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it has to be difficult to explain class to kids these days. i don't have any that I know of but the few times i have talked about it to my nieces and nephews is when we watch sports and when we see someone behaving poorly.

 

i've seen my sisters kids observe other children acting out of line in public. i never mention anything but watch them and their reactions to the other kids. some times they'll bring it up after about how that kid was crazy, or having a tantrum. i remind them to always remember we do not know what the situation was with that family but it is never polite to let your emotions get carried away.

 

my oldest nephew was 6 or 7 when the panthers lost the super bowl. having been born in charlotte he liked newton. we talked after the super bowl and he said he felt sad for newton. we had a good conversation about sportsmanship which is part of class.

 

in the past classy was demure. it was women like judy garland and all those folks. more recently it is more abstract. it is now classy to wear your social agenda of strong woman-hood on your head. it is now a sign of strength. in the past a man was classy when he smoked cigars and drank liquor as a night cap every night. now class is lost and grown men play xbox and wear rompers.

 

we used to board airlines in our sunday best. now we are famous for getting kicked off of airlines for leggins whilst flying on a guest pass, we get dragged screaming in non compliance off of an airplane.

 

it used to be folks worked hard all week to take their families to dinner friday night. now they go to walmart and buy the latest flip spinner or whatever that is called.

 

if i had to choose between being my !@#$ self and being what amounts to modern day classy than i would choose whatever type of !@#$ i am. i do care and i do attempt to come off well with others but its a lot of effort i generally just don't care to use in the town i live in which would get me no where.

 

[disclaimer - the only time you've met me BnIH is when i have been drunk. I am normally quite and polite.]

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someone will always be offended by something you do. There's no point in trying to be perfect

Yeah why even try.

 

I worked for a company that did corporate dining. Their motto was Only Perfect Will Do. I hated that. Sets everyone up for failure. I'd tell my staff Strive for Perfection

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someone will always be offended by something you do. There's no point in trying to be perfect

True... But let's not be defeatist. We used to read this poem to our children, I often revisit it from time to time. Robert Penn Warren: "Lullaby: Smile in Sleep"

 

http://voiceseducation.org/category/tag/lullaby-smile-sleep

 

Lullaby: Smile in Sleep

 

Sleep, my son, and smile in sleep.

You will dream the world anew.

Watching you now sleep,

I feel the world's depleted force renew,

Feel the nerve expand and knit,

Feel a rustle in the blood,

Feel wink of warmth and stir of spirit,

As though spring woke in the heart's cold Underwood.

The vernal work is now begun.

 

Sleep, my son.

Sleep, son.

You will see the nestling fall.

Blood flecks grass of the rabbit form.

You will, of course, see all

The world's brute ox-heel wrong, and shrewd hand-harm.

Throats are soft to invite the blade.

Truth invites the journalist's lie.

Love bestowed mourns trust betrayed,

But the heart most mourns its own infidelity.

The greater, then, your obligation.

Dream perfection.

Dream, son.

 

When the diver leaves the board

To hang at gleam-height against the sky,

Trajectory is toward

An image hung perfect as light in his mind's wide eye.

So your dream will later serve you.

So now, dreaming, you serve me,

And give our hope new patent to

Enfranchise human possibility.

Grace undreamed is grace forgone.

Dream grace, son.

Sleep on.

 

Dream that sleep is a sunlit meadow

Drowsy with a dream of bees

Threading sun, and a shadow

Where you may lie lulled by their sunlit industries.

Let the murmurous bees of sleep

Tread down honey in the honeycomb.

Heart-deep now, your dream will keep

Sweet in that deep comb for time to come.

Dream the sweetness coming on.

Dream, sweet son.

Sleep on.

 

What if angry vectors veer

Around your sleeping head, and form?

 

There's never need to fear

Violence of the poor world's abstract storm.

For now you dream Reality.

Matter groans to touch your hand.

Matter lifts now like the sea

Toward that strong moon that is your dream's command.

Dream the power coming on.

Dream, strong son.

Sleep on.

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Hey Boyst,

 

You make some good points and I agree that what's considered classy is changing. But I do think there are some things that are timeless (but less common these days):

 

Restraint

Humility

Congratulating someone for doing well

Self awareness

Sincerity

 

It's been awhile since we met, I think it was at the 2015 TBDHOT. Funny, I don't recall you being drunk, I'd call it "hospitable". As I recall you were discussing the pros and cons of Tinder with my kids. Even got my wife to try some of your 'shine.

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