Picnic table F'er sentenced

[Just Jack]

We'll make sure people only have sex the way God intended: Man on top, woman on bottom (not speaking or moving of course).

Like some high class british porn movie.

[LongLiveRalph]

Yeah, banging a picnic table is a bit strange - but have you ever surfed the internet dude? there is a lot stranger stuff than that out there.

 

Two tables one cup

[stevestojan]

The guy's only "crime" is living next to a nosy neighbor and not having enough money to afford a pocket pu$$y.

 

As stated earlier, I'm shocked that anyone cares about this.

 

I'd rather live next door to a guy who sticks his crank in a picnic table than some guy who's going to aim his video camera into my house.

[stuckincincy]

http://www.wnwo.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=150083 I'm shocked that there are people out there coming to the defense of this useless deviant. He belongs UNDER the prison. It's not a privacy issue and it shouldn't be shrugged off as a mere "masturbation incident". IMO this is an extremely disturbed individual who by his own perverse and disturbing actions has forfeited his right to live amongst decent, law abiding, and contributing members of society. Hopefully the public humiliation and 6 months behind bars will be enough to straighten this sick ba5t@rd out, but if it were up to me, the penalty would be much more severe.

 

 

Much ado about a "Woodie"...

[John Adams]

http://www.wnwo.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=150083 I'm shocked that there are people out there coming to the defense of this useless deviant. He belongs UNDER the prison. It's not a privacy issue and it shouldn't be shrugged off as a mere "masturbation incident". IMO this is an extremely disturbed individual who by his own perverse and disturbing actions has forfeited his right to live amongst decent, law abiding, and contributing members of society. Hopefully the public humiliation and 6 months behind bars will be enough to straighten this sick ba5t@rd out, but if it were up to me, the penalty would be much more severe.

 

You want to kill a guy for jerking his gherkin in an odd way? People like you are utterly frightening.

[erynthered]

You want to kill a guy for jerking his gherkin in an odd way? People like you are utterly frightening.

 

 

Maybe BLZFAN4LIFE has a patent pending for that particular maneuver.

[apuszczalowski]

This could be much worse. Atleast he was in the privacy of his own backyard, using his own picnic table. I don't even think giving him 6 months is fair. The embarrassment of this becoming public should be harsh enough. The guy didn't sneak over to a neighbors yard to do it, he didn't do it out in public infront of everyone, he did it somewhere that should be private enough. He didn't do it to a child, or someone who was unwilling where it could be considered rape

 

This guy is not a danger to society because he "gets his rocks off" by humping a hole in a table top. He's no more of a danger then someone having sex with a blow up doll or the "pocket kitty" (as someone suggested). I could think of many other things that people do sexually that I would think make them more messed up then this guy

[KD in CA]

I would think going through life known as the "Picnic Table F---er" would be sufficient punishment.

[PastaJoe]

I'd rather live next door to a guy who sticks his crank in a picnic table than some guy who's going to aim his video camera into my house.

 

Afraid he'd get a tape of you seducing your chest of drawers?

[Cornerville]

I see you're from LA, that explains a lot.

 

Way to paint an entire area of the country with a broad brush! Take your anger and narrow minded thinking somewhere else.

[drnykterstein]

I would think going through life known as the "Picnic Table F---er" would be sufficient punishment.

 

Yeah no kidding!

[DC Tom]

Secondly, I was using what I know of serial killers (as you point out) and applying it to this case.

 

Serial killers are known for gettin' it on with patio furniture?

 

Come on...you can't tell me you haven't walked through Home Depot and said to yourself "Man, that's a mighty fine lookin' bistro set...hubba hubba..." or "That chaise lounge has some serious curves." Just look at that bistro set. Trust me, if you hit it, we wouldn't blame you. Look at the see-through top on that chair. It's practically begging for it.

 

 

 

(Links are safe for work...unless you work with BLZFAN4LIFE, in which case they're pornographic.)

[WWVaBeach]

I'm glad to be a Bills fan for life...I'm also glad I'm not BLZFAN4LIFE!

[John Adams]

Secondly, I was using what I know of serial killers (as you point out) and applying it to this case. I think APJ has demonstrated that he was on a path of increased depravity and perhaps the police nipped a potentially dangerous perp in the bud. According to the story, first he was seen masturbating inside of his house within view an open doorway, then with the table inside, and when that wasn't fun enough, he moved his act outside in view of his neighbors and close to an elementary school. If you are so certain that this wouldn't escalate to anything, then why not prepare your guest bedroom for a visitor in 6 months?

 

If you're two blocks from a school, you're near it but it has nothing to do with the story...except that it made for a more titillating writeup. You really jumped right into this story didn't you? Hitting close to home is it?

 

Jesus man. There are lots stranger masturbation techniques going on, and most of them are probably normal people. Everyone who jerks off looks like a dumbass. That's why we all feel disgusted during the cleanup phase.

 

This guy was just a little wierder than others. No proof ANYWHERE that it was leading to anything else except maybe the next step was the porch swing.

[Guffalo]

If you're two blocks from a school, you're near it but it has nothing to do with the story...except that it made for a more titillating writeup. You really jumped right into this story didn't you? Hitting close to home is it?

 

Jesus man. There are lots stranger masturbation techniques going on, and most of them are probably normal people. Everyone who jerks off looks like a dumbass. That's why we all feel disgusted during the cleanup phase.

 

This guy was just a little wierder than others. No proof ANYWHERE that it was leading to anything else except maybe the next step was the porch swing.

 

Can't happen, the porch swing is dating the mailman, pretty serious relationship too.

[DC Tom]

Can't happen, the porch swing is dating the mailman, pretty serious relationship too.

 

Yeah, but the mailman ain't getting any. I hear the swing's holding out until marriage.

[KD in CA]

Yeah, but the mailman ain't getting any. I hear the swing's holding out until marriage.

 

 

I heard the swing goes both ways.

[erynthered]

I heard the swing goes both ways.

 

 

Oh Man!!

[CosmicBills]

I love you guys.

[Ramius]

Serial killers are known for gettin' it on with patio furniture?

 

Come on...you can't tell me you haven't walked through Home Depot and said to yourself "Man, that's a mighty fine lookin' bistro set...hubba hubba..." or "That chaise lounge has some serious curves." Just look at that bistro set. Trust me, if you hit it, we wouldn't blame you. Look at the see-through top on that chair. It's practically begging for it.

 

 

 

(Links are safe for work...unless you work with BLZFAN4LIFE, in which case they're pornographic.)

 

Not one for the chaise lounge, but you should see the legs on my barstools...

[Chilly]

Not one for the chaise lounge, but you should see the legs on my barstools...

 

I dunno, that chaise lounge is pretty damn hot. See the tongue on that thing? Imagine the possibilities.

[Beerball]

I dunno, that chaise lounge is pretty damn hot. See the tongue on that thing? Imagine the possibilities.

Any rumor to the truth that Matsui's not so new bride lays like a table?

[Da Big Man]

Would you care to show some scientific proof about that please?

 

It's true that deviant activities, such as killing animals, leads to sociopathic tendencies later in life. But I haven't read any research indicating masterbation via inanimate objects is considered deviant and leads to anything worse.

 

There's a lot of REALLY weird sexual stuff out there that, to me, seems far more deviant, but I'd never think it's going to escalate to anything.

Hey Mr. science! Masterbation using inanimate objects like dolls or tables does fall under a chapter in my psych 405 book called "abnormal psych."

[Da Big Man]

And dude ... you need to chill. Like, seriously. Deep breaths. To the undiscerning eye this looks like you're just repressed and/or jealous. The question is whether or not you're jealous of the guy or the picnic table.

 

To quote someone far wiser:

 

"Who cares what coupling gives any consenting adults pleasure? All we should care about is people are going home and getting off somehow, with something, some one, anyone because a person who gets off tends not to be a nut who gets off OFFING people."

 

So chill. Or go get your own picnic table.

Obviously you are part of the problem. limited vision makes limited minds. let me quess liberal public schools, it's not your fault they made you read a book called my two dads. any idiot can quote someone elses quote. thanx for playing

[CosmicBills]

Obviously you are part of the problem. limited vision makes limited minds. let me quess liberal public schools, it's not your fault they made you read a book called my two dads. any idiot can quote someone elses quote. thanx for playing

 

Was that English?

[Da Big Man]

Now you're stretching.

 

He moved close to an elementary school? No. His house is just NEAR an elementary school. That is soooooo not the same thing. Who cares what he does in his own home so long as he's not injuring anyone. There are lots of freaks in the world, and most of them are anything but dangerous.

 

But you're right. Let's hold a public hearing on picnic table abuse. Let's flush more of the citizen's tax dollars down the drain to incarcerate the dangerous picnic table fu*ker before he moves on to beach chairs. We'll get Congress to hold hearings and fund studies! Let it be known that if anyone gets off in a way that you find "odd" they should be locked up forever! We'll make sure people only have sex the way God intended: Man on top, woman on bottom (not speaking or moving of course).

 

That'll teach 'em.

ya know as I read these quotes I can now see how the decay of society as slowly crept through the pours of our world. One simple mind at a time. do you honestly expect me to believe that there is no difference between f*ckn a table and good dirty sex between a man and a woman. just say no! this man can enjoy a table in the "PRIVACY" of his own home when he takes it outside it is in "PUBLIC" . my 8 year old understands the difference

[Da Big Man]

 

Was that English?

Is that the best you got?

[CosmicBills]

Is that the best you got?

If you mean competency in the English language and rational thought, then yes.

[Fezmid]

Hey Mr. science! Masterbation using inanimate objects like dolls or tables does fall under a chapter in my psych 405 book called "abnormal psych."

 

Let me know where in that chapter it says that masterbation using inanimate objects escalates into rape and murder and we'll talk, m'kay?

 

And it's funny that you're bitching to tgregg about a liberal arts degree, and yet you're taking psych.

[Fezmid]

his man can enjoy a table in the "PRIVACY" of his own home when he takes it outside it is in "PUBLIC" . my 8 year old understands the difference

He WAS doing it on his own property. Thanks for playing!

[CosmicBills]

Let me know where in that chapter it says that masterbation using inanimate objects escalates into rape and murder and we'll talk, m'kay?

 

And it's funny that you're bitching to tgregg about a liberal arts degree, and yet you're taking psych.

Shhh!

 

He's ranting about the evils of sex.

[Da Big Man]

You want to kill a guy for jerking his gherkin in an odd way? People like you are utterly frightening.

to all you liberal dems. over the past 20 years I have watched jobs go over seas and will and grace become a successful program. I have a college degree and still work in the blue collar sector. I have watched towers fall. this country has fallen far from grace. from clinton signing nafta and putting china on the most favored nation status with the wto. now our gov of ny state has recognized gay marriages and has given them all the rights and privleges there in. how many more abnormal and deviant behaviors are you willing to accept. how many rights are you willing to give up so that subcultures can be accepted. hell! lets make pedifilia legal. it's someones right isn't it. this man deserves to be made an example of, plain and simple. heres an idea, air the footage in his hometown like the police do for men who frequent prostitutes. Oh yeah, and believe it or not I like dirty one on one anything goes heterosexual sex. God Bless America, there is still hope . One man alone can't get it done, together we can move mountains.

[Da Big Man]

He WAS doing it on his own property. Thanks for playing!

like I said , my 8 year old knows the difference, your welcome

[Da Big Man]

Let me know where in that chapter it says that masterbation using inanimate objects escalates into rape and murder and we'll talk, m'kay?

 

And it's funny that you're bitching to tgregg about a liberal arts degree, and yet you're taking psych.

Another genius!!! show me where iI was bittchin to tgregg about a degree. read much?

[Fezmid]

Another genius!!! show me where iI was bittchin to tgregg about a degree. read much?

 

You said:

"let me quess liberal public schools,"

 

I'm also trying to figure out how the WTO and NAFTA have anything to do with deviant activity. You claim you have a degree, but I guess it was in a school that doesn't teach spelling, grammar, or even how to write a compelling argument.

[DC Tom]

any idiot can quote someone elses quote

 

Damn straight!

 

 

Now tell us again what you read about this in your psych book...

[drnykterstein]

to all you liberal dems. over the past 20 years I have watched jobs go over seas and will and grace become a successful program. I have a college degree and still work in the blue collar sector. I have watched towers fall. this country has fallen far from grace. from clinton signing nafta and putting china on the most favored nation status with the wto. now our gov of ny state has recognized gay marriages and has given them all the rights and privleges there in. how many more abnormal and deviant behaviors are you willing to accept. how many rights are you willing to give up so that subcultures can be accepted. hell! lets make pedifilia legal. it's someones right isn't it. this man deserves to be made an example of, plain and simple. heres an idea, air the footage in his hometown like the police do for men who frequent prostitutes. Oh yeah, and believe it or not I like dirty one on one anything goes heterosexual sex. God Bless America, there is still hope . One man alone can't get it done, together we can move mountains.

 

Wow, how did this turn political? The whole premise of the thread was originally just silly. But since we are getting serious.....

 

The whole point of just letting the guy rape his table if he wants is freedom. He was doing an activity in the privacy of his house. He was not killing or hurting any persons. Nor was he planning on hurting persons, that we can reasonably assume. Thus this fellow should be free to do whatever he wants. It is his private property and his private activity.

 

The fact that he was arrested and convicted I feel is a breach of my American freedoms. The fact that he was sticking his penis in a picnic table is negligable. It was an invasion of his privacy and scares me that the government can push it's way so far into our private lives. That, my friend has nothing to do with liberals, and everything to do with government control over-extending its reach, and you thinking it's a good idea.

[DC Tom]

Wow, how did this turn political? The whole premise of the thread was originally just silly. But since we are getting serious.....

 

The whole point of just letting the guy rape his table if he wants is freedom. He was doing an activity in the privacy of his house. He was not killing or hurting any persons. Nor was he planning on hurting persons, that we can reasonably assume. Thus this fellow should be free to do whatever he wants. It is his private property and his private activity.

 

The fact that he was arrested and convicted I feel is a breach of my American freedoms. The fact that he was sticking his penis in a picnic table is negligable. It was an invasion of his privacy and scares me that the government can push it's way so far into our private lives. That, my friend has nothing to do with liberals, and everything to do with government control overextending its reach, and you thinking it's a good idea.

 

"Rape his table"? Oh, please. It was consensual. That table puts out for damn near anyone.

[CosmicBills]

to all you liberal dems. over the past 20 years I have watched jobs go over seas and will and grace become a successful program. I have a college degree and still work in the blue collar sector. I have watched towers fall. this country has fallen far from grace. from clinton signing nafta and putting china on the most favored nation status with the wto. now our gov of ny state has recognized gay marriages and has given them all the rights and privleges there in. how many more abnormal and deviant behaviors are you willing to accept. how many rights are you willing to give up so that subcultures can be accepted. hell! lets make pedifilia legal. it's someones right isn't it. this man deserves to be made an example of, plain and simple. heres an idea, air the footage in his hometown like the police do for men who frequent prostitutes. Oh yeah, and believe it or not I like dirty one on one anything goes heterosexual sex. God Bless America, there is still hope . One man alone can't get it done, together we can move mountains.

 

HOLY COW.

 

Let's tally up the checklist for Mr. Da Big Man, shall we?

 

1. Homophobia (check)

2. Closed mindedness (check)

3. Paranoia (check)

4. Grandstanding a cause which has no relation to the topic (check)

5. Irrational logic (check)

 

Yup ... looks like he's one or two posts away from being a class 1 bigot.

 

It's guys like this that are FAAAAR more dangerous than picnic table fu*kers.

[CosmicBills]

Damn straight!

 

 

Now tell us again what you read about this in your psych book...