Wacka

Written by Paul Schafer, Letterman's band director.

My 81 year old mother get along fine on her own. She doesn't drive at night anymore or go on the highway, but she goes to the doctor, shopping, and taking her 91 year old sister (who could still drive if her vision was better) around. She has osteoporosis, sciatica and arthritis and needs a cane a lot of the time. If she had to walk far at a place like Galleria Mall, she wouldn't go shopping. If you get to that age, being able to get around keeps you going. Hell, two weeks after she had an operation for appendicitis last summer, the doctor gave her a clean bill of health.

Solar- what happens on cloudy days? Wind- Animal wackos want us to shut down turbines because a few birds are too stupid to avoid them. Nukes- One nuke plant = Rhode Island covered with solar cells and the sun shining 24/7 We're all gonna fry! Coal- Harry Reid wants to stop building new coal plants and Bubba put the biggest low-sulfur coal deposit (Escalade Staircase NP) off limits so we would have to buy it from his Indonesian buddy Riaday What the hell do the libs suggest we use? We'll run everything on the Smug from the libs!

Is he talking about Barak Milhouse Obama or his car's finish?

How many Polish players? A real under represented minority.

Because everything wrong in the universe is Bush's fault. Get with the program!

My local paper today has a picture of the doddering old fool placing a wreath on the grave of Yassir Arafat.

I don't know philosophy, but got the beginning. I didn't understand the ending until I read the book. Its a thing with pieces of paper and lots of words in it.

That's what I keep telling my mother. She's 81 and can't walk long distances. When I am back visiting, I drive her around and she tells me to use it and park in the handicapped spot. I let her off at the door of the mall, etc and use a regular spot.

And this is news? A lib endorsing the most lib member of congress.

Far as I know Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura are not MDs, but PhDs.

I thought Cheektowaga had cornered the market on those.

Jimmy Carter is old and senile. And still as big an idiot as he was when he was in office.

Easy way to balance the budget: Molson Golden stupidity tax!

867-5309

Jim Carr: Hi, Jim Carr again. Denis, I know that some in our audience don't know the finer points of hockey. Could you tell them, for example, what is icing? Denis Lemieux: Well, um, icing happen when the puck come down, bang you know, before the other guys you know. Nobody there, you know. My arm go comes up then the game stop then start up. Jim Carr: I see. What is high-sticking? Denis Lemieux: High-sticking happen when the guy take the stick, you know, and he go like that [high-sticks Jim Carr] Denis Lemieux: you know. You don't do that. Jim Carr: You don't do that? Denis Lemieux: Oh no, never, never. Jim Carr: Why not? Denis Lemieux: Against the rules. You know, you're stupid when you do that. Just some English pig with no brains, you know. Jim Carr: Uh, what is slashing? Denis Lemieux: Slashing is um, like that [demonstrates on Jim Carr] Denis Lemieux: you know. Jim Carr: Mm-hmm. And there's a penalty for that? Denis Lemieux: Yeah and for the trip also, you know like that [demonstrates] Denis Lemieux: . And for hook like this [demonstrates] Denis Lemieux: . And for spear, you know, like that. [demonstrates] Denis Lemieux: You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes, by yourself, you know and you feel shame, you know. And then you get free.

Poland has the strongest booze you can legally buy- vodka that is something like 185-187 proof! (190 is the purest you can distill drinkable alcohol. To distill pure alcohol you need to add benzene or some other nasty stuff.

Love watching Hillary and Obama taking turns shooting themselves in the foot.

Was already an adult when the card craze hit. A friend collected football cards. He had two complete sets of 1981(?) with Joe Montana's rookie card. The thing was to get out before the prices crashed. He used his sets to pay the lawyer for his divorce. No, it wasn't over cards. The skank he married cheated on him and told him about it on the day after Xmas.

I laughed my ass off at the drawing the cop did. It was like a picture a kid would draw. I was wondering what they were going to be allowed to show. I had a great laugh. I also was amazed they allowed the singing penis. Not funny but surprised. Someone who didn't see the episode is probably asking "What the F are they talking about.?".

That or he finally sobered up.

I thought that was Korea. The route they were supposed to take was totally clogged with people. There would have been a riot. The route they moved it to was actually some of the streets I had to drive, but I was there about an hour before the torch came through. Got paid mostly for driving. This was an update on a job I did last month. Drove 50 mile there spent 15 minutes at the site and drove 50 miles home. Took about 3 hours total.

Done by the liberal god FDR.

You obviously don't live out west. They forget that Mexico sold the US the land. I see ads for a Spanish radio station "La Raza" 95.9. La Raza= The Race. If a station played all heavy metal and called itself the race, there would be riots.

Loved Mr. Garrison describing his penis to the sketch artist and having the artist draw Mickey Mouse with an enormous boner! Also loved all the Belicheat references.