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What Makes a Man Cheat?


ExiledInIllinois

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10 hours ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

These researchers think they know:

 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-6207059/amp/What-makes-man-cheat-college-education-working-bar.html

 

College educated and working around more women or working in a bar. Water still makes OTHER THINGS wet.

 

Yet, college educated women stray less.  Go figure?

 

 

  I could think of dozens of reasons of why men cheat although I have never cheated on my wife.  I question that college educated women stray less.  I think that on average women are more aggressive than they were a couple generations ago.  I have had women burn a hole through me at even a church when I am there with my wife.  I have had women just ignore when I bring up that I have a wife when at a store.  Quite often these are women who keep trim athletic bodies and dress to flaunt what they have.  

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2 minutes ago, TheElectricCompany said:

We begin by coveting what we see every day

  Coveting is typically a religious notion and a notion that Catholics employ though not limited to Catholics.  I think that most men's brains are more primal than that.  Anyhow, if looking through a religious filter that the concepts of temptation and of forgiveness also are part of the cycle.  Hopefully.  If the notion of thinking it is just as bad as doing it is the ultimate filter then most guys including myself are in trouble.

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I'd offer men cheat out of loneliness, primarily, not sex.  The older you get, the less friends the modern male tends to have.  Once the kids and mortgage come along and the job with long hours,  the Mrs. no longer sees you as that hot man but the necessary means to the end of making money, mowing lawn, etc.  A man can be surrounded by lots of people and feel quite isolated. 

 

In the old days, men would leave work and hang out at the bar for a few hours or join a social club or participate in things like a bowling league or game/fish club.  Today, most men are more isolated - they work out alone, do activities alone, do yard work alone or surrounded by the wife and kids 24/7.  

 

The question that I wish that "research" looked into was if the cheaitng men had any sort of their "own" social circle with their own hobbies.  I'd guess they do not and I'd hypothesize that men with the more active social circle have less inclination to cheat because life feels a little more fulfilling and active.

 

 

 

 

Edited by dpberr
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11 minutes ago, dpberr said:

I'd offer men cheat out of loneliness, primarily, not sex.  The older you get, the less friends the modern male tends to have.  Once the kids and mortgage come along and the job with long hours,  the Mrs. no longer sees you as that hot man but the necessary means to the end of making money, mowing lawn, etc.  A man can be surrounded by lots of people and feel quite isolated. 

 

In the old days, men would leave work and hang out at the bar for a few hours or join a social club or participate in things like a bowling league or game/fish club.  Today, most men are more isolated - they work out alone, do activities alone, do yard work alone or surrounded by the wife and kids 24/7.  

 

The question that I wish that "research" looked into was if the cheaitng men had any sort of their "own" social circle with their own hobbies.  I'd guess they do not and I'd hypothesize that men with the more active social circle have less inclination to cheat because life feels a little more fulfilling and active.

 

 

 

 

  I support the notion that activities lessen the likelihood of cheating but loneliness being a source of the desire to cheat is hit or miss depending on the man.  Any impulses I might have to cheat are not due to me being lonely.  Me having any kind of productive day due to work or hobby far lessens the sexual desire that may be pointed at women other than my wife.

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3 hours ago, eball said:

Men didn't evolve to be monogamous.  We force ourselves to be.  It's really that simple.

I agree with this.  

 

Something that a lot of people don't talk about is the fact that the novelty of having a new sex partner is a big part of sexual attraction for men.  

 

I.E., that which is fresh and new is sexy; that which is old and familiar loses sexual attraction.

 

There's a reason for that; we're programmed by evolution to sprinkle our DNA over a wide sample of the population to ensure our offspring survive.

 

 

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2 hours ago, RochesterRob said:

  I could think of dozens of reasons of why men cheat although I have never cheated on my wife.  I question that college educated women stray less.  I think that on average women are more aggressive than they were a couple generations ago.  I have had women burn a hole through me at even a church when I am there with my wife.  I have had women just ignore when I bring up that I have a wife when at a store.  Quite often these are women who keep trim athletic bodies and dress to flaunt what they have.  

 

Based on my experience, I also question that conclusion.  I think college educated women are just more discrete.  In my single days I had 3 different married women start the flirtation with me that ended up in bed.

 

As for men, it's not rocket science.  What makes a man stray is usually opportunity.  IMO, most married men don't go seeking it out, but many don't have the willpower to say no if they get an offer.  Married women on the other hand get offers all the time....that's not what makes them stray.

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2 hours ago, Boyst62 said:

Why the hell would anyone do that?

Long Answer:

Because it's socially responsible, adds order to the community and provides society with some sort of moral compass.  Basically, it staves off chaos, anarchy and people living purely by emotion and their sexual desire.  And... We see how wonderful communities become when they start living off their primal urges = Chaos.

 

Unlike rabbits or other species of animals, insects, etc... Outside of war, disease, famine what is the orderly predation towards humans?  The check is to limit supply in a sane and orderly fashion

 

In short, the human world needs order, not emotion, chaos caused by primal urges. And religion has genuinely tried to provide that, same with governments now that religion is being questioned more and more and the individual is seen as the most important.

 

Answer: Good social order.

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9 minutes ago, KD in CA said:

 

Based on my experience, I also question that conclusion.  I think college educated women are just more discrete.  In my single days I had 3 different married women start the flirtation with me that ended up in bed.

 

As for men, it's not rocket science.  What makes a man stray is usually opportunity.  IMO, most married men don't go seeking it out, but many don't have the willpower to say no if they get an offer.  Married women on the other hand get offers all the time....that's not what makes them stray.

  I agree with your last sentence.  I am not sure how many guys go seeking it out but unless you live like a hermit it seems opportunity is there at a minimum of once per month.  I've always turned it down since being married but get the shakes while going through the offer and for a few hour afterward.  

 

  College educated women fall into a few different categories when it comes to fidelity.  I've known women who have put up with cheaters but take the stance that I have come this far and worked hard for my profession so I will maintain appearances to my peers.  Some take the view that an open marriage where both partners have outside relationships is part of a modern enlightened marriage.  Then there are those who are firmly attached to traditional social structures.  It may surprise the authors of the article in that many non-college educated women do not mate like animals and firmly believe in a committed relationship.

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5 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

Long Answer:

Because it's socially responsible, adds order to the community and provides society with some sort of moral compass.  Basically, it staves off chaos, anarchy and people living purely by emotion and their sexual desire.  And... We see how wonderful communities become when they start living off their primal urges = Chaos.

 

Unlike rabbits or other species of animals, insects, etc... Outside of war, disease, famine what is the orderly predation towards humans?  The check is to limit supply in a sane and orderly fashion

 

In short, the human world needs order, not emotion, chaos caused by primal urges. And religion has genuinely tried to provide that, same with governments now that religion is being questioned more and more and the individual is seen as the most important.

 

Answer: Good social order.

Sounds boring af

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14 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

Long Answer:

Because it's socially responsible, adds order to the community and provides society with some sort of moral compass.  Basically, it staves off chaos, anarchy and people living purely by emotion and their sexual desire.  And... We see how wonderful communities become when they start living off their primal urges = Chaos.

 

Unlike rabbits or other species of animals, insects, etc... Outside of war, disease, famine what is the orderly predation towards humans?  The check is to limit supply in a sane and orderly fashion

 

In short, the human world needs order, not emotion, chaos caused by primal urges. And religion has genuinely tried to provide that, same with governments now that religion is being questioned more and more and the individual is seen as the most important.

 

Answer: Good social order.

  If I had to guess the ancients including the contributors to the Bible knew that open infidelity often would lead to murder among other problems.  Society would be far more chaotic if cheating was very open and wide spread.

Edited by RochesterRob
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