I'll be eating nothing but lentils in 2011

[SageAgainstTheMachine]

That's right, nothing but lentils. For one year. Wish me luck.

 

Here's the schpiel that I already posted on a facebook note.....

 

 

Hello friends, family, acquaintances,strangers, and enemies

 

 

 

I have some bizarre news. Starting at the beginning of 2011 on January 1, I will be embarking on a year-long journey, during which I will be eating nothing but plain medium green lentils. That's right...365 days of nothing but lentils. No recipes, no seasonings, nothing but plain prepared lentils (and a daily vitamin supplement to make sure I don't find myself dangerously low on any nutrient). Beginning tomorrow morning, I plan to eat nothing else until January 1, 2012. Originally, I planned on starting earlier than January 1, but for the sake of organization, why not bow to the Gregorian calendar as we always do?

 

So what's prompting this? Well, it began when I interviewed Chris Voight of the Washington State Potato Commission several weeks ago for a segment called Weird News on a radio show that I co-host with my friend Kyle. Chris put himself on a potatoes-only diet for two months, for the purpose of proving the health value of potatoes. We performed a follow up interview the other day and Chris had some very interesting things to say about the experience, which he completed successfully and happily.

 

So I thought to myself..."What if I tried this?". Now, unlike Mr. Voight, I have no particular association or relationship to lentils. Simply, they are the most suitable comestible for this type of experiment. Lentils contain an adequate amount of a number of specific nutrients, not to mention more complex carbohydrates, proteins, and fibers than I'd know what to do with. As I mentioned, I'll also be taking a supplement each morning to account for the nutrients the lentils lack.

 

As for why I plan on doing this, the reasons are four...

 

 

 

1. I believe in testing the limits of our human experience. Now, this isn't to suggest that solitary consumption of a nutritious food is some sort of torture. I'm well in tune with the fact that a good portion of the world would kill for such a diet. However, having been raised and developed in a way that stressed dietary variety, I believe it will be more than a significant test of my will and spirit.

 

 

 

2. I want to develop a deeper appreciation for the simple joys in life. Too often, good-tasting foods act as something of a petty treat as a substitute for true visceral experiences. In a way, I will be enhancing all other experiences by denying myself the most readily available of them. By introducing a high degree of blandness into my dietary life, I must seek thrills elsewhere. Sights, sounds, smells will all become more profound...at least, that's the plan.

 

 

 

3. We, as a society, have lost complete touch with the notion that the primary motivation for eating ought to be survival. By limiting myself to one food, I hope to personally reattain this notion.

 

 

 

4. I believe that one ought to do something absurd like this at least once in one's life, and embrace one's eccentricities instead of shunning them.

 

 

 

BONUS #5!

 

 

 

5. I'll save a ton of money.

 

 

 

So why a year? Why not a week, 2 weeks, a month? Well, I think a year is a happy medium. I don't think that I intend for this to be a permanent change, but I also want to allow myself a long enough time-frame in order for this to become an inherent part of my life, and not just something inside the context of an experiment. A year should be long enough for that.

 

 

 

Of course, there are many questions, concerns and doubts. What sorts of health risks do I pose here, being somebody not used to this type of diet? How will this affect me socially? What will the boredom do to me as I first grow accustomed to it? How bad will the cravings become? Well, stay tuned, I suppose...

 

 

 

Tomorrow, I begin with the lentils. I fully expect the little buggers to simultaneously become my greatest friends and most bitter enemies.

 

 

 

To those of you understandably wondering this...No, I have not gone off the reservation. I simply see this bizarre act as being potentially very beneficial to me.

 

 

 

Cheers everybody,

 

 

 

Alex Jay Sage

 

 

 

.

[LeviF]

Blah blah blah lentils lentils lentils

Sure smells like LAMP in here, Sage.

 

Edit: Also, dinner dates should be fun now. Guess you and whoever the lucky lady is will have to skip dinner.

Edited December 20, 2010 by LeviF91

[bills44]

Wow. I don't mind lentils, but I know that I couldn't eat any single food for anywhere near a month, let alone a year.

 

Good luck

[SageAgainstTheMachine]

Sure smells like LAMP in here, Sage.

 

Edit: Also, dinner dates should be fun now. Guess you and whoever the lucky lady is will have to skip dinner.

 

Oh, it's most definitely a LAMP.

 

But I figure, what's the point in pretending we're not all after attention? Of course, I'm trying this from the douchebaggy "Aren't I delightfully eccentric?" perspective.

Edited December 20, 2010 by SageAgainstTheMachine

[The Dean]

Up until now, I always thought of you as a rather intelligent person.

 

Will this impact your choice of beverages? Will you be going alcohol-free or are you developing some lentil-based intoxicant?

 

Well, as much as completely hate this idea (for so many reasons), at least it will keep you off the crayons.

[JoeFerguson]

Will you still consume calories in the beverage form? Are you going to stop drinking alcohol? Coffee?

[Jim in Anchorage]

Plan on some GREAT craps.

[Astrojanitor]

as a vegetarian lentils are a cornerstone of my diet. But if not for massive amounts of seasoning I would lose my mind from the pounds of lentils and chickpeas I put away year after year. Good luck man

[Jim in Anchorage]

Are not lentils a Bible thing?

[The Avenger]

I take it you never eat out? Heck, I'm on a diet and I find it hard to deal with situations where I travel and/or have to eat lunches/dinners at work - I have a whole lot more choice in what I can eat besides just plain lentils and I find it next to impossible sometimes.....

[SageAgainstTheMachine]

To those who asked, there are no beverage restrictions. In fact, a pound of lentils each day only accounts for about 1,000 calories, so it will probably be necessary. Is it in the spirit of the experiment? Who knows?

 

And yes, one concern is my social life, especially women. But I prefer those females who are a little bit...let's say...off, anyway haha.

[JoeFerguson]

To those who asked, there are no beverage restrictions. In fact, a pound of lentils each day only accounts for about 1,000 calories, so it will probably be necessary. Is it in the spirit of the experiment? Who knows?

 

And yes, one concern is my social life, especially women. But I prefer those females who are a little bit...let's say...off, anyway haha.

 

So you are only going to eat lentils but you can booze as much as you want?

[SageAgainstTheMachine]

For those who didn't feel like reading the entirety of the original post, I'll quickly explain the gestalt of my experiment here...

 

The utility of food is for survival. But for humans with means, it is a luxury...a beneficient shared experience of the human condition. Food fills something of a similar role in our culture to music, entertainment media, reading, etc. Something we indulge in.

 

But what if we stopped indulging? What if food was nothing more than the means to an end, like it is for the rest of the living world? Would the remainder of our human experiences become that much more significant? Well, I plan to check that out.

[JoeFerguson]

For those who didn't feel like reading the entirety of the original post, I'll quickly explain the gestalt of my experiment here...

 

The utility of food is for survival. But for humans with means, it is a luxury...a beneficient shared experience of the human condition. Food fills something of a similar role in our culture to music, entertainment media, reading, etc. Something we indulge in.

 

But what if we stopped indulging? What if food was nothing more than the means to an end, like it is for the rest of the living world? Would the remainder of our human experiences become that much more significant? Well, I plan to check that out.

 

So you're going to indulge on alcohol?

[SageAgainstTheMachine]

So you are only going to eat lentils but you can booze as much as you want?

 

Yes, but I don't see that happening all TOO much.

 

So you're going to indulge on alcohol?

 

Yes, that's partially the point. Ceasing to indulge on food, to see how I react differently to life's other indulgences

[The Dean]

For those who didn't feel like reading the entirety of the original post, I'll quickly explain the gestalt of my experiment here...

 

The utility of food is for survival. But for humans with means, it is a luxury...a beneficient shared experience of the human condition. Food fills something of a similar role in our culture to music, entertainment media, reading, etc. Something we indulge in.

 

But what if we stopped indulging? What if food was nothing more than the means to an end, like it is for the rest of the living world? Would the remainder of our human experiences become that much more significant? Well, I plan to check that out.

 

 

You aren't Italian, are you?

 

Good luck, my friend. I hope you find what you're looking for, irrespective of whether you it for the entire year.

[The Senator]

Does Cornell Dining even serve those?

 

(I hope you live off-campus, and alone.)

.

Edited December 20, 2010 by The Senator

[SageAgainstTheMachine]

Does Cornell Dining even serve those?

 

(I hope you live off-campus, and alone.)

.

 

Off campus, yes. Alone, no.

[The Poojer]

stay away from the south african lentils....

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tReRXVPNvc0

[....lybob]

Off campus, yes. Alone, no.

In my college days there was a period where I lived on lentils and egg noodles adding sometimes tuna, or frozen veggies - and for favor hot sauce, salsa, or pasta sauce- plain lentils? I give you a week at most, more likely 3 days.