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I'll be eating nothing but lentils in 2011


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That's right, nothing but lentils. For one year. Wish me luck.

 

Here's the schpiel that I already posted on a facebook note.....

 

 

Hello friends, family, acquaintances,strangers, and enemies

 

 

 

I have some bizarre news. Starting at the beginning of 2011 on January 1, I will be embarking on a year-long journey, during which I will be eating nothing but plain medium green lentils. That's right...365 days of nothing but lentils. No recipes, no seasonings, nothing but plain prepared lentils (and a daily vitamin supplement to make sure I don't find myself dangerously low on any nutrient). Beginning tomorrow morning, I plan to eat nothing else until January 1, 2012. Originally, I planned on starting earlier than January 1, but for the sake of organization, why not bow to the Gregorian calendar as we always do?

 

So what's prompting this? Well, it began when I interviewed Chris Voight of the Washington State Potato Commission several weeks ago for a segment called Weird News on a radio show that I co-host with my friend Kyle. Chris put himself on a potatoes-only diet for two months, for the purpose of proving the health value of potatoes. We performed a follow up interview the other day and Chris had some very interesting things to say about the experience, which he completed successfully and happily.

 

So I thought to myself..."What if I tried this?". Now, unlike Mr. Voight, I have no particular association or relationship to lentils. Simply, they are the most suitable comestible for this type of experiment. Lentils contain an adequate amount of a number of specific nutrients, not to mention more complex carbohydrates, proteins, and fibers than I'd know what to do with. As I mentioned, I'll also be taking a supplement each morning to account for the nutrients the lentils lack.

 

As for why I plan on doing this, the reasons are four...

 

 

 

1. I believe in testing the limits of our human experience. Now, this isn't to suggest that solitary consumption of a nutritious food is some sort of torture. I'm well in tune with the fact that a good portion of the world would kill for such a diet. However, having been raised and developed in a way that stressed dietary variety, I believe it will be more than a significant test of my will and spirit.

 

 

 

2. I want to develop a deeper appreciation for the simple joys in life. Too often, good-tasting foods act as something of a petty treat as a substitute for true visceral experiences. In a way, I will be enhancing all other experiences by denying myself the most readily available of them. By introducing a high degree of blandness into my dietary life, I must seek thrills elsewhere. Sights, sounds, smells will all become more profound...at least, that's the plan.

 

 

 

3. We, as a society, have lost complete touch with the notion that the primary motivation for eating ought to be survival. By limiting myself to one food, I hope to personally reattain this notion.

 

 

 

4. I believe that one ought to do something absurd like this at least once in one's life, and embrace one's eccentricities instead of shunning them.

 

 

 

BONUS #5!

 

 

 

5. I'll save a ton of money.

 

 

 

So why a year? Why not a week, 2 weeks, a month? Well, I think a year is a happy medium. I don't think that I intend for this to be a permanent change, but I also want to allow myself a long enough time-frame in order for this to become an inherent part of my life, and not just something inside the context of an experiment. A year should be long enough for that.

 

 

 

Of course, there are many questions, concerns and doubts. What sorts of health risks do I pose here, being somebody not used to this type of diet? How will this affect me socially? What will the boredom do to me as I first grow accustomed to it? How bad will the cravings become? Well, stay tuned, I suppose...

 

 

 

Tomorrow, I begin with the lentils. I fully expect the little buggers to simultaneously become my greatest friends and most bitter enemies.

 

 

 

To those of you understandably wondering this...No, I have not gone off the reservation. I simply see this bizarre act as being potentially very beneficial to me.

 

 

 

Cheers everybody,

 

 

 

Alex Jay Sage

 

 

 

.

 

Oh, and by the way...

 

You're a !@#$ing idiot.

 

And I say that with the most constructive of intents. Because you deserve extremely to be taken to task for this...not because it's a selfish, idiotic stunt, but because you're claiming some sort of higher, enlightened meaning behind this selfish, idiotic stunt. "I want to develop a deeper appreciation for the simple joys in life." "We, as a society, have lost complete touch with the notion that the primary motivation for eating ought to be survival....I hope to personally reattain this notion." Yeah, okay, it's your personal goals...it's still a selfish, idiotic bull **** stunt. A completely empty gesture.

 

If you wanted it to be something other than a selfish, idiotic, empty bull **** stunt, you'd turn it into a charity drive for world hunger. I'd happily pledge a buck a day for each day you ate nothing but lentils.

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Oh, and by the way...

 

You're a !@#$ing idiot.

 

And I say that with the most constructive of intents. Because you deserve extremely to be taken to task for this...not because it's a selfish, idiotic stunt, but because you're claiming some sort of higher, enlightened meaning behind this selfish, idiotic stunt. "I want to develop a deeper appreciation for the simple joys in life." "We, as a society, have lost complete touch with the notion that the primary motivation for eating ought to be survival....I hope to personally reattain this notion." Yeah, okay, it's your personal goals...it's still a selfish, idiotic bull **** stunt. A completely empty gesture.

 

If you wanted it to be something other than a selfish, idiotic, empty bull **** stunt, you'd turn it into a charity drive for world hunger. I'd happily pledge a buck a day for each day you ate nothing but lentils.

 

Great, so you'll send him $2. How noble of you Mr. Gotrocks.

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Oh, and by the way...

 

You're a !@#$ing idiot.

 

And I say that with the most constructive of intents. Because you deserve extremely to be taken to task for this...not because it's a selfish, idiotic stunt, but because you're claiming some sort of higher, enlightened meaning behind this selfish, idiotic stunt. "I want to develop a deeper appreciation for the simple joys in life." "We, as a society, have lost complete touch with the notion that the primary motivation for eating ought to be survival....I hope to personally reattain this notion." Yeah, okay, it's your personal goals...it's still a selfish, idiotic bull **** stunt. A completely empty gesture.

 

If you wanted it to be something other than a selfish, idiotic, empty bull **** stunt, you'd turn it into a charity drive for world hunger. I'd happily pledge a buck a day for each day you ate nothing but lentils.

 

 

Ok, but first I should research how to affiliate my experiment with a known cause. I suppose I could simply promise "All proceeds go to _____" but that's a ****ty way to maximize returns. Most people would be too skeptical to just fork money over to me, and rightfully so.

 

I'm going to get on that.

 

Anyway, yes, it's rather insipid isn't it? In retrospect I shouldn't have made myself sound so high and mighty. In my defense, I wrote the original missive on a whim at 3 A.M. If you read the remainder of this thread (I don't expect you to), you'll notice that I toned down the grandiosity.

 

Still, I think it could be an interesting project for personal growth. And even better if I can manage to raise some money for those less fortunate! :)

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I was thinking probably more like $5.

 

We should start a pool, really.

 

You're talking death pool right?

 

Ok, but first I should research how to affiliate my experiment with a known cause. I suppose I could simply promise "All proceeds go to _____" but that's a ****ty way to maximize returns. Most people would be too skeptical to just fork money over to me, and rightfully so.

 

I'm going to get on that.

 

Anyway, yes, it's rather insipid isn't it? In retrospect I shouldn't have made myself sound so high and mighty. In my defense, I wrote the original missive on a whim at 3 A.M. If you read the remainder of this thread (I don't expect you to), you'll notice that I toned down the grandiosity.

 

Still, I think it could be an interesting project for personal growth. And even better if I can manage to raise some money for those less fortunate! :)

 

No what you should have done was waited until you were 6 months into this thing. Say to yourself, "!@#$, I can do another six months." THEN you start a thread about what you've done and how you'll be able to finish it. Never ever come here with some hair brained idea that will be almost impossible to accomplish because you will never, never live it down.

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Ok, but first I should research how to affiliate my experiment with a known cause. I suppose I could simply promise "All proceeds go to _____" but that's a ****ty way to maximize returns. Most people would be too skeptical to just fork money over to me, and rightfully so.

 

I'm going to get on that.

 

Anyway, yes, it's rather insipid isn't it? In retrospect I shouldn't have made myself sound so high and mighty. In my defense, I wrote the original missive on a whim at 3 A.M. If you read the remainder of this thread (I don't expect you to), you'll notice that I toned down the grandiosity.

 

Still, I think it could be an interesting project for personal growth. And even better if I can manage to raise some money for those less fortunate! :)

 

I noticed. But I gotta be me.

 

And like I said, I meant it constructively, you numbskull.

 

No what you should have done was waited until you were 6 months into this thing. Say to yourself, "!@#$, I can do another six months." THEN you start a thread about what you've done and how you'll be able to finish it. Never ever come here with some hair brained idea that will be almost impossible to accomplish because you will never, never live it down.

 

Oh, I'm sure he'll live it down. After all, it's not like I still think "stojan" when I type "****". And retatta and 3.5...we let those go pretty quickly, didn't we?

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