UConn James

She passed peacefully yesterday just after noon. I was in the middle of administering .5 mL of the liquid morphine slowly as the nurse showed and her breathing changed and her eyes opened and I called everyone in and we said our I love you'd and I told her it was OK to go and to be with her mother and father. Our dog, who laid right with her all the previous night, so quietly (which is unusual) started barking the moment she passed and would not stop. He feels it and I can see his sadness. Thank you everyone for your words. Shrader, over the past two years, we have done time in hospitals and time in home care through Whipple surgery recovery with a feeding tube and meds, then three rounds of chemos and a brief radiation in between, and this last ditch of radioactive seeds. It just metastasized in multiple places and it couldn't be stopped. She disliked the hospital because of the noise and such and because home is comfortable and beautiful with our view of the lake from her room. Her wishes were to pass here. And caring for her is nothing new for me and I'm honored that she trusted me to do it. Tom, I know she's an *hole. She's one who has a Master's in SW and thinks she knows it all. You actually DO know it all... and time has shown that you do also have a heart even if it rarely shows itself. Thank you. KD, We had gone to our GP last Monday to get an appraisal of the situation that we basically knew going in. He said that when his mother passed last year that he felt relief and at the time I didn't quite understand how that could be but after our crying immediately after she went yesterday, I too felt a sense of relief and peace in my chest. I hope it will last and that I don't get grief tightness because after my grandfather & my dog (who was my best friend) passed within a week in 2008, it was like 6 months of feeling like I was having a heart attack all day every day. There re is this hustle and bustle of the next few days / week and then as you said that will subside and there will be a void. Going to have to deal with that as best we can. I am most concerned about one of my nieces who I suspect is also high on the autism spectrum and how she's going to deal with this. We have grown so close in the past two years (she lives just down the road) and how she's processing all of this. Again, I thank you all for your support and thoughts/prayers.

My mum lost lucidity on Thursday evening (but had ever-so-brief moments until yesterday morning). She's now slipping away and has transitioned to the "active dying" stage. Started overnight hospice care and I am doing meds during the day. Liquid morphine and Ativan to de-facto induce a coma-like state and remove all pain. We are accommodating everyone from friends and family who've wanted to say their goodbyes. So much I could say here, and there are moments all around of of people 'losing their ****' and breaking down and I'm among them. I've been told my heart-of-stone s-i-l that my level of crying is not normal and I should seek a med from my GP (as background, it is highly suspected that I have PDD-NOS / high-functioning autism and diagnosed depression & anxiety with a med that has helped lots), and here I thought that I've actually been handling it all pretty well in comparison to some others. A cousin came over yesterday and said "tears are the overflow of love." I will cry as much as I feel. Could go on and on but I've put most on Facebook and private convos. But... just... please pray for mercy and peace.

I actually used that as the alarm clock music for her on the day of my mum's cancer surgery ~2 years ago. She got a chuckle out of it. I think it's more in keeping when facing tough situations when you're not in control anymore and there's a certain grace/acceptance of whatever will happen in it, not after the fact. Not at all judging people who do use it, but for me, it doesn't jibe. Recently, I've come across a couple of songs that she has liked. (I posted a brief summary in the Cancer thread.) The second one just gets me every time.

My mum was in the hospital the past week and got home today. A more "aggressive"-drug course of chemo was tried and didn't do anything for the liver. A CT report said it was 25-30% lesions. There were also new lesions on her lungs. They implanted radioactive seeds a few weeks ago and those have not shrunken them either... in fact, they've grown. I'm not sure what the options are now. She has lost SO much weight in the past two years of fighting this sh-- and it seems like she's starting to go downhill now. We're going to be having a nuclear-family meeting. It looks like things from now on are going to be about making her comfortable and pain management. Poojer, that graphic isn't vulgar or ban-able or anything. Insofar as a response to cancer, that sums it up. And that WOULD be my nice words to this horrible disease.

Well, it's another skin for Mr. Burns with its own sounds ("I bring you peace" so far). As I said earlier, this is a classic Halloween special episode featuring the X-Files characters Mulder & Scully which is maybe my favorite Simpsons ep. So for me, definitely. I'm noticing among a lot of my Neighbors, many of whom are pretty into the game, a large % of them don't have enough. The 14,900 DNA things was quite high, even for getting 5 each tap and from bags. I eked this out even when I have all the premium kids gathering candy bags. What do you mean by getting ridiculous?

I just got the U.B.O. (Unidentified Burns Object, I'm assuming) so for anyone who wants, you can place your gremlins in my town and I will NOT tap them. Anyone else close to getting it? There's officially ~2 days left, but it may be extended.

Practice, you say?

What the he!!, KD.... You just assume that I don't have that kind of scratch?!!!

So, I'm wondering whether it would be best to save up the trick or treat bags and the UFO Ammo until the next round of alien-smashing starts with the DNA helix thing. I'm wondering whether those accumulated things will be set back to zero? I've just barely gotten the last prize in this second round, and that's WITH all of the premium kids and not exactly slouching about crushing Ragalliens. EA got stingier, as each alien only gave 2 ray guns, as opposed to 3 with the previous item. This last stretch is the more desireable item, with the Burns green ghost from the classic Halloween episode. I don't wanna end up short if they decide to increase the number needed.... I like the concept of a stepped rollout so people can't get too far ahead and then stop playing during an event. Kinda disappointed that we got the sleazy strip club instead of the Maison Derrière....

Still have to consider the eras that these records were produced in. TD numbers have inflated as the league has bent over backwards to neuter defense and get more points on the scoreboards.

Uh-oh. Now that Scott's secret identity has been compromised, he needs to move to Wyoming, grow a mustache, call himself Jeb, and become a Broncos fan. It's OK, BbChicago. His name AND his wife's abs are a matter of record on TBD.

Week 8 - Bills @ Jets Loss Week 10 - KC @ Buff Win Week 11 - Bills @ Fish Loss Week 12 - Jets @ Bills Win Week 13 - Browns @ Bills Win Week 14 - Bills @ Denver Loss Week 15 - Packers @ Bills Loss Week 16 - Bills @ Oakland Win Week 17 - Bills at NE* Loss

At first it seemed a bit too much to understand it all, but I'm liking this. The Simpsons does Halloween right! At least there's no frickin' spin wheel like Easter. I got nothing good during that. Broke down and got Frink's Ray Gun today (it gives one UFO ammo every 8 hours and got Kodos), as well as the drive-in movie with the Slime Monster.

Just what the Bills needed --- a short-term marketing campaign! [eyeroll]

This is beyond stupid. And I'm not just saying this because it's my alma mater. The girl is still in grade school. Coaches, even elite ones, don't start recruiting that early. MAYBE if this were for some big basketball achievement, there would be some point. It's an entirely different sport. And it was a short freaking congratulations call about her BASEBALL play. Does anyone even know if she plays basketball or plays well? Michael Phelps is a great swimmer, but if some tennis coach had called him as a kid and said congrats on a lap time, WTF??! It's a sad day when this is a thing, and it's from an anonymous complaint by a sour grape who can't beat Geno on the court.

OK, so I have to ask.... In this new barbarian / CoC / whatever update event, how are you guys (Shrader & TheOneWith21) at like 30,000+ gold coins already? What's the strategy?

Absolutely right, Avenger. Football spills into it on one end and then Masterpiece on PBS gets it on the other. I honestly don't know what the time switch to Friday 8 p.m. will do for the ratings numbers, but seeing as it's a show more geared toward family watching anyway, it may not be bad. Jack, no respect for the blondes? I'm kinda interested to see how the surfer girl with one arm (a shark got the other) will manage the challenges. Again, it's awesome that in an era where everyone else picks 'perfect' people for their shows, AR has NEVER seemed shy about casting people with various disabilities. Kudos, Phil & CBS!!! And... it's cool that by the end, you do always end up rooting for multiple teams as you come to know them as people.

I'm not understanding the phrase "I have so many on the list" there.... Could you explain that? I get that any number of people have qualms about an Rx, and I'm absolutely not trying to be a pusher, but what's the reasoning behind the 'no pills' issue? There are other treatments that can be as effective as an Rx, including exercise and talk therapy (either with a professional or a close friend... especially if that friend has some experience in the area or is empathic / good listener), counseling, etc. While I do these to some degree, I still need the pills. I did the hermit thing for a long time. Way too long. I'm not offering a harsh judgment here, but speaking as someone who was there... that's really no way to live. I'm certain it only made me more depressed. You're truly one of the nicest people on TBD, 89! Can I help?

Sorry for the delay, Poojer. I have an Rx for Citalopram 40mg, which at the Sam's Club pharmacy is $10 for 3 months. It has really helped. What is the "similar diagnosis" --- a high-functioning autism? If so, there are a number of programs and help out there today in many parts of the country. You can reply here or on PM if you want to discuss. DCTom, thanks for the note (and for not calling me an idiot LOL). It's mostly self-therapy of positive thought and staying away from negativity ("Thoughts are things" is so true), doing some exercises that are discussed on accredited places including working on eye contact issues that have plagued me all my life & on 'chit-chat' socializing, as well as trying new things and traveling. I have talked to my doctor about these specific herbals and he said it would be fine but to perhaps limit it to one at a time. (And trust me, whenever I'm taking ANYthing, i.e. TheraFlu or an allergy med, or whatever, I check "Is ____ OK to take with citalopram?" I'm very persnickety about that....) CountryCletus, I was actually switched to an SNRI (serotonin & nor-epinephrin re-uptake inhibitor) earlier this year during a rough patch which prompted my doctor to try Venlafexine 150mg and I have to say that for me it made things much worse. Just... emotionally flatlined --- dulled everything, serious brain fog --- I felt dumber and could not mentally function as I usually did/do, terrible sexual side effects that continued for months after I stopped it, and all for $85/month. I completed the month to give it a chance and the doctor switched me back to the Citalopram. A lot of people are noting the change they see in me and it feels really good to finally be out of the weeds... or, rather, not nearly as deep in the weeds as I once was.

I've been on an SSRI med for a year and half. How long I was depressed before I started it, I don't know, but it was a while. Maybe always, but especially with some pet losses, deaths in the extended family, and health conditions in the nuclear family (2 cancers, Lyme). But it happened two Februarys ago that my heartbeat was just runaway, couldn't sleep more than an hour for ~ 3 weeks (I always had sleep issues, but that was hellish!), I physically could NOT eat, hand tremors/shakes (still have this, to some degree), thoughts racing beyond anything before or since, and I finally said that I needed help. I'm also told by some people who are in a position to know... that I'm on the autism spectrum (high-functioning) and depression / anxiety are often part-and-parcel with that. This comes a little late in the day for me, but I was one who just toughed it out and I am so thankful to have had awesome parents and brothers (and a few close friends) who've gotten me through. Right now I think I'm doing pretty good, but there are things I still need to work on. Doing some self-guided therapy, have done some road trips this summer that were nice getaways with friends (included the HOF ceremony and game), trying to socialize more --- and the anxiety of doing that has been helped a LOT by the med and the push of 'Do this, James. Don't be afraid to talk and meet people' and my nearby 6-year-old niece has been a GODSEND during this time. Literally since the first day after coming home from the doctor, it's like the Me&Her show. Trying to focus on getting work --- which has been a real struggle. I did VERY well in school and am a person who accomplishes stuff / is ultra-focused, but with large resume gaps b/c of the depression / autism stuff, I'm just not getting callbacks and I'm not quite sure what to do at this point. Starting to date as well... something I've really never done. Weight has never been an issue for me --- on the contrary! --- but I've taken to long walking with the dog most days. Trying some herbal stuff for anxiety as well. Ashwagandha Root and/or Holy Basil.

I just got tickets this morning to the ceremony and the game as a birthday gift from my best friend. #RoadTrip!!!

I just got tickets as a birthday gift, for the ceremony, game and museum. Also have never been to Canton, and this is my first game in the digital/social media era. How does everyone meet up?

My mum has been battling what the surgeon said is a very rare ampullary cancer --- basically at a convergence of the stomach, duodenum, and pancreas --- since Oct 2012. Had the Whipple surgery done which removed the duodenum and the tip (~1/5) of the pancreas. Chemo, chemo, radiation, chemo. It spread to several spots in her liver early this year. Two more rounds of chemo. Latest CT scan had the liver spots not reducing and metastasis to her lungs. She says it feels like playing Whack-a-Mole. They are trying a more aggressive chemo now. This has been such a tough road. Add into it that my dad had Stage 2 prostate cancer discovered early this year, too. He's had treatment with radioactive pellets implanted and it seems like that's that. MadCap, and others in this thread, my thoughts are with you.

I like my soup hot.

Yeah, what jboyst said!