Daughter wins lawsuit to force parents to pay for college

[\GoBillsInDallas/]

http://www.nj.com/camden/index.ssf/2014/11/divorced_nj_parents_ordered_to_pay_for_daughters_college_tuition.html

[KD in CA]

She's 21, so two people are being ordered to pay the bills of another legal adult.

 

This country gets scarier every day.

[boyst]

Makes me sick. How many students out there work in HS, full time jobs in college and more to support themselves?

 

My GF went thru hell with her mother growing up and her father did not earn enough to support her for college and pay alimony/child support, too. She worked in HS, lost it all because her mother took it from her. Worked full time in college, throughout and is still $100k in debt.

[DC Tom]

She's 21, so two people are being ordered to pay the bills of another legal adult.

 

This country gets scarier every day.

 

There seems to be a legal "philosophy" developing (I refuse to call it a principle, as it's hardly codified) that parents are still responsible for their adult children as their parents. I've seen it with some frequency, not limited to this or the ACA.

[Cugalabanza]

I'm taking this **** the other way! I'm suing my 3 year old for pain and suffering due to sleep deprivation and for emotional anguish resulting from her fits of screaming which undermine my personal sense of well-being and which has prevented me from achieving greater financial success and self-actualization.

[Chef Jim]

There seems to be a legal "philosophy" developing (I refuse to call it a principle, as it's hardly codified) that parents are still responsible for their adult children as their parents. I've seen it with some frequency, not limited to this or the ACA.

 

This may very well have been an error with how it was reported but the article says the court ruled that divorced parents are responsible for providing for the childs college education. What does their marital status have to do with it. The implications on this are huge.

[boyst]

I'm taking this **** the other way! I'm suing my 3 year old for pain and suffering due to sleep deprivation and for emotional anguish resulting from her fits of screaming which undermine my personal sense of well-being and which has prevented me from achieving greater financial success and self-actualization.

There is an Onion story in that situation somewhere.

[Security]

Good for her. I am glad she won. I hope every child like this wins a lawsuit.

 

Then maybe people will finally stop having kids when they cannot afford to have kids then.

 

Parents should do everything within their financial means to pay for college or give some type of assistance, it is the obligation of a parent.

 

The you are 18 now get of the house parents make me sick, selfish bastards. You have kids to try and give them the best chance in life to succeed, and you make sacrifices for them.

[Captain Hindsight]

Has to be more to this story. As a kid who got a ton of help from his parents, I feel blessed they helped, but know damn well they didn't have to

 

 

Maybe I'm just well adjusted

[ICanSleepWhenI'mDead]

This may very well have been an error with how it was reported but the article says the court ruled that divorced parents are responsible for providing for the childs college education. What does their marital status have to do with it. The implications on this are huge.

FWIW:

 

http://www.lauferknapp.com/Articles/Divorced-Parents-Responsibility-And-Financial-Obligation-Towards-Their-Children-s-College-Expenses.shtml

[Very wide right]

Good for her. I am glad she won. I hope every child like this wins a lawsuit.

 

Then maybe people will finally stop having kids when they cannot afford to have kids then.

 

Parents should do everything within their financial means to pay for college or give some type of assistance, it is the obligation of a parent.

 

The you are 18 now get of the house parents make me sick, selfish bastards. You have kids to try and give them the best chance in life to succeed, and you make sacrifices for them.

LOL,you ARE kidding right???

[Very wide right]

FWIW:

 

http://www.lauferkna...-Expenses.shtml

I read a story that a mans daughter that would have nothing to do with him sued him to pay for her education.Her dad divorced her mother years earlier and although he was initially forced to pay by the court he fought it and it was found in a later court that since married parents weren't forced to pay for college it was discrimination that he would have to so he won the case and didn't have to pay.After he patched things up with his daughter later he did voluntarily help her financially with college.

[KD in CA]

LOL,you ARE kidding right???

 

I see where he was trying to get to, but it was a poorly thought out argument.

 

No one is having or not having kids based on what may or may not happen in 18 years.

[DC Tom]

I see where he was trying to get to, but it was a poorly thought out argument.

 

No one is having or not having kids based on what may or may not happen in 18 years.

 

Oh, I can think of a couple people not having kids based on possibilities two decades hence...

[Very wide right]

Anytime a child brings a lawsuit against their parents it should also include an agreement that that same child has to agree to support their parents once they reach 70 years old.

[Fingon]

This is all the Federal Government's fault. When paying for college your parents income is considered part of yours until you reach 23 or 24. Mommy and Daddy make a bunch of money but won't help contribute? Sorry kid, but your yearly income is in the six figures and we can't give you any grants or subsidized loans.

[Very wide right]

This is all the Federal Government's fault. When paying for college your parents income is considered part of yours until you reach 23 or 24. Mommy and Daddy make a bunch of money but won't help contribute? Sorry kid, but your yearly income is in the six figures and we can't give you any grants or subsidized loans.

Just another example of hard working responsible people getting screwed and the slackers getting rewarded.

[rockpile]

Good for her. I am glad she won. I hope every child like this wins a lawsuit.

 

Then maybe people will finally stop having kids when they cannot afford to have kids then.

 

Parents should do everything within their financial means to pay for college or give some type of assistance, it is the obligation of a parent.

 

The you are 18 now get of the house parents make me sick, selfish bastards. You have kids to try and give them the best chance in life to succeed, and you make sacrifices for them.

 

As father of four fantastic adult 'children', I believe this has to be mutual.

 

Everybody wins.

Edited November 19, 2014 by rockpile

[BUNCH OF MULARKEY]

This is all the Federal Government's fault. When paying for college your parents income is considered part of yours until you reach 23 or 24. Mommy and Daddy make a bunch of money but won't help contribute? Sorry kid, but your yearly income is in the six figures and we can't give you any grants or subsidized loans.

This is exactly it and was the same 20 years ago when I was in school. Getting the big fat bill when working part time and going to school quickly sours the college ambitions.

And it doesn't always mean that the folks are cheap or make anywhere near six figures.

Parental contributions to a child's education should be verified and should be tax deductible to discourage cheating the system, and the student.

[Punching Bag]

Oh, I can think of a couple people not having kids based on possibilities two decades hence...

 

Your father and mother? Shame on them!

[Hazed and Amuzed]

Good for her. I am glad she won. I hope every child like this wins a lawsuit.

 

Then maybe people will finally stop having kids when they cannot afford to have kids then.

 

Parents should do everything within their financial means to pay for college or give some type of assistance, it is the obligation of a parent.

 

The you are 18 now get of the house parents make me sick, selfish bastards. You have kids to try and give them the best chance in life to succeed, and you make sacrifices for them.

 

Wow that's a great way to raise a self indulged and entitled adult brat. In my line of work I have literally seen or been in contact with hundreds if not thousands of adult children that fall under this category. Just yesterday I came worked with a 33 year old that's parents did everything they could for him financially, supported him, put him through school etc. the guy has had an amazing upbringing in regards to having his parents "do everything within their financial means to give him assistance".

 

Meanwhile because he's never had any real sense of financial responsibility through his 33 years on this earth he's spent all the money he's earned over the last 10 years on dope. Now he's in a halfway house, doesn't know how to look for a job, budget his money or even make his bed. That's right, this kid doesn't know how to make his bed at 33. I watched him struggle over how to do laundry for an hour because mommys been doing it all this time for him.

 

This is not a rare case, it's sooooooo freaking common you'd have trouble believing it.

 

My wife is a dual diagnosis family drug and alcohol therapist that does family restructuring at one of the top treatment centers in the country. You wouldn't believe how many times families who believe they're doing right by their kids are actually harming them. Most of the cases she takes on has a young adult who's parents thought they were doing right by the kid and in fact created an entitled brat with addiction problems instead. Her caseload is that of a social worker and I promise you that where she works isn't charity. Shes one of 6 therapists that works with about 20 new clients a month that are willing to pay 20,000 per month and this place doesn't accept insurance. Wrap your mind around that for a minute, that's just one of thousands of places like hers. This is not to say that families shouldn't help their kids with schooling, but it's not as blind or simple as that. We'd all like to believe that parents doing everything in their power to help their kids transition into adulthood is the right way, but that's not the way the world works anymore. This isn't the 50's. Parents should be doing everything within their power to raise a strong, independent, secure and self reliant child.

 

Sorry for the rant but again I see so many young adults that have parents that are killing them unknowingly. Out of all the young addicted adults I've worked with id say about 3/4 of the ones that actually make it have parents that have cut ties with them and offer zero financial support. Those are the strong ones.

 

I know of 5 kids that have OD in the last month or so, every one of them did it with their parents money. 2 of them had parents that had no idea that their kid was using his tuition money on dope.

 

Again this is just my experience, this is what I see. I know that there are many kids and parents that have a healthy relationship where the parent is helping support the child through school and it's working. I'm just typing what I've seen. And what I've seen is a lot of young men and women die because they were brought up without ever having the chance to learn to support themselves.

 

And before anyone says "well if I found out my kid was using their tuition money on dope I'd cut them off!" That's BS, not only do most parents not know until it's too late but if you've spent 20 years supporting someone you love you just don't turn it off. You continue trying to help, you may find a different way to help but you're still just doing the same old crap just in a different way. Maybe you pay tuition yourself or send your kid to a therapist but they'll call you and tell you that their doing well now and need a few bucks for food and boom, you're back to supporting someone that should be able to support themselves.

[dib]

If she flunks out or quits she should pay back the parents

[Buffalo Barbarian]

http://www.nj.com/ca...ge_tuition.html

 

more shameless kids

[Just Jack]

The fathers side of the story....

 

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/dad-speaks-out-after-21-year-old-sues-him-to-pay-104864515872.html

 

While I absolutely place blame on Caitlyn for this, the majority of it lies with her grandparents, who have fostered and even financed this debacle while she lives at their house. What kind of people encourage their granddaughter to sue her own parents…their son? Most days I am sad, even depressed, that something so private is now so public. It’s only when I’m home with my wife or coaching my basketball players that I feel like myself. My ex and I want to help our daughter, we want her to be successful in life, but we would also like to have some influence in her life.

[ExiledInIllinois]

"...Most nights before I fall asleep, I have tears in my eyes thinking about the difficulty my family is going through. My daughter is suing her mother and me for $16,000 towards college tuition, and a judge has ruled in her favor. My daughter moved out, and I only ever see her in court. It’s certainly not what I wanted for my family.

Every day I wake up and miss my daughter. I miss talking to her, seeing her, asking her about her day, and being involved in her life. I understand that after she was kicked out of her Disney internship, a program she participated in to help prepare for college, she was upset and angry at the rules her mother and I set for her. She was kicked out of the program for underage drinking, and so we had to set boundaries. That included chores, a curfew, and summer classes. When Caitlyn left our home in February 2013, to go to her grandparents, we thought we’d let her go for a couple days and then she would come home. When we called her grandparents to ask that they send her home, they said, “No, she can stay here as long as she wants.” That’s when we knew we had problems.

Maura and I have mutually parented Caitlyn her entire life. We’ve never before been that divorced couple that is in and out of court. We went to court only once — for our divorce. Although we may have disagreed at times, we always had Caitlyn’s best interests in mind. Always..."

 

"That divorced couple?" Then why get divorced? Sure blame the grandparents (not sure who's parent's), but the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

 

Maybe that's the problem... Mutually parented... Hmmmm...

[Just Jack]

Sure blame the grandparents (not sure who's parent's), but the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

 

Read what I quoted for the answer

[ExiledInIllinois]

Read what I quoted for the answer

 

Ooops... I missed it! It was his parents. I should have figured as much. He comes off as whiny. Wonder what the "personal demons" are with the parents? Especially the father. If there is any @ all. There are usually some.

Edited December 27, 2014 by ExiledInIllinois

[sullim4]

I completely agree that the kid should have to pay, and that the lawsuit is ridiculous, but let me play devil's advocate for a moment.

 

I have a friend/former co-worker (recently laid off) that's in the process of getting a divorce. They have a daughter that's a junior in high school; very smart kid. She will be applying to a number of fairly expensive schools next year (Stanford being one that I know of off the top of my head).

 

This guy's strategy to pay for college is to intentionally avoid getting a new job and collect unemployment until her FAFSA paperwork is processed by the feds and her prospective colleges next year. This is because the cost of attendance at a number of these universities is tied to the parents' income and ability to pay. If he doesn't work for a year, his stated income will plummet, and as a direct result, his daughter will now become eligible for all sorts of grants (not loans) that decrease the amount of tuition she will be paying. In the meantime, somewhat unrelated to the whole college deal, he sticks it to his (former) wife because he won't have to pay her a ton of his income.

 

The root of this problem is that colleges tie the tuition they charge to the parents' ability to pay, not the child's. They call it 'need-based aid' but it amounts to economic affirmative action. So, if a kid has a wealthy family, and that wealthy family doesn't pay any of the tuition cost because they're trying to teach their kid to be responsible... then that kid is going to get stuck with a huge loan bill at the end of their four years while 'economically disadvantaged' folks will get a significantly lower bill. This is basically what happened to my wife... she chose to go to an inexpensive, state school which dramatically decreased her tuition bills, but her parents literally paid for nothing related to her college. Hell her parents took out PLUS loans, which they were legally responsible for paying, and made her pay on those. She qualified for no aid since the cost of attendance was lower than some of the glitzier schools. She ended up $70k+ in debt; we just paid it off not too long ago.

 

I guess the point I am trying to make is that if this entire collegiate financial system is tied to the parent's ability to pay, then it isn't so outlandish to expect them to contribute something towards the kid's college. Of course, I disagree with the way the system is set up in the first place, since at the very least it inflates tuition to be much higher than it ever should be, but as the system currently is, it isn't that big a leap to expect the parents to pay something.