The Frankish Reich

Exactly. I'm in favor of a hand-painted plank of wood, nailed in that slanted way right on top of O.J.

I thought it would be too expensive, building a dome stadium for 8 games a year. But I hadn't factored in the monster truck show revenue.

If the other Beane (Billy of Moneyball fame) were an NFL GM, he'd probably say "target players coming off PED suspensions." They maintain some of the residual effects of the PEDs well after the suspension ends.

In Sammy's case, rambling "reptilian" comments are not from private conversations ... he's putting it out there for the whole world to see. In Richie's case, offensive comments are not muttered in the privacy of his own home, they're made right out there in the workplace. And in Zay's case, well, nobody would've much cared if he'd run around the inside of his apartment naked, yelling truly nutty things ...

Finally, time for some Robert Fripp affirmation here. After the end of the first King Crimson, he put down some of the most lyrical, avant garde yet still melodic solos ever - Eno (St. Elmo's Fire comes to mind), Bowie (not so many guitar solos there, more providing gritty leads), Gabriel (more atmospheric than solos), and his own stuff including North Star with (don't laugh) Darryl Hall and a perfect solo for the Roches (same) on Hammond Song. Really a tremendous run from about '75 to '82 or so.

Zay is definitely the most sane of the 3. That's right, the naked guy who kicked out the 30th floor window is more sane than Richie and Sammy because that one was almost certainly a momentary drug-induced psychosis rather than a deep-seated personality disorder.

I've worked in and around law enforcement for 20 years. Yes, it definitely can make sense. We don't know all the facts, but let me throw out one scenario that's quite common: - domestic violence incident - victim, or sometimes a neighbor or even a child calls police - police come, victim not cooperative - police assign investigator, victim learns a little about domestic violence, is convinced to cooperate - DA files charges And, of course, it works the other way too. Sometimes the victim tells the whole story, then recants. Or case goes to trial, jury impaneled, victim doesn't show (remember that case in the news a few months ago with the irate judge in Florida when this happened?) or gives weak "I don't really remember what happened/what I said" testimony. All I know is that the DA typically won't file charges unless he/she believes the crime has been committed and there's a reasonable likelihood of getting a conviction. Are DAs and cops perfect? No. Do they sometimes overreach? Sure. But in the vast majority of the time, the system chugs along to an appropriate decision, based on the evidence, of whether or not to prosecute. By the way, most cops I've known hate being called to the scene on domestic violence incidents. First, they're dangerous. Emotions are high, people are often impaired, they do irrational things. The ones who get assigned to longer term to investigate these cases, and the DAs who (usually voluntarily) take on these cases are people worthy of our admiration. It's tough. Victims (let's face it, 99% women) often change their stories - they've got other things to worry about like keeping marriages and homes and families together. They may fear their husbands/boyfriends, but more typically the husband/boyfriend goes into full pleading/desperation "I'll never do it again, I promise" mode, and it often works. These cops and DAs are remarkably patient, much more so than I ever could be ... it's a mess, but law enforcement usually takes some solace in the idea that maybe they're making things a little bit better, every now and then, by using the strong persuasion of the law to change behavior before it's too late ...

So you're saying he's never made a graceful exit?

I miss both of them. Seriously, I do! As for Dunkirk: I enjoyed watching for the Joe Webb Package, and enjoyed mocking it when it never emerged. I liked Savior Peterman's ridiculous obsession with a 5th round draft pick, and ridiculing the concept that anyone would think of Peterman as a savior somehow dulled the pain of that auspicious debut. So I guess what I'm saying is ... please come back home, Dunkirk and SP. (Dunkirk in his original incarnation, please; SP, we will welcome you back as the Particle Sun.) This board needs you. It really can't take another "what if Mason Rudolph is available at 22" type thread. It needs something ... outrageous. At least every now and then ...

Ahh, memories ...

Let's just say Richie is not known for being the brightest bulb, even for an O lineman. - fires his agent - gets frustrated over taking that pay cut. His agent did a fine job. Richie is a toxic asset. Really, I can't see any other team taking him on. The Bills have already taken the heat by signing him, and are his only real option. - announces retirement, AND ACTUALLY PUTS IN HIS NFLPA RETIREMENT PAPERS. This is not an Eric Wood "I can't play, but I ain't "retiring." Eric Wood has bargaining power for an injury settlement. - obviously Richie doesn't hire an accountant or lawyer either, or they would have advised him that a voluntary retirement would result in the requirement to pay back part of the signing bonus. He's an idiot. He has a tiny bit of bargaining power here; he can presumably claim that his retirement is football injury/health related, and it's plausible enough (as others have said, the bulk up football diet (we won't mention the "supplements" here) certainly will contribute to kidney/liver dimished function. So he may - with a lawyer - be able to negotiate something. The Bills are also so desperate now for O line help I could even see him coming back. Side note: Richie somehow thinks of himself as an honorary African American. He thinks his friends like Pouncey in Miami and Shady here give him cover; he hangs with them, so he can use language black guys use among themselves. That's not how it works these days, and as I said, he's a very slow learner ....

About as far from a major signing as can be, but I will say this for the Pats: buying low like this makes a lot of sense. Matthews had an extremely unlucky year heath wise, but there's really no reason to think he's not the same guy who was a perfectly decent 3rd option (roughly 70 catches/year, 11.5 yards per catch or so) at WR in 2014-16.

Exactly. Question: What was the Bills' longest kickoff return in 2017? Answer: 29 yards. Question 2: How many kickoffs did the Super Bowl champs return in all of 2017? Answer 2: 18. Just about one per game. I'm not sure I like the "AAF" solution to the onside kick, but they're barking up the right tree here ... you'll want to eliminate kickoffs but preserve some substitute for the onside kick that is roughly as likely to succeed, with the kicking team taking over at roughly the same spot on the field.

And we're off: http://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/23060914/former-florida-south-carolina-head-coach-steve-spurrier-coach-orlando-team-alliance-american-football-league 1. Promising: seems to be real football, in the spring, likely in places without NFL franchises. Some minor rule changes, most of which (prediction!) the NFL itself will adopt: no kickoffs; to substitute for onside kicks, a team may elect to take the ball facing 4th and 10 at it's own 35. No extra points. 30 second play clock; attempt to finish a game in 2.5 hours. Some buy-in (limited) from CBS. 2. Not promising: decidedly a minor league. The "big names" brought in are ancient (Polian), irrelevant (Hines Ward, Polamalu), or both (Spurrier). Ebersol's kid seems smart though. Plus you're competing with the NFL, still (despite problems) the masters of marketing - look how they dominate the offseason with staged free agency periods, the draft, etc. You're up against all that plus post-Super Bowl fatigue. My guess: this one will work, on a minor scale, for a little while. The NFL will co-opt the best features (game length; player safety; some rules changes) and will eventually kill it. It could be a little fun for a little while ...

It's almost time for the "Former Nevada-Reno pitcher Colin Kaepernick has held private workouts for several MLB teams" stories to begin, isn't it? ETA August 15.