Frez Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 My son who is 8 years old has a bit of a problem with his 3rd grade teacher. First let me tell you about my boy. He's an outgoing, rough playing lots of friends type of kid. He's never been fearful of school until now. Here's the problem, he comes home from school with a tear in his eye saying how much his 3rd grade teacher yells at the class. He eats dinner at night with tears in his eyes worrying about school the next day. He goes to bed at night and wakes in the morning with tears in his eyes worrying about his teacher yelling and screaming. This teacher has been teaching for at least 30 years. She has always taught the older children until now. Now she is teaching the 3rd graders. I was worried from the start that the younger kids would fear her. She has always been known to be a screamer and many children have had problems with her in the past. My question is what do I do first? Do I go right to the principal and ask for my son to be in a different classroom or do I go see the teacher first? I just don't think the teacher is going to change now for my son. My son does not respond to screaming teachers. I feel it would be best for him to have another teacher. I would like to hear your thoughts please. Thanks Frez Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art in PNS Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Parent teacher first , then based on your assessment of that discussion you either give it time or go directly to the principal. Good teachers at this age can captivate children, bad ones can have a detrimental affect for years . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njsue Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Go to the principle, then go to the board of education and file a complaint. I had a creep for a first grade teacher. What she used to do to the not so rich kids. She shoved my friend Susan Sieleckia in a closet cause she had a problem adding. My mother and other mothers took it to the board. Surely this whale was fired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Maybe you should talk to the other parents first. From what I know of teachers or administrators, they are likely to dismiss the concerns of any one parent. You will have a higher chance at addressing the problem if a group of parents confronts the principal or the Superintendent's office. If this teacher has been around a while, than her style should be well known to the school, but you should let them know if her style is causing that level of discomfort in your child (and likely other children as well). Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 I would go directly to the principal so, that in case the switch cannot be made for some reason, the teacher may not know about your request and harbor ill will towards your boy for the rest of the year. Not seeing the teacher will also prevent the overwhelming temptation to beat her with a large stick. If the principal is unwilling/incapable of doing anything, only then would I go in and do my very best to have a friendly, honest, congenial meeting with the overbearing shrew. If the problem continues after that I would go in and tell her very quietly that from now on every single day that your boy comes home in tears, you are going to show up at her home screaming like a wildman to see how she likes it. Cya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 I would check with the other parents first, see if they are having the same responses from their kids. If you have a group of parents who present the same case, they could reassign the teacher. If your guy is the only one affected then I would check with the Principal about changing teachers for your guy. In either event I would go through the principal first, but try to get a consensus of the other parents first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frez Posted September 15, 2004 Author Share Posted September 15, 2004 one example- Little "Johnny" was writing a paper in her class, she came by and looked at it and then crumbled it up on his desk and told him it was not neat enough. My son said the kid put his head down on the desk and cried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Go to the principle, then go to the board of education and file a complaint. I had a creep for a first grade teacher. What she used to do to the not so rich kids. She shoved my friend Susan Sieleckia in a closet cause she had a problem adding. My mother and other mothers took it to the board. Surely this whale was fired. 31571[/snapback] True story.....when my oldest brother was in first grade, the nasty old nun (Catholic school in the 60s of course) sat the kids according to how "smart" they were (how she determined that is anyone's guess). Smartest kid sat in the first seat of the first row...second smartest in the next seat and so on. My brother was put in the dumb row (in the back). Unfrigginbelievable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njsue Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Send your wife to kick her ass. Yeah that works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Well, there is your first parent, get on the phone... This teacher may be able to get away with this with 7-th graders, but with the younger ones it won't cut it. Call some of the parents get a controlled argument for her reassignment, and then present your argument to the principle or board. Keep the pitchforks in the car for the first meeting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takeo_14 Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 FREZ- I had the same problem when i was in 4th grade. I had my parents go and talk with the teacher with me. Then with the intention that if things were not better we were going to go to the principal and then to the priest/school board. It stopped and she changed her attitude and the way she taught. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tux of Borg Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 To put it in a military term... use the chain of command. Go in and talk to the teacher about it first. If that doesn't resolve the issue then go higher. If you go straight to the board of education, chances are you will piss off the principal and teacher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live&DieBillsFootball Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 If it was me, I would go to the principal and have my kid switched. It sounds like the teacher is too old to change her style. Also, by talking to other parents, they may beat you to switching teachers and your kid may be stuck. Tell the principal all of your reasons to switch and don't take no for an answer. They might try to talk you into giving the teacher another chance. Your kid comes FIRST! Get him out of that environment before you go postal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven in MD Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Is the yelling directed at your son? Or the class in general? If it is at your son, then find out what he is doing wrong, and fix it so she stops yelling. If she yells at the class in general, and not to a specific kid, have your kids suck it up. Actually, I find most public schools to be nonresponsive to parents. They dismiss all concerns as if it is your childs issue, and not the school or teacher. My experience with a private is slightly better, but still not very good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarthur31 Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Get some boxing gloves. The principal will stick w/ the teacher. Talk to other parents and see if you can lodge a group complaint, then take it to the Superintendent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvbills Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 As a teacher....go to his teacher first....maybe some other parents...then the principal. Make sure of your facts ahead of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightRider Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Take a day off and make an appointment to observe the class. Whether or not she is willing to have you in will say a lot about her methods. My mother has taught 1-5th for about 30 years and has appreciated occasional parental help... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frez Posted September 15, 2004 Author Share Posted September 15, 2004 Thanks for the opinions, I will keep you posted. Still haven't decided which way we are going with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark VI Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Thanks for the opinions, I will keep you posted. Still haven't decided which way we are going with this. 31933[/snapback] Get in there ASAP. Your child needs you to act now. Sounds like a real winner of a teacher with an attitude of untouchable tenure. Call the other parents to consult, go in as a group and just drill the Principal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sistersarah Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Always go to the teacher first. She just may be frustrated where she is and needs some help realizing that she is taking it on the children. She may not realize she is doing it. I know teachers like this and I always think it is better to see them first, then if you are not satisfied then see the principal. You don't want to alienate the teacher if you don't see her first. Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeRay Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Are you kidding me? Look your kid in the eye and tell him to be a man. So what if the teachers yell at the class. Tell him he should be bigger than that... to pay attention and just do what's expected. Oh my god.... let's be sure our children are totally comfortable all the time. God forbid they experience "tension" and "stress". Today's children are becoming a bunch of pussies and whimps... and mostly because of their kitty a$$ parents. Is he really a rough and tough kid like you say? or is that just your perception and your myth? If he really is the rough and tough, then he should show it in situations like this. A 30 year veteran teacher probably means that the teacher is in their early to mid fifties and grew up in a time when everything was earned, not hanned to you and a time when the parents were WWII era parents. So that teacher has probably had with the silver spoon fed, video game, tv watching, lazy, unmotivated, fat, medicated to the max kids of this generation... and rightfully so. Call me insensitive and and idiot. I don't give a stevestojan. I'm right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndZoneCrew Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Parent teacher first , then based on your assessment of that discussion you either give it time or go directly to the principal. Good teachers at this age can captivate children, bad ones can have a detrimental affect for years . 31569[/snapback] I agree totally....there is a chain of command....talk with the teacher first with your concerns...then if the problem persists, go to the principal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndZoneCrew Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 The principal will stick w/ the teacher. 31693[/snapback] Obviously, you are not a teacher.....if the principal has balls yes....not many do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoveldog Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Call a Parent/Teacher conference first. Talk to her and tell her what you have told us. By all means... leave your child at home. This is a discussion best had between adults. If the problem persists, go to the principle and have your child switched. You goal here, unlike what many of the opinions here seem to suggest, is to get a better atmosphere for YOUR child, not to get the teacher fired or re-assigned. Get your facts straight, hear her side of things and let her know how your son feels in class. He should not be subjected to the intimidation. She obviously feels she needs that to 'control' the class. She doesn't and needs to change her tactics. Like someone else said, she may not even realize her behavior is unsuitable to 3rd graders. Tell her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movinon Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Are you kidding me? Look your kid in the eye and tell him to be a man. So what if the teachers yell at the class. Tell him he should be bigger than that... to pay attention and just do what's expected. Oh my god.... let's be sure our children are totally comfortable all the time. God forbid they experience "tension" and "stress". Today's children are becoming a bunch of pussies and whimps... and mostly because of their kitty a$$ parents. Is he really a rough and tough kid like you say? or is that just your perception and your myth? If he really is the rough and tough, then he should show it in situations like this. A 30 year veteran teacher probably means that the teacher is in their early to mid fifties and grew up in a time when everything was earned, not hanned to you and a time when the parents were WWII era parents. So that teacher has probably had with the silver spoon fed, video game, tv watching, lazy, unmotivated, fat, medicated to the max kids of this generation... and rightfully so. Call me insensitive and and idiot. I don't give a stevestojan. I'm right. 31959[/snapback] Your response was a tad harsh but I agree with your assessment. Kids today are so damned thin-skinned it’s ridiculous. For crissake if I went home and cried to my father that the teacher yelled at me he would have yelled at me for being such a crybaby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Parent teacher conference first. Also take your wife/significant other along. Get the teacher's side of the story, let her know the affect she is having on your child. Ask her if that is her intent? Ask her if she feels comfortable teaching 3rd grade after sooooo many years with older kids. First thing that must be done is for the teacher to understand the affect she's having. Then see how she responds. If you are friends with any other parents check with them. Then go to the school administration if nothing changes. Once you get to that point don't back down if you don't see improvement. That 3rd grader is more important to you than the teacher/principal/school, and he deserves your full support. If there is another 3rd grade class he can easily be transferred, but make sure he is willing first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockpile Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Are you kidding me? Look your kid in the eye and tell him to be a man. So what if the teachers yell at the class. Tell him he should be bigger than that... to pay attention and just do what's expected. Oh my god.... let's be sure our children are totally comfortable all the time. God forbid they experience "tension" and "stress". Today's children are becoming a bunch of pussies and whimps... and mostly because of their kitty a$$ parents. Is he really a rough and tough kid like you say? or is that just your perception and your myth? If he really is the rough and tough, then he should show it in situations like this. A 30 year veteran teacher probably means that the teacher is in their early to mid fifties and grew up in a time when everything was earned, not hanned to you and a time when the parents were WWII era parents. So that teacher has probably had with the silver spoon fed, video game, tv watching, lazy, unmotivated, fat, medicated to the max kids of this generation... and rightfully so. Call me insensitive and and idiot. I don't give a stevestojan. I'm right. 31959[/snapback] Yes, you must be right. Frez, tell your 8 year old to be a man. Are you kidding me! Go talk to the teacher and get some information from the teacher's side by all means. I never coddled my four kids, but I never abandoned them to assh*les with tenure either. Get the facts Frez, and take it from there. You may not be an idiot, insensitive, or even right, deeray, but you jump to conclusions very quickly and condemn a whole generation with only few facts. Rockpile - whose kids were not "silver spoon fed, video game, tv watching, lazy, unmotivated, fat, medicated to the max" at all. All are active responsible young adults. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LabattBlue Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 First, I would talk with as many other parents as possible and see what they have been hearing from their children. If multiple parents are hearing the same thing, it may be best to bypass the teacher and go to the principal. If nobody else seems to be hearing these same issues from their kids, you should probably go to the teacher first and see what shakes out. As someone else mentioned, ask to sit in the class during the day, even though my hunch would be that the teacher would be on her best behavior that day. My daughter is in 5th grade now and I don't remember any of the past years, where the teacher did not have an open door policy to come in whenever you would like to observe. There is something very wrong here. Your son shouldn't be brought to tears at night and in the morning over 3rd grade. I don't think there is any place in elementary school for this type of behavior by a teacher especially considering we are only in the first couple of weeks of school. At this early age, children should be excited about school, not petrified. You know when I realized what an impact my daughters 3rd grade teacher had on her?? When the year was over and she cried because she was going to miss her teacher so much. Those are the only tears that should ever come from a 3rd grader. Bottom line...If push comes to shove, I don't know how the school could decline a request for your son to be put in another class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dib Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Go to the principle, then go to the board of education and file a complaint. I had a creep for a first grade teacher. What she used to do to the not so rich kids. She shoved my friend Susan Sieleckia in a closet cause she had a problem adding. My mother and other mothers took it to the board. Surely this whale was fired. 31571[/snapback] Nothing like a knee jerk reaction. If my mail is late I go right to the postmaster general. First, do NOT go to the princi-PAL. Follow the chain of command. Request a conference with the teacher, because, gentle reader there are always two sides to every story. If it is allowed at your school, bring your child to the conference. Ask if there is maybe a bully in the classroom or school that your child is afraid to reveal for fear of retribution. I'm sorry your friend Susie got shoved INTO a closet. That of course is unacceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LabattBlue Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Frez let me know if you got my PM. I seem to be having a problem with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LabattBlue Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Are you kidding me? Look your kid in the eye and tell him to be a man. So what if the teachers yell at the class. Tell him he should be bigger than that... to pay attention and just do what's expected. Oh my god.... let's be sure our children are totally comfortable all the time. God forbid they experience "tension" and "stress". Today's children are becoming a bunch of pussies and whimps... and mostly because of their kitty a$$ parents. Is he really a rough and tough kid like you say? or is that just your perception and your myth? If he really is the rough and tough, then he should show it in situations like this. A 30 year veteran teacher probably means that the teacher is in their early to mid fifties and grew up in a time when everything was earned, not hanned to you and a time when the parents were WWII era parents. So that teacher has probably had with the silver spoon fed, video game, tv watching, lazy, unmotivated, fat, medicated to the max kids of this generation... and rightfully so. Call me insensitive and and idiot. I don't give a stevestojan. I'm right. 31959[/snapback] This is completely out of line. Do you know what is going on in the classroom? Without knowing all the facts, how can you claim that "you are right"?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live&DieBillsFootball Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 I was worried from the start that the younger kids would fear her. She has always been known to be a screamer and many children have had problems with her in the past. I just don't think the teacher is going to change now for my son. My son does not respond to screaming teachers. I feel it would be best for him to have another teacher. Thanks Frez 31564[/snapback] I reread your initial post and quoted several of your statements above. It appears to me that you feel the best thing is to move your kid to a different class. I think that you should follow your instincts and forget about the "chain of command" suggestions and the "kids are pussies" statements and do what is right for your child. It is the beginning of the school year and the best time to move your kid is now. By the time you "poll the parents", "discuss with the teacher and give her a second chance", and "bring it up to the principal" and "bring it to the school board" you will have wasted a lot of time. As for the people who think that our kids don't get enough stress: think about how your mom used to be home for you when you got out of school. Not many kids are lucky enough to have a parent home when they get out of school. Also, our kids are getting tested to death with schools putting more emphasis on state tests than teaching the regular curriculum. I think that kids have enough stress now. My kids have soccer games, hockey games, guitar and drum lessons that tie up most nights of the week as well as homework and household chores. Good luck to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightRider Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 This is completely out of line. Do you know what is going on in the classroom? Without knowing all the facts, how can you claim that "you are right"?? 32059[/snapback] That's why I suggested observing the class. I very well may be that something is happening that the teacher is oblivious about. If you have enough interest to take time off and spend it in a classroom, you'll accomplish two things. The teacher will give more attention to your son. You will also have a better idea whether or not your son is too sensitive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndZoneCrew Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Go to the principle, then go to the board of education and file a complaint. I had a creep for a first grade teacher. What she used to do to the not so rich kids. She shoved my friend Susan Sieleckia in a closet cause she had a problem adding. My mother and other mothers took it to the board. Surely this whale was fired. 31571[/snapback] are you serious.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoachChuckDickerson Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 As a teacher....go to his teacher first....maybe some other parents...then the principal. Make sure of your facts ahead of time. 31717[/snapback] Luvbills is absolutely correct. My wife is a teacher (3rd grade) and I can't help but laugh sometimes when I hear stuff like this. She was teacher of the year in our county last year. She is very good at what she does. Now this year she has a set wacked out parents who insist she is giving the kids too much work. Little Johnny goes home and cries every night about the homework he has to do, even though it is a maximum of 20 minutes of work. After the crying and temper tantrums it takes him a couple of hours. The parents in turn insist there can't be any issues with Little Johnny. He is perfect. People love to blame the teacher instead of the child. Kids have a tendancy to blow things out of proportion. Talk with the teacher first about any issues you might have. Make sure you have your facts straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macaroni Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 IMHO ............ at this stage in your sons educational career he should be learning to "enjoy school" .......... his teachers main responsibility is not to browbeat the students, but to inspire them to learn. I had a very similar experiance with my daughter, she LOVED school until she ran into one particular teacher in grade school, and she began dreading even the thought of going. My knee jerk reaction then was to tell her to "gut it out" and to consider this year as a lesson that you will sometimes run into people who just rub you the wrong way, and oft times THEY can be the people in charge of your life, so you may as well learn how to cope now. It also got to the point where she couldn't sleep or eat, my wife (the trained education professional) said enough is enough and this is too much ..... we went to the school and demanded that she be moved to another teacher, the principal at first tried to tell us that we couldn't switch her, but our comment to that was that in our opinion, she is already taken out of her current class, the only thing that needs to be figured out is where she's going to school, and if that school had room for her, that would make us happy, but she was NOT going to walk into Mrs. XXXXX's room again, ever, period, end of story. Since a school gets funded by the number of little butts in their seats, she was more than glad to find a spot for my daughter in another class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 a screamer, huh? nice, is her last name latourno(sp)? My son who is 8 years old has a bit of a problem with his 3rd grade teacher. First let me tell you about my boy. He's an outgoing, rough playing lots of friends type of kid. He's never been fearful of school until now. Here's the problem, he comes home from school with a tear in his eye saying how much his 3rd grade teacher yells at the class. He eats dinner at night with tears in his eyes worrying about school the next day. He goes to bed at night and wakes in the morning with tears in his eyes worrying about his teacher yelling and screaming. This teacher has been teaching for at least 30 years. She has always taught the older children until now. Now she is teaching the 3rd graders. I was worried from the start that the younger kids would fear her. She has always been known to be a screamer and many children have had problems with her in the past. My question is what do I do first? Do I go right to the principal and ask for my son to be in a different classroom or do I go see the teacher first? I just don't think the teacher is going to change now for my son. My son does not respond to screaming teachers. I feel it would be best for him to have another teacher. I would like to hear your thoughts please. Thanks Frez 31564[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardy Pyle Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 I think the adversity will be good for the kid. Kids can't have it smooth sailing all of the time. Without bad teachers, he wouldn't appreciate the good ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jad1 Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 I think the adversity will be good for the kid. Kids can't have it smooth sailing all of the time. Without bad teachers, he wouldn't appreciate the good ones. 32367[/snapback] Yeah, who cares if he's reading on a 2nd grade level in 4th grade. Just tell him to nut up, and look at the bright side, repeating the 3rd grade next year probably means that he'll be the tallest kid in his class! My parents pushed me pretty hard when I was in elementary school, but they always knew what was going on in the classroom. It seems to me that you can make sure your kid is working hard, while at the same time making sure he's not being verbally abused by a teacher. The biggest problems in education occur when parents aren't involved with their kids' school life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 The first thing I would need to do is keep my wife from bodyslamming (former GLOW wrestler) this woman through a window.......so parent teacher is probably out of the question...... I would go to the principle immediately and first ask nicely.....if he says know then I would threaten a law suit against the school district for mental abuse by this a hole teacher But...in the back of my mind I would probably really enjoy the 1st option.......watching my wife get physical gets me hot..... These things can be a pain in the but.......my 8 year old daughter was getting picked on and even slapped once by this group of girls in her class last year.....after school was over we decided to let her join into a karate class (mostly because she loves dance and those classes are really expensive...the Karate was much cheaper) She took to it immediately and very quickly the teacher of the class had taken her under his wing......well about a week ago those same girls caught up to my daughter on the playground thinking it was open season again. My wife gets a call from the office and sure enough my daughter had kicked one of the girls in the stomach and she started cryin.....the school was actually mad at MY daughter even though she was defending herself against 3 girls...... Needless to say I went right to the mat for her with the principal....."where was all this concern when my girl was getting slapped around last year?....it isn't like we didn't report it" The principal asked me to have a talk with my daughter.....I told her I definately would....the next time make sure to go for the face instead of the gut so they can have a shining reminder of why you should bully other people....... To the principal..... :I starred in Brokeback Mountain: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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