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Foxx

A Quick Laugh to Get By

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The Bible and the Koran both teach us to love one another.

The Kama Sutra is a bit more specific.

 

 

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A hydrogen atom walks into a police station and says:  "Somebody stole my electron."

Policeman says: "Are you sure?"

Hydrogen atom says: "I'm positive."

 

A neutron orders a beer at a bar.

Finishing it, he asks the bartender: "How much?"

Bartender says: "For you, no charge."

 

A photon checks in at the ticket counter for his flight.

"Agent says: "Any bags to check?"

Photon says: "No, I'm travelling light."

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A priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister are at a multi-faith conference in a rural wooded area.

On Monday, after a meeting they are conversing about which faith is the best.

Priest says Catholicism is, Pastor says Protestant faith is, Rabbi says Judaism is.

They decide to compete by seeing who can be the most successful and converting to their faith throughout the week and meeint Friday night to decide.

 

Friday comes and Priest spots Pastor and they start talking.

Priest says: "I was quite successful. I met a bear in the woods and have him a Catholic Catechism, told him a bout Mary and the Pope and all that, and he had his first communion today."

Pastor says: "I had great fortune too. I also met a bear in the woods and told him about salvation by grace through faith, and I baptized him this morning." 

Neither can find the Rabbi, but after about ten minutes he comes in being carried on a stretcher with bandages all over him and claw marks on his face.

Pastor and Priest both say in unison: "What happened to you?"

 

Rabbi says: " I ran into a bear in the woods. I knew I shouldn't have started with circumcision."

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A man walks into a bar and asks

 

Do these lights make me look orange?  

 

 

thank you, thank you ..  I'll be here all week 

 

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A rabbi and a priest were talking. The priest asked the rabbi if he was disappointed that he couldn't eat bacon. The rabbi said, "In my younger days, I strayed from my religion and ate bacon once. It was good, and I sort of miss it."

Then the rabbi asked the priest if he was disappointed about having to remain celibate. The priest said, "Well, before I entered the priesthood, I slept with my high-school sweetheart, so I know what sex is like."

The rabbi grinned and said, "It's better than bacon, isn't it?"

 

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A man comes home and tells his wife, “What would you say if I won the lottery?”

”I’d take half the money and leave you!” She said. 
“Well, here’s six bucks. See you later.”

 

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One for Valentines Day.

 

A woman calls her husband and states “Three woman in the office just received flowers for Valentines Day and they are gorgeous”

Husband “That’s probably why they got ‘em”

 

I’m here the rest of the week. Heard that this morning on Dublin radio heading to the airport.

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The IT department told me I needed to change my password to one that is eight characters long, so I changed it to "SnowWhiteAndThe7Dwarves"

 

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