Stl Bills Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Ok so my future inlaws are already being a major pain in the ass. My fiance's paren't just spend the last year wasting about 20k a piece in lawyer fees suing each other over the most rediculous law suit (I'll spare you the details on it) you've ever heard of. The judge just ruled the case "a wash" and neither party was awarded anything. Now we are trying to get married and they are acting like they don't have any money to help us with the wedding.....which I think they are being honest about it just pisses me off that they spent so much money arguing over "who helped the kids more" and now have put themselves in a position where they can't help there kids at all. Her mom seems to think that my parents should more or less split the wedding bill 50/50. My parents do have money, but IMO its besides the point.....they've helped us out on numerous occasions. When my fiance's car blew up they gave her $5000 for down payment on a car and they've been paying for 100% of her college (she's getting her nursing degree). I know my parent's will help, I just don't want to ask, nor do I think I should have to. My question is......is it even still common for the bride's parents to pay for the majority of the expenses? I know my parents would be more than willing to pay for everything that is typical of the groom's expenses I just don't think its right that her mom is suggesting that they split the bill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corp000085 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 just remember, when all else fails, demand a blumpkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
\GoBillsInDallas/ Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I have trouble believing that any woman out there would even want to talk to you, much less marry you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Ok so my future inlaws are already being a major pain in the ass. My fiance's paren't just spend the last year wasting about 20k a piece in lawyer fees suing each other over the most rediculous law suit (I'll spare you the details on it) you've ever heard of. The judge just ruled the case "a wash" and neither party was awarded anything. Now we are trying to get married and they are acting like they don't have any money to help us with the wedding.....which I think they are being honest about it just pisses me off that they spent so much money arguing over "who helped the kids more" and now have put themselves in a position where they can't help there kids at all. Her mom seems to think that my parents should more or less split the wedding bill 50/50. My parents do have money, but IMO its besides the point.....they've helped us out on numerous occasions. When my fiance's car blew up they gave her $5000 for down payment on a car and they've been paying for 100% of her college (she's getting her nursing degree). I know my parent's will help, I just don't want to ask, nor do I think I should have to. My question is......is it even still common for the bride's parents to pay for the majority of the expenses? I know my parents would be more than willing to pay for everything that is typical of the groom's expenses I just don't think its right that her mom is suggesting that they split the bill. Things have changed. Tradition always was that the bride's parents paid. More and more, it seems to have changed from that. Given your upset with your in laws, you may want to have them start your soon to be wife's car in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBud Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Do all parties a huge favor and have the smallest wedding that you and your wife only can afford or go see a JP and have a decent party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRC Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 My wife and I paid for everything with our wedding. No financial burden on either set of parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loyal2dagame Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Ok so my future inlaws are already being a major pain in the ass. My fiance's paren't just spend the last year wasting about 20k a piece in lawyer fees suing each other over the most rediculous law suit (I'll spare you the details on it) you've ever heard of. The judge just ruled the case "a wash" and neither party was awarded anything. Now we are trying to get married and they are acting like they don't have any money to help us with the wedding.....which I think they are being honest about it just pisses me off that they spent so much money arguing over "who helped the kids more" and now have put themselves in a position where they can't help there kids at all. Her mom seems to think that my parents should more or less split the wedding bill 50/50. My parents do have money, but IMO its besides the point.....they've helped us out on numerous occasions. When my fiance's car blew up they gave her $5000 for down payment on a car and they've been paying for 100% of her college (she's getting her nursing degree). I know my parent's will help, I just don't want to ask, nor do I think I should have to. My question is......is it even still common for the bride's parents to pay for the majority of the expenses? I know my parents would be more than willing to pay for everything that is typical of the groom's expenses I just don't think its right that her mom is suggesting that they split the bill. my parents and the inlaws split 50-50. worked out even better than only my wife's side paying as far as how nice things turned out, plus it gave my side input on the planning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HereComesTheReignAgain Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Weddingmoon! Get married at a tropical resort and only invite a few people. Throw an informal party when you get back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Ok so my future inlaws are already being a major pain in the ass. My fiance's paren't just spend the last year wasting about 20k a piece in lawyer fees suing each other over the most rediculous law suit (I'll spare you the details on it) you've ever heard of. The judge just ruled the case "a wash" and neither party was awarded anything. Now we are trying to get married and they are acting like they don't have any money to help us with the wedding.....which I think they are being honest about it just pisses me off that they spent so much money arguing over "who helped the kids more" and now have put themselves in a position where they can't help there kids at all. Her mom seems to think that my parents should more or less split the wedding bill 50/50. My parents do have money, but IMO its besides the point.....they've helped us out on numerous occasions. When my fiance's car blew up they gave her $5000 for down payment on a car and they've been paying for 100% of her college (she's getting her nursing degree). I know my parent's will help, I just don't want to ask, nor do I think I should have to. My question is......is it even still common for the bride's parents to pay for the majority of the expenses? I know my parents would be more than willing to pay for everything that is typical of the groom's expenses I just don't think its right that her mom is suggesting that they split the bill. My answer is that you spoke exclusively about $$$ and not a word about your betrothed and the life you hope to have with her, she with you. You both should go somewhere and figure some things out. And be mindful, that a wedding is not about you. It is about people that are happy for you and took time to show up - so none of this "I'm the most important thing on Earth" crap. Also - instruct your wedding party - Best Man, Maid of Honor, the others etc., about their ambassadorial duties. They will go out and deliver drinks to old women who would never sidle up to a bar, they will visit every table, and there they will invite young and old to the dance floor. They will deliver snacks and cake to the tables after the meal. Your wedding guests are just that - your guests. Treat them accordingly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 or go see a JP and have a decent party. You really think going to Vegas to watch JP play in a UFL game will be helpful??? Oh, they will be in Vegas I guess... And getting married there can be cheap... (and tacky) My in-laws paid for the entire wedding. My parents paid for the rehearsal dinner. Very traditional. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kegtapr Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 How about you pay for it yourself? I don't understand the expectation of parents paying for anything after high school. If they offer then awesome. Otherwise, pay for the wedding YOU want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeFerguson Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Here is my own personal philosophy: The only time anybody's parents should pay for a wedding is if the two newlyweds are 21 years old or younger and they haven't had sex yet. If you've already put the screws to your bride-to-be, then her parents don't owe you anything else...you've taken everything they have. Otherwise, pay for it yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Why get married when you get the milk for free? elope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Do all parties a huge favor and have the smallest wedding that you and your wife only can afford or go see a JP and have a decent party. This is essentially what my wife and I did ... absolutely no regrets. My in-laws were /are great so I feel blessed. We just did not want to stick them with an expense that they really did not need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Just say "screw it", and go to the courthouse. If your fiancee's up to it, of course. Weddings are for brides, anyway. I never met a groom that really cared - the smart ones just seem to say "Yeah, sounds good dear" and agree to whatever the bride wants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booster4324 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 My answer is that you spoke exclusively about $$$ and not a word about your betrothed and the life you hope to have with her, she with you. You both should go somewhere and figure some things out. And be mindful, that a wedding is not about you. It is about people that are happy for you and took time to show up - so none of this "I'm the most important thing on Earth" crap. Also - instruct your wedding party - Best Man, Maid of Honor, the others etc., about their ambassadorial duties. They will go out and deliver drinks to old women who would never sidle up to a bar, they will visit every table, and there they will invite young and old to the dance floor. They will deliver snacks and cake to the tables after the meal. Your wedding guests are just that - your guests. Treat them accordingly. More advice for you to do it yourself. Pay for it yourself (if you can), make sure the wife is happy and don't worry about anyone else. If they aren't paying for it, they get zero input, which is nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 My advice. Get married pay for it anyway that doesn't cause problems. But here's the thing. Move your wife away from her family and as far away as possible otherwise she'll turn into her mother and that sounds like it would suck. We got married and moved 3000 miles away ASAP. My wife is nothing like her mother and I atribute that to the fact that she's been nowhere near her for about the last 30 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayFinkle Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Aren't you the same dude who asking the board for advice 6 months ago on how long you need to wait before banging your buddy's ex-girl? I would recommend a prenup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOBILLS78 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 My question is......is it even still common for the bride's parents to pay for the majority of the expenses? I know my parents would be more than willing to pay for everything that is typical of the groom's expenses I just don't think its right that her mom is suggesting that they split the bill. I'm not sure if it's common, but my wife and I paid for our own wedding last year. My family paid for the booze. No hard feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I'm not sure if it's common, but my wife and I paid for our own wedding last year. My family paid for the booze. No hard feelings. Wait I'm confused. I thought you and your wife paid for it, then you said you family paid for the booze. What's left to pay for after the booze? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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