cantankerous Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him. And during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said ...."Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree." Horrified Jane said,"Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground. "Here" she said, pointing to her privates. "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch! Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to grasp for air and screamed "What did you do that for?" Tarzan replied, "Check for squirrel." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanker Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 The Bills will never bring Richie Incognito back, and anyone who says so is blowing smoke out their arze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keukasmallies Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 It was 1:30 AM, and the bar closed at 2. I was sitting at the bar, and the only other person at the bar was a middle aged woman, maybe 45, kinda good looking, in the dim light, with plenty of make-up, and me with seven Jim Beam's on the rocks in my belly. I slipped into the stool next to hers, gave her my best salesman's smile and said "Hello". She smiled, and I had the bartender bring us both doubles. We made small talk, and as my hand rested upon her thigh she didn't pull away. When the bartender made last call, she acknowledged the bar was closing soon and asked me if I was up for a little mother-and-daughter action. I could hardly contain myself, this was my lucky day!! Sure I said, sure! I followed her directions as I drove her home, she had me hot as a pistol as we walked up the sidewalk and she opened the door. As we went inside she yelled "Mom, I got one"!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HereComesTheReignAgain Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Why do brides wear white? Because the dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove. 2 sperm are swimming along and one looks over to the other and says "man we've been swimming forever, are we anywhere near the uterus?" The other sperm replies "uterus!! we haven't even passed the esophagus yet!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 On an all new Ancient Aliens... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary M Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 How do you keep a moron in suspense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maury Ballstein Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GdBuYzfGrJA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I mean, it is a joke, right? http://bit.ly/1zqy2vj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 The real buffalo joe walks in to a bar and sees to women of his dreams standing in front of 2 bar stools. He walks over and ask if he can be helpful and push in there stool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Why can't the mommy pumpkin have any babies? Because the Daddy pumpin has a Halloweenie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 The Patriots don't cheat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Why can't the mommy pumpkin have any babies? Because the Daddy pumpin has a Halloweenie. I was born Halloween Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I was born Halloween Good joke. Do you have a halloweenie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 That is what the wife says Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 That is what the wife says Too much wine. Strong drink giveth the desire but taketh away the ability. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 How do you keep a moron in suspense? How? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Too much wine. Strong drink giveth the desire but taketh away the ability. that is why god gave everyone a mouth. Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 that is why god gave everyone a mouth. Lol I've got a drinking problem, man. One mouth and two hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumblefish Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 did you hear the one about the who the Bills just hired to be new HC, oh snap that a joke and a tragedy all in one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BUFFALOKIE Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 DC Tom. The end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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