Jauronimo Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 (edited) There have been a handful of interviews with Jasper and much speculation about him and his future with the Bills, but we've still only scratched the surface. There's still so much we don't know. Below are just a few of the questions that I and others on TBD have about Jasper: Will Jasper make the roster or be taken on the practice squad? Will other teams take him off our PS? Can he start in 2011? Would he play special teams? Was his coming foretold in some book? Has his favorite color been invented yet? Why not and what are we doing about it? Has the Earth actually moved closer to the sun since Jasper? Would the South have won the civil war if they had Jasper? If he were an ice cream flavor what would he be? Would you let him date your daughter? Would you let him date your wife or son? Is he a top or a bottom (he has lost weight)? Would a bucket of his sweat cure diseases or remove red wine stains? Is he dating anyone? Would he carry his bride to the top of a tall building or skyscraper? How many pool balls can he fit in his mouth? How far can he throw a midget? Does he believe in midgets? Could he actually steal Christmas? Did he postpone the rapture? Would Jasper score more goals than Wayne Gretzky or dance better than Baryshnikov? Does he know what the definition of "was" is? Does he care? Can Jasper be turned in to a weapon (mount rockets under each arm)? Would an automoton Jasper violate Asimov's third rule of robotics? Could robot Jasper develop human feelings? Are the Russians working on a Jasper right now? What if Jasper falls into the wrong hands, like Al Qaeda or the Dolphins? Are we in imminent danger? Is he ticklish? Jasper spelled backwards is Repsaj. What does this mean? Does the utterance of Repsaj open some type of parallel dimension or make women aroused? Does anyone else have questions or answers to the above? Edited May 31, 2011 by Jauronimo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Does anyone else have questions or answers to the above? Should I merge this thread into another on Jasper or just delete it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nasty Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 The question I have about Jasper along with a number of other people is "Can he play football, or is this just a stepping stone to the WWE?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BADOLBILZ Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Cheektavegas has the over/under on Jasper getting IR'd at 3 practice sessions. If Wood is at center, that number drops to 1.5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
....lybob Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 My question is how did he feel when Chuck Norris handed him the crown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saundena Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Should I merge this thread into another on Jasper or just delete it? Keep it here. The OP must have spent some time coming up with all of these remarks. Some of them were pretty funny... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corp000085 Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Should I merge this thread into another on Jasper or just delete it? Just close it for a while to torment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruceisloose78 Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 does he believe in midgets? amazing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Lightning Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I think he's actually a real Minotour....which would make him a true beast and of course an excellent nose tackle., Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heitz Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jr1 Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Will Jasper become a Japanese cultural icon like Bob Sapp? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hondo in seattle Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Should I merge this thread into another on Jasper or just delete it? C'mon... this was both original and amusing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Long Beach Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Rarely does a post make me laugh out loud as much as this one did. Well done! Especially appreciated after a rough day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 C'mon... this was both original and amusing! hence the smiley face thingy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McD Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 These were damned funny... keep 'em coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van_phelaN1 Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 If Jasper was heading east going top speed and a locomotive was heading west at top speed on the same track, How many survivor's would be left on the train to ask for his autograph? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T master Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Aside from the post being a bit on the goofy side , I say Jasper is going to be a monster for the Bills i just hope they keep him on the roster because if the Pats or Jets see him on the practice team he's gone & we will be kicking or selves in the ass every time he's blowing up our running game for the next ten years !!! He will be our next Ted Washington or Pat Williams ..... :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joejoebills Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 C'mon... this was both original and amusing! How was that amusing? I'm not from Buffalo but my dad is and this is the kind of thing my Dad would find funny. This must be Buffalo humor because there is no way that any sensible person could find this even remotly funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitz's Beard Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 How was that amusing? I'm not from Buffalo but my dad is and this is the kind of thing my Dad would find funny. This must be Buffalo humor because there is no way that any sensible person could find this even remotly funny. I found it incredibly funny. I really hope he makes the team. I think he will be a force to be reckoned with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 (edited) How was that amusing? I'm not from Buffalo but my dad is and this is the kind of thing my Dad would find funny. This must be Buffalo humor because there is no way that any sensible person could find this even remotly funny. So you're implying that people from Buffalo are in now way sensible and anyone who found my post funny is either mentally deficient or your dad? I find your opinions very interesting and wish to subscribe to your newsletter. Out of curiosity, what enlightened city do you call home? Oh, and good luck with the daddy issues. Edited June 1, 2011 by Jauronimo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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