Jauronimo

Gruden is befuddled as Cleveland gives up a first down on first and 20. Pettine is no longer in the running to be the Grinding Gruden. Everyone else is still alive. Theres no time fact check, Yolo. We're doing this thing live and uncut so hold on to your foreskin. Its going to be wild a finish here. Update: My sources have confirmed that Austin Davis will play if McCown is hurt because "dude, that guy Pitten is a pain in my a$$. Wasn't even that drunk"

McCown is down and its looking like Johnny F@#$ign Football time!!!! Pettine might just forfeit. Per sources deep within the organization, Ray Farmer has sent Mike Pettine 37 text messages since the first quarter with variations of "FLee flickerZ LOL". Apparently, Farmer has learned nothing from his first suspension. The only commercials tonight that haven't been pushing erection pills are selling wood splitters. Mixed messages, ESPN.

Justin Gilbert took a massive hit and is very shaken up on the Raven's sideline. Per Jay Glaze Her (adult film star I follow) Jeff Fisher is reportedly pursuing a trade. Stay tuned. Gruden has not mentioned Brett Favre once tonight. I'm concerned. Bring back Kornheiser!

After a first half romance, Gruden is very disappointed in Schaub following the pick 6. They may be having dinner at Pomodoro tomorrow night. Barkevious Mingo??? Pretty sure Gruden is making up names. Marc Trestman wears the same glasses as my mother. John Hughes is almost unrecognizable these days. Probably why Molly Ringwald left him assuming they were together. They were most likely together. Why else would you put her in every movie?

Observations on the game. Will update in real time For those that have gone mercifully deaf, Gruden is on his game tonight. Should be great broadcast. The Orangemen are playing with a lot of energy tonight after firing their HC just days ago. Gruden on the topic of Donte Whitner "he's a winner". Poltifact's truth-o-meter has deemed this statement to be dubious. 2 min warning in the second quarter. Everyone is a front runner for the Gruden Grinder tonight and title of John Gruden's best friend. Tight race. Halftime. Berman is having an aneurysm. Ottawa has a CFL franchise called the Red Blacks. Where is the outrage?!?! Snyder must have something to do with this. Whitner has challenged Poltiifact to a boxing match and pre-emptively reneged on his next 5 twitter giveaways. Whitler don't play. The new Cuse coach pettine has ties to Marrone and Buffalo. Small world. This Schaub guy is looking sharp so far. He might have a real future in football. Baltimore backup QBs are looking like a hot commodity.

After posting the same gibberish in at least 5 other threads, how is your grand treatise on Whaley still such an incomprehensible, abortion of a post?

Back in my day, terrible threads were at least entertaining. No redeeming value.

While we're discussing quick fixes and easy answers, I agree that we should hire a football czar. But I think that it should be an even better czar than the one the OP is describing. Hiring any old football czar isn't good enough. We need to hire the BEST czar that ever did czar. Also, he should be 7 feet tall and dress in traditional Russian court garb circa the fifteenth century and speak only in riddles.

It looks like the boy genius Chip Kelly got his first failing grade and instead of accepting responsibility, maybe adopting a little humility, he intends run from the challenge and cut all the black players, probably.

The international series has been an unmitigated disaster. Fun fact, less than half the countries in the world (probably even less than 25%) use the formal system of measurement the English System. Basically its us, the Brits, a few warlord governed African nations, and probably that old limey Penile colony down south founded by people to dumb to be Brits. The rest of the backwards world uses Celsius. The point is, that foreigners and other culturally disadvantaged peoples cannot properly visualize the game of football. Yards have no meaning to them (they don't even call them yards in Europe, instead calling them gardens for some ass in nine reason). Its like if I told you to run 9 meters and then do a cute little button hook with a cross stitch, you would be confused as all hell? How far is that? 2 yards, 10 yards, half a mile??? We just can't visualize it. Given this context, its absolutely no surprise that the Canada series was parsley attended and it was so quiet you could hear a poutine drop. Total flop. The part that drives me crazy is that these corporate eggheads keep pitching this idea as if its something new when they've been playing the Pro Bowl in Hawaii forever!!!! 30 years of foreign Pro Bowls and what are the results? Probably cancelling the damn game sometime soon due to lack of interest. Granite, maybe we don't have Polamalulu and Manati Teo without Hawaii pro bowl, but when we're talking about growing the game, we should be aiming higher than a just two guys, their families, and their girlfriend's families.

Does this surprise anyone? Coaching in the NFL is hard enough as it is and its almost impossible to inspire your team when you're racist against black players.

Hang in there, Estelle. People laughed at me last year when I suggested that we trade our first round draft pick to Clemson for Chad Kelly and a backup guy. Everybody said that's crazy. When Chad Kelly lit up Alabama and LSU, well, lets just say vindicated.

100% preventable??? Sheen's lifestyle was undoubtedly a contributing factor in his contraction of the disease (assuming he hasn't already defeated the retrovirus with the power of his mind), but Estevez's situation is more of the exception to the rule. Do you have any idea of how many innocent people contract HIV from toilet seats everyday. EVERY DAY!! My friend took a dump in a brothel in Haiti and he had full blown AIDS by the time he made it back to Tijuana. Not HIV, not I think I'll go buy the Dodgers. FULL BLOWN AIDS!!

Well that's just rude. I'm just trying to raise awareness for the Bucket of AIDS. How does that offend you? What good are you doing trivializing the AIDS pandemic?

So you're accepting the Bucket of AIDS Challenge?? Great news, Doc! Please post your challenge video on YouTube and update this thread with a link once you've completed. You've got 24 hours! Don't forget to nominate other board members in your video!!

While its heart warming to see you all revel in another human being's misfortune, I feel compelled to spoil schadenfreude fest 2015 to remind you all that HIV is a deadly disease affecting millions (possibly billions of people). Many of you stand by the old adage "well that will never happen to me. That only happens to guys who fall asleep at truck stops and girls in Detroit" but the statistics show that at least of one you is destined to get that call informing you that one of your recent sexual partners has AIDS. When those words are uttered "I'm HIV positive, you should get tested", they say it feels like free failing while being showered with needles, broken glass, and ice cold blood. That's why I'm nominating TRBJ, Bandit, Gug, FireChan, and Beerball to go down to the free clinic and dump a bucket of blood, pins, and broken glass over their heads and take the Bucket of AIDS Challenge. Feel free to nominate your friends and family too and enter the running to receive an autographed Jeremy Maclin jersey. Together we can raise awareness!!!!* #BucketOfAIDSChallenge2016 *awareness is just as good as money and resources in today's internet based economy.

In the past two weeks they've lost their second leading rusher and third leading receiver in Lewis and now they've lost their second leading receiver (adjusted for today's game) in Edelman. That's a lot of production to replace. Edelman's presence will be sorely missed on third downs.

I think Whaley and Co. really screwed the pooch back in March. Why do we keep scheduling New England twice a year? Look at Boise State from a few years ago or Iowa. They don't play anyone and as long as they keep blowing out chumps they still stay highly regarded. Why not just play the Browns, Titans, and New Orleans and schedule against weaker opponents? Sure, we'll get dinged on strength of schedule and we don't get as much TV exposure for recruiting free agents but having a winning record when the playoff selection committee meets in week 17 will go farther than getting exposed by the Bungles and Pasties. We will never secure a 1 or 2 seed, but get into the playoffs and its a whole new season. Anything can happen. Its worth a shot.

They say karlos was born in the end zone and on game days he returns to the place of his birth, guided hundreds of yards only by sense of smell like the salmon of Capistrano.

I might trade the crunchy tube sock next to selmon smith's bed, but I'm not sure they'd take it.

Browns beat Buffalo 6-3 in the game that almost killed football. 2009 Skins game in Toronto 2011 Bills lose to Ravens in ot as forward progress rules are suspended. 2010 Bills Jets December 2008. Losman naked bootleg right, fumbles on 3rd and 1. Returned for a td with 1:54 remaining.

MNF loss to Dallas 2007 MNF loss to Cleveland 2008 Season Opener to the Pats 2009. McKelvin fumbles punt Dolphins beat Bills 2005. Phins biggest comeback There's a few to get you started

We all know how it played out, but my question is if Cassel bounces back and plays lights out next week, is that it for my marriage??

I did mean to say that. Dicks are my favorite subject. I've got dicks on my mind.

Its some of the weakest trash talk on TBD. Barbie collector, no make that Ken doll collector!!! Burn! 3rd grade me would've been absolutely mildly agitated. And then the coup de grace...you're gay!! This was a verbal Little Bighorn. Total massacre. If I wasn't already so full of doll collecting, homosexual shame I would've stopped showing my face around here months ago.