Jauronimo

The right time to take your kids to the game is a personal question. I think it really depends on how much your children drink. My 14 year old doesn't touch the sauce so he's not ready yet, but my 12 year old can toss them back with most 16 year olds so he's in.

I don't think I can go back to Vegas. Our group of dudes got one little taste of the suite and table life and from that point on, waiting in lines for GA entrance to a club was considered an option on par with sucking off every guy on the strip to get into the club. Offensive. The combination of alcohol, other stuff, and beautiful women everywhere had me utterly convinced that this was my life from now on. Champagne wishes and caviar dreams. 4 days later I checked my credit card statement and it was Natty light wimpers and bologna sammich nightmares.

Dizzy bat is big. Whats your handicap?

Duke has weak dick game. Everyone knows that. Mia only accepting offers from A1 dick game or better.

Craft cocktail bars are everywhere. Typically, in a speakeasy concept which gives hipster "mixologists" an excuse to wear fedoras and grow ridiculous moustaches like its 1926. Tequila bars are the current trend. Tequila cocktails or tequila infused with a million other flavors. My guess, mezcal bars will be the next big craze.

The craft cocktail movement has really upped the price points. Sometimes its worth it, but now every half assed barkeep in Rochester fancies themselves a mixologist with license to charge $12 per drink regardless of quality.

How are you consistently managing to quote a previous post, add nothing, then actually reply to that quoted post with your thoughts 3 to 5 messages downstream? How?

Do it in every thread. Repeat as often as possible.

The nearest proxy to pursuing a career in car accidents would likely be professional football.

Get him the key to the city stat. How much pepperoni do we need to spell "Welcome Anquan!"?

Silver lining to yesterday's tragedy. Welcome Anquan and RIP Sammy.

Cliff Notes by Sweats "This Dickens classic is about a municipality experiencing the best of times." - Tale of Two Cities "A seafaring man with no time for text messages says 'call me'" - Moby Dick Mods, please change the title to "Watkins is hurt - UPDATE: deceased".

Of the autopsy? Its pretty cut and dry. Complications due to ankle discomfort.

Speaking ill of the dead is classless. Show some f@#$ing respect!! If I was Sammy I'd haunt the crap out of your house.

Pat Moran @PatMoran 6m Bills QB Tyrod Taylor in stable condition after injuring left leg in practice. He is expected to survive.

Seriously. That's why my wife and I decided to have outdoor babies. Saves so much money.

His family will be in my prayers tonight. RIP Sammy.

Pat Moran @:PatMoran 5m Sammy Watkins has passed away at the age of 25 following a brief but valiant battle with ankle discomfort. RIP @SammyWatkins. #BetMyKidsLifeOnIt

Spaghetti is straight until it gets all wet and hot and you're definitely all fired up.

You remember that Surgeon General's warning on football helmets from the 80s?? "WARNING: Participation in this activity has been linked to CTE and brain damage!"

They can cook, but don't ask them to do the dishes.

How many yards did Gilly average when he was thrust into the starting role while McCoy was out?

Its not as far out or crunchy as the People's Republic of Austin, but Houston is pretty decent for those of us who need jobs to fund our lifestyles. The cost of living is dirt cheap and its the second biggest money center in the country. Not all of us get to be hippy socialites living off fat trust funds like the new crop of Austinites.

As much as it takes.

Its the worst kept secret in sports. Everyone knows El Pegual slipped one past Goodell but at this point, there isn't much the league can do.