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YoloinOhio

Why Your Team Sucks 2019

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Posted (edited)

 

Your coach: This team handpicked a defensive guru to pair with Josh Rosen and then shitcanned both of them immediately for a corgi quarterback and a Vineyard Vines fascist

 

😂😂😂

Edited by YoloinOhio
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Elsewhere on the roster, the team brought in 86-year-old Terrell Suggs and his alarmingly huge gums.

 

 

omg I cant breathe LOL

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these are usually fantastic.  i was actually let down by the bill's one last year.  far too boring.

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Perfect description of Clay

 

They signed tight end Charles Clay, the guy you pick up in DFS because you can’t afford anyone better.

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, teef said:

these are usually fantastic.  i was actually let down by the bill's one last year.  far too boring.

They have some good material to work with this year - halftime retirement, Antonio brown, etc 

Edited by YoloinOhio
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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, teef said:

these are usually fantastic.  i was actually let down by the bill's one last year.  far too boring.

 

So, even our “why we suck” sucked? Figures......That’s the Bills for you.....

 

 

.

Edited by Augie
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10 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

So, even our “why we suck” sucked? Figures......That’s the Bills for you.....

 

 

.

we can never have nice things.  even when we do, scottlaw still hates them.

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This is my absolute favorite thing before preseason. I am genuinely excited to read these things each year. Not so much for the bills as the whole league. I agree ours last year wasn’t that good. Oh this year though they have some fun ammo though. After reading the cardinals that’s hard to beat. Great job deadspin 

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1 hour ago, Rc2catch said:

This is my absolute favorite thing before preseason. I am genuinely excited to read these things each year. Not so much for the bills as the whole league. I agree ours last year wasn’t that good. Oh this year though they have some fun ammo though. After reading the cardinals that’s hard to beat. Great job deadspin 

The Jets write-up this year with Gase Eyes should be legendary 

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7 hours ago, YoloinOhio said:
Your coach: This team handpicked a defensive guru to pair with Josh Rosen and then shitcanned both of them immediately for a corgi quarterback and a Vineyard Vines fascist

😂😂😂

I did not know Murray was Welsh.  I learn something every day here.

3 hours ago, teef said:

we can never have nice things.  even when we do, scottlaw still hates them.

I am convinced that Jerry Sullivan used to read Scott's posts to write his column.

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Posted (edited)

This team has the potential to be epically bad.  A joke of a HC, a sexual predator and utter coaching trash as DC,  a clown as GM and an owner who's chromosome count is either 1 too many or 1 too few.  

 

 

And tiny Kyler Murray.

 

The perfect storm.

 

"The Cardinals should be playing casinos since they’re basically just a tribute act to an NFL team. I can see the billboards now: “Come watch Not-Quite-Sean-McVay coach I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Russell-Wilson, throwing to Almost-Jerry-Rice. Squint your eyes after drinking enough beer and they almost look like a real football team!”

Edited by Mr. WEO
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19 hours ago, teef said:

these are usually fantastic.  i was actually let down by the bill's one last year.  far too boring.

 

Agreed, and I'll happily laugh along with our ineptitude.  This year's Bills one should be interesting, considering Magary is a Vikes fan and the Bills destroyed them.  I'm sure we'll be subjected to a lot of warranted Peterman jokes, and I expect Kelvin Benjamin to make an appearance as well.

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30 minutes ago, eball said:

 

Agreed, and I'll happily laugh along with our ineptitude.  This year's Bills one should be interesting, considering Magary is a Vikes fan and the Bills destroyed them.  I'm sure we'll be subjected to a lot of warranted Peterman jokes, and I expect Kelvin Benjamin to make an appearance as well.

The Patriots version is always outrageously funny every year as well - and with the Kraft story it will be epic 

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I actually feel bad for Larry Fitzgerald.  He is a class act and a top notch receiver.  He really deserves alot better than what the cardinals are fielding.  

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Posted (edited)

 

Your 2018 record: 4-12, featuring two three-game losing streaks and a six-game losing streak. That’s a lot of Jetsiness to pack into one season, but this franchise rarely, if ever, lets America down when it comes to being terrible in the densest possible concentrations. They got frog-stomped 41-10 by a Bills team quarterbacked by Matt Barkley, which is somehow even more humiliating than losing to Nathan Peterman. 

Edited by YoloinOhio

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About the Raiders:

 

“This’ll be a rare case where VEGAS is the sucker for once,”

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These stop being funny like 5 years ago. Deadspin is pretty much dead and the last few articles I read tried way too hard to tie crying about Trump in every article. 

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Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, uticaclub said:

These stop being funny like 5 years ago. Deadspin is pretty much dead and the last few articles I read tried way too hard to tie crying about Trump in every article. 

 

In their defense, Trump is basically the worst thing to ever happen to ...well....the planet.... in the last number of years anyways.

Edited by Jdragon2
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‘Football Mets’?  That ought to resonate with Guggles.  😁

 

Magary invokes the name of Richie Kotite!  If ever there was a visual for ‘stunned ineptitude’ walking the sidelines, it’s Kotite.

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11 minutes ago, Jdragon2 said:

 

In their defense, Trump is basically the worst thing to ever happen to ...well....the planet.

 

You should probably read some books.

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I’d love to toss in something about the Prez causing the death of satire in the world, but this isn’t the forum for that..

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