This is how my weekend started

[Soda Popinski]

you just have to keep asking them.    Every 30 minutes.  My boy would swear up and down he didn't have to go.....ok well let's go try just in case, and he would pee like a racehorse.   or drop a full load.   Yeah, sure you didn't have to go.. that's why you just had a blowout and destroyed the Carrabba's bathroom.   

[teef]

7 minutes ago, Soda Popinski said:

you just have to keep asking them.    Every 30 minutes.  My boy would swear up and down he didn't have to go.....ok well let's go try just in case, and he would pee like a racehorse.   or drop a full load.   Yeah, sure you didn't have to go.. that's why you just had a blowout and destroyed the Carrabba's bathroom.   

that's what we do.  it's not so much timed, but if you're going in the car, going outside, before bed, etc.  we force that ****, and she always goes.

[Soda Popinski]

Just now, teef said:

that's what we do.  it's not so much timed, but if you're going in the car, going outside, before bed, etc.  we force that ****, and she always goes.

My daughter was MUCH easier.  She wanted to wear big girl undies like mommy at a very early age. The boy, he didn't seem to mind sitting in a deuce.

[teef]

Just now, Soda Popinski said:

My daughter was MUCH easier.  She wanted to wear big girl undies like mommy at a very early age. The boy, he didn't seem to mind sitting in a deuce.

ours is pretty easy too.  we use the good kind of peer pressure letting her know she should wear the big girl underwear like her cousins.  the only time we're still in a diaper is at night.  she's perfect all day, but in the morning, you'd think someone dunked her diaper in water it's so soaked.

[Soda Popinski]

1 minute ago, teef said:

ours is pretty easy too.  we use the good kind of peer pressure letting her know she should wear the big girl underwear like her cousins.  the only time we're still in a diaper is at night.  she's perfect all day, but in the morning, you'd think someone dunked her diaper in water it's so soaked.

This is the kind of fun stuff that when the wife says " I miss the kids being little" I always reply NOT ME!    She's out of the house in college, he's in high school playing football, we're on the back 9 of parenting why the hell would I want to go back to diapers and preschool?   those were tough times.  

[teef]

1 minute ago, Soda Popinski said:

This is the kind of fun stuff that when the wife says " I miss the kids being little" I always reply NOT ME!    She's out of the house in college, he's in high school playing football, we're on the back 9 of parenting why the hell would I want to go back to diapers and preschool?   those were tough times.  

i'll be 55 when my kids are at that point in life.  i don't know why i decided to do this as late as i did.  

[Soda Popinski]

1 minute ago, teef said:

i'll be 55 when my kids are at that point in life.  i don't know why i decided to do this as late as i did.  

I imagine it's easier for you being older.  I was 24 when the boy was born and I was 20 when my wife and I got together and my daughter was 2.    We weren't ready, hell we were kids.    

 

But now, I'll be 43 and hopefully have both kids out of the house.   I told the wife we're not going to know what to do with each other.  no more football practice, games, no more anything.   Hunting and fishing...sounds pretty ******** good to me!!!

[Royale with Cheese]

9 minutes ago, teef said:

i'll be 55 when my kids are at that point in life.  i don't know why i decided to do this as late as i did.  

 

A guy that I played football with in HS was a year below me....his daughter just graduated and is heading to college in a few weeks.

He's 35.

[LeGOATski]

52 minutes ago, Jauronimo said:

Just because your kids have better sphincter control (for now) does not mean you're a better parent. 

It absolutely does.

[teef]

1 hour ago, Soda Popinski said:

I imagine it's easier for you being older.  I was 24 when the boy was born and I was 20 when my wife and I got together and my daughter was 2.    We weren't ready, hell we were kids.    

 

But now, I'll be 43 and hopefully have both kids out of the house.   I told the wife we're not going to know what to do with each other.  no more football practice, games, no more anything.   Hunting and fishing...sounds pretty ******** good to me!!!

i'll give you credit.  i would have been such an awful father at that age.  the fact that you have your kids doing so well is a testament to you and your wife.  think about all the free time you'll have soon.  you can go to lunch, have a bunch of drinks, then come home and nap it off.  the thought of something that simple excites me.

1 hour ago, Royale with Cheese said:

 

A guy that I played football with in HS was a year below me....his daughter just graduated and is heading to college in a few weeks.

He's 35.

that's way too much in the other direction.  i'm sure the guy didn't want his life going in that direction, but ****.

[Soda Popinski]

1 minute ago, teef said:

i'll give you credit.  i would have been such an awful father at that age.  the fact that you have your kids doing so well is a testament to you and your wife.  think about all the free time you'll have soon.  you can go to lunch, have a bunch of drinks, then come home and nap it off.  the thought of something that simple excites me.

that's way too much in the other direction.  i'm sure the guy didn't want his life going in that direction, but ****.

We gave up our 20s and 30s but hopefully our 40s and 50s will be worth it.  We actually went to brunch the other day, 10 am bloody marys and Cheasapeake bennedict.   Then we wento to a micro brewery around 1200 and had a pint.   It was glorious.  Got home, and did my best impression of a pool float for 2 hours.   

 

God forbid we have grandkids in the next few years. Not that I'll mind terribly but I'm nowhere ready.   

[teef]

6 minutes ago, Soda Popinski said:

We gave up our 20s and 30s but hopefully our 40s and 50s will be worth it.  We actually went to brunch the other day, 10 am bloody marys and Cheasapeake bennedict.   Then we wento to a micro brewery around 1200 and had a pint.   It was glorious.  Got home, and did my best impression of a pool float for 2 hours.   

 

God forbid we have grandkids in the next few years. Not that I'll mind terribly but I'm nowhere ready.   

that could be what ruins you.  you'd love it, but my wife and her sister abuse grandma and grandpa babysitter.  you need some time with zero worries.

[Soda Popinski]

Just now, teef said:

that could be what ruins you.  you'd love it, but my wife and her sister abuse grandma and grandpa babysitter.  you need some time with zero worries.

Well the daughter is probably going to stay in south FL that's where she has a great job opportunity.   We're 210 miles away.  But I can already see the wife selling the house now to move closer.    

 

She knows my conditions.   Not closer than 35 minutes away.  And within 15 miles of a good boat ramp on the inter coastal.  If Gpa is gonna live nearby, Gpa's gonna have an offshore fishing boat     

[Pine Barrens Mafia]

2 hours ago, Soda Popinski said:

This is the kind of fun stuff that when the wife says " I miss the kids being little" I always reply NOT ME!    She's out of the house in college, he's in high school playing football, we're on the back 9 of parenting why the hell would I want to go back to diapers and preschool?   those were tough times.  

 

I always tell parents of young children this truism:

 

Little kids, little problems.

 

Big Kids, BIG problems.

 

I've learned this lesson the hard way.

 

 

[Soda Popinski]

1 minute ago, joesixpack said:

 

I always tell parents of young children this truism:

 

Little kids, little problems.

 

Big Kids, BIG problems.

 

I've learned this lesson the hard way.

 

 

Ehh, I haven't found that to be 100% true.  I mean when my daughter was in high school and went through the phazes yea, that was tough.   It was really tough.  But her moving off to college was the best thing that could have happened.  She's really impressed me.  Working 40hrs a week, school fulltime, and her and her BF have an apartment.   I remember the wife and her were both terrified to tell me she was moving in with him.  I shocked them both.   I didn't care as long as she was mature, and she's proved that 100 times over.  

 

The boy, hell all he wants to do is play COD or whatever other shoot em up game he has on Xbox 1.     He likes to hunt/fish with me and we went scalloping last Saturday.     I haven't had much in the way of big problems with him at all.  He's ostracized at school because all his buddies drink and smoke weed and he won't.    So he doesn't hang out with anyone outside of school. kind of sucks but he sticks to his principles.  

[Pine Barrens Mafia]

3 minutes ago, Soda Popinski said:

Ehh, I haven't found that to be 100% true.  I mean when my daughter was in high school and went through the phazes yea, that was tough.   It was really tough.  But her moving off to college was the best thing that could have happened.  She's really impressed me.  Working 40hrs a week, school fulltime, and her and her BF have an apartment.   I remember the wife and her were both terrified to tell me she was moving in with him.  I shocked them both.   I didn't care as long as she was mature, and she's proved that 100 times over.  

 

The boy, hell all he wants to do is play COD or whatever other shoot em up game he has on Xbox 1.     He likes to hunt/fish with me and we went scalloping last Saturday.     I haven't had much in the way of big problems with him at all.  He's ostracized at school because all his buddies drink and smoke weed and he won't.    So he doesn't hang out with anyone outside of school. kind of sucks but he sticks to his principles.  

 

Yeah, I have a soon to be 15 year old daughter. Girls are rough at this age.

ages 6-8 was the sweet spot. I'm hoping it gets easier later.

 

Edited July 18, 2018 by joesixpack

[Augie]

1 hour ago, LeGOATski said:

It absolutely does.

 

How does it feel to be so “sphincter-centric”? 

[Soda Popinski]

1 minute ago, joesixpack said:

 

Yeah, I have a soon to be 15 year old daughter. Girls are rough at this age.

 

ages 6-8 was the sweet spot. I'm hoping it gets easier later.

 

Man it does, but at 15 you can't tell her anything.   It's just a waste of breath.   She hung out with kids who did bad stuff, but her grades never slipped.  They want to take bad friends and reform them, that's not how it works, the bad kids drag them down.  But you can't tell them that they have to discover it for themselves.    I know how frustrating that is, but once they figure it out, and they get their heads on straight it's like a 1000lb weight off your shoulders.  

[Pine Barrens Mafia]

Just now, Soda Popinski said:

Man it does, but at 15 you can't tell her anything.   It's just a waste of breath.   She hung out with kids who did bad stuff, but her grades never slipped.  They want to take bad friends and reform them, that's not how it works, the bad kids drag them down.  But you can't tell them that they have to discover it for themselves.    I know how frustrating that is, but once they figure it out, and they get their heads on straight it's like a 1000lb weight off your shoulders.  

 

My fiance is now a great-aunt, and the arrival of a baby has spurred the "i want a baby" talk. Me: Yeah, no.

 

 

 

[Soda Popinski]

Just now, joesixpack said:

 

My fiance is now a great-aunt, and the arrival of a baby has spurred the "i want a baby" talk. Me: Yeah, no.

 

 

 

Hell no!   I got fixed in October 2002, my son was born that June.   My parents had 6, not in this lifetime.   Not at 40.   I couldn't survive.  have her babysit.   That usually wears em out.  

[Pine Barrens Mafia]

Just now, Soda Popinski said:

Hell no!   I got fixed in October 2002, my son was born that June.   My parents had 6, not in this lifetime.   Not at 40.   I couldn't survive.  have her babysit.   That usually wears em out.  

 

40? I'm 45

taking care of a baby would be the death of me, quite literally I'm sure.

 

[Augie]

I’m in Nashville playing. I’ve already opened an adult beverage, and I’m about to Uber into town. If I see a slide.....I can’t make any promises! 

[Soda Popinski]

2 minutes ago, Augie said:

I’m in Nashville playing. I’ve already opened an adult beverage, and I’m about to Uber into town. If I see a slide.....I can’t make any promises! 

careful, that Nashville hot chicken causes mud butt.   Don't trust  a fart 

[Augie]

3 minutes ago, Soda Popinski said:

careful, that Nashville hot chicken causes mud butt.   Don't trust  a fart 

 

I’ve learned to be cautious at all times, but thanks for the warning! 

[Augie]

 

 

TIL.  -     Uber does not recognize “poop slide”. At least in the Nashville area. If you happen to live in Gary, IN or a few other spots, you may have different results. 

[Cripple Creek]

2 hours ago, Soda Popinski said:

careful, that Nashville hot chicken causes mud butt.   Don't trust  a fart 

Do not do hot chicken biscuits for breakfast. They are rough on an empty stomach.

 

But, if you do go to Biscuit Love.

[LeGOATski]

4 hours ago, Augie said:

 

How does it feel to be so “sphincter-centric”? 

It's just a small part of the hole mind, body and spirit philosophy.

[Gray Beard]

1 minute ago, LeGOATski said:

It's just a small part of the hole mind, body and spirit philosophy.

The sphincter helps to control a hole in your body, but how does it help with the holes in your mind and spirit?

[Augie]

2 minutes ago, LeGOATski said:

It's just a small part of the hole mind, body and spirit philosophy.

 

Again, the “hole’ seems to be front and center in your ‘whole” philosophy. It seems to be your bullseye!   ?

[LeGOATski]

Think of it as an analogy to the process of clearing your head.

3 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

Again, the “hole’ seems to be front and center in your ‘whole” philosophy. It seems to be your bullseye!   ?

You're catching on

[Ice bowl 67]

On July 14, 2018 at 8:29 AM, Royale with Cheese said:

After work Friday, my wife and I took my 3 year old to Chick Fil A as a reward for not having any accidents that week at school.  He’s potty training right now so it was kinda a big deal.

 

Anyway, he’s playing on the playground with a few other kids.  He goes down the slide and when he gets to the bottom, he says “uh oh”.

I see a brown streak running down his leg.  He has diarrhea and when he went down the slide, he spread the “liquid” down the tunnel.

 

About a 5 year old girl slides down right after him.  When she gets to the bottom, her back and back of hair is covered.  I was mortified.

 

Other kids notice and tell their parents.  My wife grabs up my son, takes him to the bathroom.  The other mother with the daughter covered in fecal matter, heads to the bathroom too.  She’s washing her hair in the sink cursing up a storm.  My wife is so embarrassed, she stays in the stall until that mother leaves....which took like 15-20 minuets.

 

I was waiting outside of the bathroom waiting for my wife to finish cleaning and leave.  I find out listening to the other parents talking about the incident....it was that girls birthday.  On her birthday, she slid down a slide of ****.

That's hilarious. 

[Nanker]

On 7/14/2018 at 8:29 AM, Royale with Cheese said:

After work Friday, my wife and I took my 3 year old to Chick Fil A as a reward for not having any accidents that week at school.  He’s potty training right now so it was kinda a big deal.

 

Anyway, he’s playing on the playground with a few other kids.  He goes down the slide and when he gets to the bottom, he says “uh oh”.

I see a brown streak running down his leg.  He has diarrhea and when he went down the slide, he spread the “liquid” down the tunnel.

 

About a 5 year old girl slides down right after him.  When she gets to the bottom, her back and back of hair is covered.  I was mortified.

 

Other kids notice and tell their parents.  My wife grabs up my son, takes him to the bathroom.  The other mother with the daughter covered in fecal matter, heads to the bathroom too.  She’s washing her hair in the sink cursing up a storm.  My wife is so embarrassed, she stays in the stall until that mother leaves....which took like 15-20 minuets.

 

I was waiting outside of the bathroom waiting for my wife to finish cleaning and leave.  I find out listening to the other parents talking about the incident....it was that girls birthday.  On her birthday, she slid down a slide of ****.

Let this forever be known here as giving someone a Royale with Cheese.

[Augie]

On 7/20/2018 at 10:49 PM, Nanker said:

Let this forever be known here as giving someone a Royale with Cheese.

 

It’s the “special sauce” that makes the story.    ?

[ExiledInIllinois]

"Welcome to the real world", she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat
Take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding
Up my sleeve"

 

That's pretty bad Royale... I thought changing my son's diaper @ 35k feet on the floor @ the bulkhead of a crowded Southwest flight was pretty tense...

 

 

[Cripple Creek]

This thread went in the shitter days ago. Please, let it die.

[Just Jack]

On ‎7‎/‎18‎/‎2018 at 12:17 PM, teef said:

i'll be 55 when my kids are at that point in life.  i don't know why i decided to do this as late as i did.  

 

One of my friends in High School, he was the youngest of 4 in his family. Both his parents had already retired by time we were seniors.