Jauronimo Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 (edited) **Breaking News: Famous Uggs model Tom Brady will not be playing in tonights matchup for some reason. We have left several voicemails on Tom's phone but he has not responded for comment for some reason. Tonight's matchup features two undefeated AFC teams, the loathsome New England Patriots* and the Texans of Houston. It should be a defensive struggle as the man who was benched last year in favor of Peyton Manning's corpse takes the field against the Pats 5th string rookie QB. Belichek will sure to be cheating at a very high level tonight as the Pats look to stay unbeaten, but Bill O'Brien knows all about Belichek's dirty tricks as he spent several years in Fawkesboro holding Belichek's coffee. Did you know Fawkesboro was named after notable English patriot Guy Fawkes? He would be spinning in his grave to find out his namesake is now synonymous with treachery and deception. For shame Patriots*. More updates to follow* Edited September 23, 2016 by Jauronimo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJBobby Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Patriots win this game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted September 23, 2016 Author Share Posted September 23, 2016 (edited) Alan Branch is taking a wait and see approach with the Brisket for now, but if he sucks you can expect him to DWI his way to the Broncos. It turns out interfering with the fair catch is still illegal. Brisket takes the field in place of injured lesbian and breakfast food enthusiast Janeane Garafalo. Hold on to your dicks! Edited September 23, 2016 by Jauronimo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJBobby Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Love watch Hopkins play ball Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dayman Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 I agree, the Patriots are hated twice over (at lease twice over). But I always kind of like rooting for teams when they run out of QBs. Hope they lose but I'll laugh with glee if their QB makes good plays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted September 23, 2016 Author Share Posted September 23, 2016 (edited) O'Brien wisely stops the clock with 22 minutes remaining in the half. All those grueling hours spent at Andy Reid's School for Game Management and Parenting Children Too have clearly paid off. CBS showing off why they lay claim to America's #1 Wednesday, 9-9:30, ethnic mis-match, comedic drama, and announce the reboot of that mildly successful show that some people watched 20 years ago. Kudos! Edited September 23, 2016 by Jauronimo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJBobby Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 (edited) Hey a perfect use of TO, Rex concurs with the call O'Brien One good thing so far is the Twitter live stream of the game is on point again. Edited September 23, 2016 by MAJBobby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sodbuster Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 I can't believe JE is always awarded that penalty. What a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apuszczalowski Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 I kinda want to see brisket get hurt just so we can see the Pats bring out Edelman (or whichever WR it is) as their backup and see what he can do, which is most likely end up winning the game with some be calls to help them out Same thing could happen (and with their luck probably will) in Cleveland if their starter goes down and they don't think whitehurst is ready, where Pryor could end up showing off his QB "skills" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted September 23, 2016 Author Share Posted September 23, 2016 AdamSchefter 3m Sources within the Patriots organization say Jacoby Brissett is playing with a fake mustache tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4merper4mer Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Walt Coleman officiating a Pats game. Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Jackson Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Malcolm Mitchell is going to be a problem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4merper4mer Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 God I hate all of those mass holes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KellyToTasker Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Mass Holes are going undefeated this year if they don't lose tonight. Brace yourselves for, "Brady's Pissed", "Us Against Everbody", blah, blah, blah. It's just as annoying as, "The Patriot Way." Let this end already! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Bill O Brien is Doug Marrone's BFF. The end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PolishDave Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 I thought a pass had to be catchable for you to call a pass interference penalty on that New England drive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4merper4mer Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Whistle was clearly blowing with ball rolling around Kneel and get 25 though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobobonators Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Kraft sold his soul and all of his grandchildrens' souls bc this is ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sodbuster Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 I thought it couldn't be overturned if the whistle blew. Or did they change the rule? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted September 23, 2016 Author Share Posted September 23, 2016 (edited) A quick whistle may have prevented a Houston turnover. Will the Patriots* ever catch a break??? The answer is yes. Edited September 23, 2016 by Jauronimo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts