DC Tom Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Some time around May 13th Paul Lewczyk, known to most of you as Ghost of BiB, took his own life. As many of us know, Paul was devastated by the loss of his wife Darlene two years ago this month and despite the support of friends, including many of us here, was never able to move past the loss. Paul was a friend of mine and my wife's; we often got together for football, or dinner, to shoot pool, the occasional baseball game...we knew him as not a perfect man, but a good man, with a genuinely caring soul, and someone who was geniunely humble, yet intelligent and talented (he was no slouch on the guitar by any means, and quite a good cook). Over the past few years we and others had done everything we could to help him come to terms with the tragedy he sufferred, and now ourselves have to come to terms with his death, reconciling all we did, could do, and could think to do for him with the guilt that we couldn't somehow do more, a guilt that's inevitable and perfectly natural when someone takes their own life. Those of us left to grieve are invariably left asking why Paul would do this. Clinically speaking, studies have shown that the "why" of suicide almost universally reduce to one thing: poor impulse control caused by the biochemical changes inherent in a depressed mind. As such, the "why" of Paul's action is fundamentally irrelevent: "why" ultimately amounts to trying not to understand the rationale behind a decision, but literally the lack of any rationale behind the lack of a decision...to understand a mind so physically affected by grief and loss that it was functionally unable to decide against the impulse for self-destruction. To ask "why" is to ask not why someone chooses death, but why someone fails to choose life; to ask what drives a mind to the point where the distinction becomes so blurred as to be irrelevent. In this case, there can be only one answer. Paul Lewczyk is dead because he loved his wife. And a better epitaph, a man could hardly ask for. Goodbye, friend. ----------------------------------------------- Information as to funeral or memorial services, I do not yet have, sorry. As I get information, I will be sure to share it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark VI Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 RIP Paul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gross Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Hopefully now Paul sees how many people he touched, and how many truly care. God bless Paul. You will be missed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thailog80 Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Goodbye my friend. Tequila wings will never be the same without you. I know you're where you wanted to be. But I selfishly must say I wish you were still with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kegtapr Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 God Bless, Paul. You'll be missed by many. Paul once sent this to me.....I think it's only fitting that I now send this back to Paul. Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings; Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth Of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there, I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung My eager craft through footless halls of air. . . . Up, up the long, delirious burning blue I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace Where never lark, or ever eagle flew — And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod The high untrespassed sanctity of space, Put out my hand, and touched the face of God. — John Gillespie Magee, Jr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Adams Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 I only knew Paul as a fellow poster, often as a foil, but I never had ill will for him, nor felt any from him. I hope he found peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRC Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 RIP friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuntheDamnBall Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 I am so sorry to hear this. Eloquently stated, DC Tom. Though I didn't know him aside from his pretty wise postings, his loss here will really be felt Echoing Dan: you will be missed, Paul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly the Dog Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Goodbye, friend. Thanks, DC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 RIP Paul. To the best friend I never met. I will raise a glass of my finest to you and my next gourmet dinner will be in memory of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 RIP, Paul. I hope you found what you're looking for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cåblelady Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 "His magical myth As strong as with I believe A tragedy with More damage than a soul should see....." R.I.P. Paul. I will always love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Rest in Peace, Paul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GG Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 RIP big fella. Thanks for being you and making the difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous Guy Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers and cities; but to know someone who thinks and feels with us, and who, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden -Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe RIP Paul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 May you rest in the arms of your beloved wife, you will be missed Paul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. Rich Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 I've met so many people from this board that I consider friends, and then there are those who are like family to me. Paul definitely qualified as family for so many reasons. I still can't believe he's gone and will miss him. Rest in peace, Paul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven in MD Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 DC Tom said it best as to why people commit suicide. Unfortunately I am learning about suicide from my girlfriend whose lost her mother to suicide. She takes it very seriously and will actually be doing an out of the darkness work for suicide prevention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 We have lost a good man. RIP Paul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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