The dogs once had a meeting, they came from far and near
They came in automobiles with a loud hurrah and cheer
But before upon the meeting they were allowed to look
They had to take their assh***s off and hang them on a hook.
Then in the hall they went at once, each mother, son and sire,
But barely were they seated when someone hollered "Fire!"
Then out they ran all in a rush, they had no time to look,
And each one grabbed an assh***s at random from the hook.
They got their assh***s all mixed up, it made them awful sore
To think they did not get the one they always had before.
And that's the reason why a dog will leave a nice, fat bone
To go and smell an assh***s in hopes he'll find his own.
I once heard John Valby recite this. I know he didn't write it.