Jump to content

News flash: Sullivan proven replaced by AI


Recommended Posts

I think it is now proven beyond any reasonable doubt: Jerry Sullivan has actually been on vacation all year.

 

In his absence, his columns have been generated by an AI program which scans the internet for key Bills news.

The program then combines this news with a large database of writing cliches ("wish on a fading star"), followed by reiteration ad nauseum of a limited number of Sullivan's pet themes (ie: "root for the Bills to lose")

 

Subject matter experts have assessed the AI to be fairly high quality, as witnessed by the fact that while many have complained that Sullivan has become an overly predictable "one note Charley", no one has actually "outed" the program until today.

 

Sullivan's vacation destination was not immediately confirmed. Eminent writers have historically chosen destinations such as Key West or Paris. There are unconfirmed reports that Sullivan has been sighted in MaCungie, PA.

 

Reaction to this outing on Two Bills Drive has been mixed. A number of posters expressed relief: "that certainly would explain a lot!". At least 3 long-time posters with media connections announced in a huff they were leaving, incensed that their media colleague could be shamelessly insulted by being outed as "no better than a computer program written by a high school hacker".

 

TBD conspiracy theorists speculated that Fitzpatrick's uncharacteristic meltdown last week was caused by Sullivan spiking his Christmas pudding with fumble-enhancing drugs to avoid "outing" the vacation scam when Sullivan fails to deliver on an offer to run down Hertel Avenue in his underwear should the Bills QB pass for 30 TD this season. Fitzpatrick has twice passed for 4 TD in a single game this season; a decent outing against NE would have placed this goal within reach.

 

Linky

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love how he ended the article..."root for a loss"

 

Id bet my LIFE that if the Bills lose today against the Jets' second string, this jackass will write an article blasting them for THAT.

 

Sullivan is a second...no....THIRD rate hack of a writer.

 

"This move is a clear indication that the Bills are desperate for an outside linebacker who can get after the passer."

 

Really, "lil Jerry"? The Buffalo Bills...a team that has become 'NFL Siberia' is 'desperate' for good players? Wow...thats some good insight there. Only YOU lil Jerry...only YOU could blast the Bills for taking a chance on a former great player (who is 26!!!!) that isnt a sure thing in the hope the player can reclaim their career and the team can benefit......something virtually EVERY team from Pop Warner through Little League, through High School, college and the pro sports UNIVERSE does on a daily. Even the New York Yankees, often considered the "gold standard" of sports francises takes flyers on players. But the Bills do it....and its bad. GOLD....lil Jerry......COMEDY GOLD!!!!!!!!

 

Thats my new name for him...from Seinfeld...."lil Jerry"..becuase he really is a little man.

Edited by RkFast
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love how he ended the article..."root for a loss"

 

Id bet my LIFE that if the Bills lose today against the Jets' second string, this jackass will write an article blasting them for THAT.

 

Sullivan is a second...no....THIRD rate hack of a writer.

 

"This move is a clear indication that the Bills are desperate for an outside linebacker who can get after the passer."

 

Really, "lil Jerry"? The Buffalo Bills...a team that has become 'NFL Siberia' is 'desperate' for good players? Wow...thats some good insight there. Only YOU lil Jerry...only YOU could blast the Bills for taking a chance on a former great player (who is 26!!!!) that isnt a sure thing in the hope the player can reclaim their career and the team can benefit......something virtually EVERY team from Pop Warner through Little League, through High School, college and the pro sports UNIVERSE does on a daily. Even the New York Yankees, often considered the "gold standard" of sports francises takes flyers on players. But the Bills do it....and its bad. GOLD....lil Jerry......COMEDY GOLD!!!!!!!!

 

Thats my new name for him...from Seinfeld...."lil Jerry"..becuase he really is a little man.

Funny how he is just realizing that we are desperate for an outside LB that can rush the passer. He is brilliant.

Edited by nucci
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Where does the "I" part come in?

 

It comes in as modified by the "A" part.

 

You know, like how artificial trees don't carry out photosynthesis, artificial flowers don't pollinate, and artificial sweeteners don't quite taste like sugar.

 

At least Herzel street is safe from Sully in his undies

 

Jerry Sullivan's self of steam must be very low.

 

It's waiting for his Haul off Fame

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest three3

another example of sully telling the truth. could merriman contribute next season? maybe but not likely. when was the last time merriman contributed something? that's what i thought. pay him above the minimum after he proves he can still contribute, not before. why am i not surprised that you tards react this way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

another example of sully telling the truth. could merriman contribute next season? maybe but not likely. when was the last time merriman contributed something? that's what i thought. pay him above the minimum after he proves he can still contribute, not before. why am i not surprised that you tards react this way.

 

Nice. Everyone's self of steam has been lowered as a result of this brilliant comment.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Could barely make it through half the article.

 

If all I wanted to read was whining, there are negative posters here who are more knowledgeable about the game, and better writers.

 

Sullivan's article was spot on. He summarized the situation accurately. Bills nation had better take off the rose colored glasses and face reality. The truth is ugly, but necessary. Thankfully Sullivan is brave enough to notice the emperor has no clothes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Could barely make it through half the article.

 

If all I wanted to read was whining, there are negative posters here who are more knowledgeable about the game, and better writers.

 

This, so please, for the love of everything, stop talking about him. This is why he is still employed!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...