Usually how long do you wait to fart for the first time in a relationship?

[Royale with Cheese]

Just want to see if there’s a general consensus out there.  Im thinking at least…5 months?  Are you/were you sooner?

[Mike in Horseheads]

First date, roll back and light a fart on fire. Guaranteed to break the ice 

[RichStadiumGuy]

First date... and when she ripped one off longer & louder than mine about 10 minutes later I KNEW she was the one!

[davefan66]

Well, my wife farted on me first date.  I don’t subscribe to that early in a relationship, but we’ve been together 31 years…

[PromoTheRobot]

9 hours ago, Royale with Cheese said:

Just want to see if there’s a general consensus out there.  Im thinking at least…5 months?  Are you/were you sooner?

 

It depends. Do either of you go potty in front of the other? By that point farts are okay, unless you have one that's been aging like limburger.

[boater]

My policy: If you have one at the ready, do not hold back. Let'er rip no matter where you are in the relationship.

 

Rationale: She's getting it one way or another. "When you hold in a fart, some gas is reabsorbed into your bloodstream and eventually exhaled through your lungs" Which way would she rather have it, in a kiss or a whiff?

 

 

 

 

[DD4Bills]

Honestly don't recall...a few months maybe? At this point, however, even though I've been married 38 years, at my age I don't dare risk it.

[Augie]

This is the kind of deep thinking that keeps me coming back.   

 

My first weekend at college they had a big introductory event. Beer trucks and music and new friends until the sun came up and it was time to jump on a bus to a camp for some retreat. Shortly after boarding the bus I realized there was no bathroom on board. Shortly after that I would have given anything for a bathroom. 

 

I’ll skip the long agonizing ride, but it was one to remember…..or forget, but I can’t forget it. I’ve tried. 

 

When we got to our destination I was first off the bus heading to the closest building, looking for the first bathroom I could find. I barely noticed on the way in that it said “Women” on the door. It certainly did not slow me down. No time to waste!

 

A couple minutes later my stall is surrounded by girls from the bus. It was eye opening, to say the least. Nothing dainty happened in there! 

 

Don’t flaunt it, but it’s nothing new to them. 

[Sweats]

I let them rip the first meeting with anyone.........i let them know what they're dealing with right off the bat.

 

I'm lonely

[Draconator]

First date. My now wife and I let one rip. She was like "manners" when I let it go. When she let hers go, I said the exact same thing. She responded with "ladies don't fart, we toot". Something she still says to this day. I tell her she farts and can clear a room, she rationalizes "I don't know what your talking about. I had a slightly foul passing of gas", to which I say, "THATS A FART", to which she says "I don't understand your words". That has been going on for the almost 13 years we have been together. 

 

When her kids were in Elementary School, the bad F word wasn't F U * K, it was F A R T.

Edited 6 hours ago by Draconator

[ExiledInIllinois]

 

[thenorthremembers]

My now wife moved in with me 3 months after we met.   We hadnt crossed that bridge yet.   I outkicked my coverage big time and didnt want to gross her out.   

 

Long story short my ass went rouge one night and I literally jump scared myself awake.   Must have impressed her because four months later we were engaged.  14 years and 4 kids later she still doesnt in front of me if she can help it.

 

Side note is there any better car ride than leaving a first date and finally getting a little relief?

 

 

[PromoTheRobot]

37 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

 

 

Kinky!

[ExiledInIllinois]

49 minutes ago, thenorthremembers said:

My now wife moved in with me 3 months after we met.   We hadnt crossed that bridge yet.   I outkicked my coverage big time and didnt want to gross her out.   

 

Long story short my ass went rouge one night and I literally jump scared myself awake.   Must have impressed her because four months later we were engaged.  14 years and 4 kids later she still doesnt in front of me if she can help it.

 

Side note is there any better car ride than leaving a first date and finally getting a little relief?

 

 

WOW!  Impressive!  You involuntary fart while sleeping.  Fart dreaming!

 

That's downright nasty! In a good way?😉

[thenorthremembers]

34 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

WOW!  Impressive!  You involuntary fart while sleeping.  Fart dreaming!

 

That's downright nasty! In a good way?😉

I was a vegetarian at the time.   I was pretty much a walking involuntary fart.

[US Egg]

Overall women have worse gastric issues than men so the pressure is more on them to break the ice. 💨

[Southern McButterpants]

I've been married for 32 years and still do not fart in front of my wife.

 

[Simon]

Are we talking about casual walking through the living room farts or are we talking about full dutch ovens, farting into the hair dryer intake when she's bent over drying her hair, etc?

[ExiledInIllinois]

How about farting "silent, but deadly" while say shopping, then boogieing out of there before your sig other realizes that you laid toxic waste... Does that count?

 

Then watching the carnage 2 aisles over, while others give her a disgusting look thinking she dropped that hideous bomb!

 

 

[Augie]

2 hours ago, Simon said:

Are we talking about casual walking through the living room farts or are we talking about full dutch ovens, farting into the hair dryer intake when she's bent over drying her hair, etc?

 

The intensity of the hair dryer intake reminded me of a wedding I went to for a childhood friend. Another of our little gang was there with his bride whom I had never met. She walked right up to me and her first words were “So, you’re the one who sat on my husband’s head and farted.”  What do you say to that??? I do not remember that AT ALL, but I also didn’t deny with all my heart, because…..🤷‍♂️

 

It turns out she was lovely and with a good sense of humor. She didn’t seem angry about anything I might have done, she just wanted to know who was who. 

 

 

.

Edited 1 hour ago by Augie