transient

"Ladies and gentlemen, inspired by my affinity for having my vagina and anus stimulated at the same time, I present to you my Tom Brady "shocker" line of hoodies."

Or the language being thrown around in tweets and such is imprecise.

It's reportedly very painful (assuming kneecap and not "dislocated knee" as above; my former roommate, who played college football, had a dislocated kneecap and said it was excruciating, in part due to the muscle spasms he had while his knee was dislocated), but depending on the extent of damage to surrounding bone, cartilage, or ligaments, a dislocated kneecap is potentially less severe and less of a recovery than an ACL tear.

That was my first thought based on descriptions floating around the thread. Here's a Medline description of a dislocated patella: Kneecap dislocation Kneecap dislocation occurs when the triangle-shaped bone covering the knee (patella) moves or slides out of place. The problem usually occurs toward the outside of the leg. Causes Kneecap (patella) dislocation is often seen in women. It usually occurs after a sudden change in direction when your leg is planted. This puts your kneecap under stress. Dislocation may also occur as result of direct trauma. When the kneecap is dislocated, it can slip sideways to the outside of the knee. Symptoms Symptoms of kneecap dislocation include: Knee appears to be deformed Knee is bent and cannot be straightened out Kneecap (patella) dislocates to the outside of the knee Knee pain and tenderness Knee swelling "Sloppy" kneecap -- you can move the kneecap too much from right to left (hypermobile patella) The first few times this occurs, you will feel pain and be unable to walk. However, if dislocations continue to occur and are untreated, you may feel less pain and have less immediate disability. This is not a reason to avoid treatment. Kneecap dislocation damages your knee joint. First Aid If you can, straighten out your knee. If it is stuck and painful to move, stabilize (splint) the knee and get medical attention. Your health care provider will examine your knee. This may confirm that the kneecap is dislocated. A knee x-ray and, sometimes, MRIs should be done to make sure that the dislocation did not cause a broken bone or cartilage damage. If tests show that you have no damage, your knee will be placed into an immobilizer or cast to prevent you from moving it. you will need to wear this for several weeks (usually about 3 weeks). After this time, physical therapy can help build back your muscle strength and improve the knee's range of motion. If there is damage to the bone and cartilage, or if the kneecap continues to be unstable, you may need surgery to stabilize the kneecap. This may be done using arthroscopic or open surgery. **Bolding and italics mine to highlight description in thread**

I was 12. I have absolutely no recollection of what I was doing. I may have been hatching a plot for world domination that day, or I may have been playing in mud. Come to think of it, I may have been hatching a plot for world domination WHILE playing in mud...

For the home game against Pats*, do you think OBD could be persuaded to give these out as a fan give away to the lower bowl to pelt him with when he takes the field?

He has big... hands?

Breaking News. Brazilian authorities refute report of Brady cutting his thumb with scissors. Release gas station surveillance showing Brady catching his thumb in Ryan Lochte's zipper while pressing the "barrel of his gun" against Lochte's forehead.

Franken-Mallett

https://www.change.org/p/brian-follendorf-demand-the-buffalo-news-fire-jerry-sullivan 6 months and only 21 signatures. Either no one knew, or the Sully hate is all bluster.

sully in British English See all translations sully verb [ T ] UK ​ /ˈsʌl.i/ US ​ /ˈsʌl.i/ formal ​ to spoil something that is pure or someone's perfect reputation: His reputation, he said, had been unfairly sullied by half-truths and innuendos. ​ to make something dirty: No speck of dirt had ever sullied his hands. Thesaurus: synonyms and related words Damaging reputation besmirch black mark blacken blot blot your copybook idiom calumny drag sb's name through the mire/mud idiom give a dog a bad name idiom hurl/throw/sling mud at sb idiom impugn libel poison scurrilous show someone in a bad light idiom slander smear stab stain taint vilify Seems about right... Though I do think instead of sully, taint may be a more apropos moniker henceforth.

Fictional race car driver protagonist of Talladega Nights known for proclaiming "If you're not first you're last," a phrase his old man coined while high on peyote.

Man, it would suck to have their DC...

This John Clayton? Do you believe this man has ever even HELD a football?

Wearing your Sunday best McKelvin jersey, pull out the ring and start to take a knee outside in the driveway. Just as she's about to say yes, tear ass up the middle of the driveway and fumble the ring into a sewer grate. When she starts to scream about what an idiot you are and she's just about to throw a beer bottle at you, have her and your families come out of the bushes and spray paint "Will you marry me" on the lawn. Hopefully you're not really an idiot and you knew enough to fumble a fugazi into the drain and keep the real ring safe and sound, but then again you are wearing a McKelvin jersey... Congrats!

I'd throw Tampax at him... probably new and in the applicator, but you never know.

How you doin'? How's about you lose the geezer...

Undotted. Tees? Yep... uncrossed. He's a total handwriting bust who lacks attention to detail. Good thing his second grade class traded down before selecting him, getting an extra second round pick that they parlayed into little Suzy Alonso who won the district spelling bee and became quite the little legend before getting her pigtail caught on an electric fence while running away trying not to get caught passed out in the neighbor's sand box. Wait, what?

Fine. If you want to be Mr. Literal, you could throw 5-6 QBs in Ryan Fitzpatrick's helmet...

This Hartford Whalers coaching moment was brought to you by Nepotism, a new eau de toilette coming soon to stadiums near you.

Even though he's got more guts in his little finger than most of us do in our intestines, including the colon, I'm not sure he's ever really gotten over what happened at Macho Grande.

Methinks you know not of what you speak. This is a horrible injury, especially for a lineman. This is not a sprain. http://www.sportsinjuryclinic.net/sport-injuries/ankle-achilles-shin-pain/dislocated-ankle

Actually, the Pats*' footballs "sing" when they hold them wrong ("you got us, we confess, we videotape practices, we deflate balls, we use cheating formations that need new rules to point out the fact we're obviously cheating, Marcia has hair plugs, Marcia has a vagina, our former tight end was a mass murderer, our current tight end is a blithering idiot...), and then soothe their soulless egos when they hold them correctly ("everybody cheats, anything to win, other teams wish they had what it takes to win at all costs and still sleep at night, what asterisk, Coach Belichick will make it ok, he'll make it all go away, just sign here in blood and everything will be alright...).

If you've cut the top of your skull off, peeled off the protective membrane covering your brain, and drained all of shock absorbing CSF from your head, then yes, lightly slapping your forehead would make your brain do that.

Fixed.