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Johnny Hammersticks

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Everything posted by Johnny Hammersticks

  1. I think you bent the rules regarding communicating with your 18 year old self, but I’ll allow it because it’s a clever idea 😉
  2. Ooooh, good one ☝️ Edit: But when would you “plant” it and where?
  3. ....proceeds to watch 18 year old self dive in front of a speeding dump truck.
  4. I’m not too afraid of their running game, but they have a lot of weapons in the passing game. I’d expect a lot of 2 deep safeties vs Herbert and his bad haircut. Blitz occasionally to keep him off rhythm. Double Keenan Allen.
  5. 😂 By the damage done I’m going to assume it was a small shrubbery. I had so much blood in my eyes, I couldn’t see much until the restaurant owner gave me some kitchen towel on my way out the door. This girl was nuttier than squirrel turds.
  6. Mine was “don’t date Shannon.” Girl I dated waaaayyyy to long and caused me a lot of problems including a trip to the ER at the end of the relationship when she nearly severed my right ear by smashing a flower pot across my face. 😂
  7. Saw a bunch of variations of both of these. Some clever $ making ideas other than invest in <blank>. Most of these are lame. Do better, Bills fans.
  8. Idiot. It’s Walt Disney. Edit: ***** you @ExiledInIllinois!!!
  9. What was his area of entrepreneurial expertise?
  10. Saw this topic on Twitter and thought it would make for an interesting OTW thread. If you could go back in time and you could say ONLY 3 words to yourself at age 18, what would you say? I saw a lot of different, clever ideas...curious to see what you all come up with. I’ll post later what I posted on Twitter.
  11. Was this athlete a political activist?
  12. I don’t know man. I have very fond memories of the fries I used to get as a kid at the public pool. Came in a paper container with one of those wooden two-pronged fork thingies. I used to cover them with ketchup and go to town. Wash them down with a “junk yard dog” slushie. Ahhhh...the simple things 😊
  13. Yet another reason I hadn’t thought of to hoard condiment packets. A zombie apocalypse! I’ll be the crazy packet guy dipping my air fried chicken tenders in delicious Burger King zesty sauce while y’all are hungrily fending off the undead. Which one has the duffle bag sized penis swinging between his knees?
  14. If I had a Wawa near me I’d weight over 300 pounds and ride a tiny motorcycle. I was at a work conference in Philly last January and they had one across the street from my hotel. First stop every morning for a dank cup of coffee, a breakfast burrito, and a chocolate croissant. I also like the little paper packets of salt and pepper. Never know!
  15. I love condiment packets so much that I have an entire drawer devoted to them in my kitchen. Need some duck sauce for your french bread pizza at 2am? I gotcha covered. Marinating beef for jerky and realize you don’t have any soy sauce? No problem. More things should come in packets.
  16. I’d help her stretch out her hip flexors.
  17. I wonder what Peter Pan has planned to celebrate his (?) birthday? Probably a special costume and a good genital stomping. Some carrot cake perhaps...
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