When to end a pet's life

[In space no one can hear]

First off, I am sorry you are going through this right now, in my opinion this is the only tough part of having a pet you love dearly.

To try and answer your question about knowing when it's time-I really don't think there is a magical "you'll know when it's time". I had a cat as a boy that ended up living to be 19-I kept on making appointments to take him to the vet and canceling, I loved him so much, and truth be told after looking at the pictures of him that were taken around the time I had him put to sleep- I was embarrassed and ashamed I held on to him so long. I promised myself I would never do that again.

 

A year after my cat died I got my best friend forever Nigel.He was a basenji dog who lived to be 17. He died 2 years ago this spring. Having to "put him to sleep" was the hardest decision I ever had to make. His spirit was so large and I loved him so much- but I was determined to honor his spirit and by not holding onto him too long.

The best thing I ever did is to stay with him when the doctor gave him the shot. I just can't even imagine not being there with him. I mean, why say your goodbyes and walk out and leave you dog with a vet and a vet tech in his/her final moments? I wouldn't do that to other family members-why would I do it to a family member I consider to be my best friend?

I held Nigel on my lap-he felt my love and support to his last breath-it is the best gift you can give, and will give you a sense of completeness.

[stuckincincy]

stuckincincy, I would agree that it's honorable and important to be there so they have a friend to the very end. But being there was so much harder to take. Even now, just conjuring these memories I'm getting all sobby and drainy. But many of the variables are changed --- expectation of the father vs. shock for the son, having had the son to cushion the first loss probably was big.

 

It's not as bad as you might imagine. They first administer a strong sedative. Over 10 minutes or so, your pet progressively gets calmer and calmer - their pains dissolve at last, and they lapse into a peaceful unconsciousness. In your lap, or you with it on the floor is it's a large dog. You caress it, pet it. Your eyes meet steadily for the last time. On their eyes is the look of relief...you will see that. Like people, they prefer to have their hands (paws) held at the end by loved ones... Finally, the heart-stopping injection is made.

 

Of course you will be weepy. As so you should, James.

[Bmwolf21]

It's not as bad as you might imagine. They first administer a strong sedative. Over 10 minutes or so, your pet progressively gets calmer and calmer - their pains dissolve at last, and they lapse into a peaceful unconsciousness. In your lap, or you with it on the floor is it's a large dog. You caress it, pet it. Your eyes meet steadily for the last time. On their eyes is the look of relief...you will see that. Like people, they prefer to have their hands (paws) held at the end by loved ones... Finally, the heart-stopping injection is made.

 

Of course you will be weepy. As so you should, James.

I look at my five-year-old boxer mix and wonder if I'll ever be strong enough to go through that. Just reading your post brings a lump to my throat.

[BuffaloBud]

I put my 13yo lab Tex down last Father's Day. Helped to some extent that our vet is a close personal friend and neighbor. Tex went through displasia and congestive heart failure towards the end with a pretty good rebound with some meds the previous fall.

 

Tipoff was the rapid loss of appetite and loss of control in the house. Procedure is not fun by any stretch, but for all the unquestioned love she gave us it was the least that I could do to be there for her in her final moments. Her eyes told me that she was ready and understood. What Cincy said is spot on.

 

Be understanding, to each other.

[Chandler#81]

For a little different perspective, my wife is a vet tech at an all feline clinic. Her -and her co-workers- biggest 'beef' is carrying a patient too far because their people don't want to face the inevitable. She says 'we drain these people of all kinds of money for meds, remove cancerous areas like ears, eyes, limbs just because the people can't let go. ' She claims most of these patients are in absolute misery..

 

On her behalf I'll share: Do what's best for the pet.

[UConn James]

It's not as bad as you might imagine. They first administer a strong sedative. Over 10 minutes or so, your pet progressively gets calmer and calmer - their pains dissolve at last, and they lapse into a peaceful unconsciousness. In your lap, or you with it on the floor is it's a large dog. You caress it, pet it. Your eyes meet steadily for the last time. On their eyes is the look of relief...you will see that. Like people, they prefer to have their hands (paws) held at the end by loved ones... Finally, the heart-stopping injection is made.

 

Of course you will be weepy. As so you should, James.

 

I wasn't talking about the scientific process. The drugs they use and dosages are well calculated and administered to make the death peaceful. His went much quicker than that, the sedative and the barbiturate, one after the other. His state was already progressed, they had him on a strong dose of morphine. He had been biting at his front paws --- vet said that was similar to how if you have a headache, hitting your head (say, against a desk, gently) distracts the aching, throbbing pain with a new easier-to-take pain in another spot. No doubt in my mind that it was the right thing, and it ended his suffering.

 

It's just the being there and the finality of seeing them go. He's gone, crossed over the thin line b/w life and death, no coming back. It creates memories that you can't take back, and it will be your last memory of your pet. Some people can take it fine, for others, seeing it actually happen is difficult to deal with. Affects us all in different ways. For sure, it's not the only memory, but the final memory stays with me strong and for a while --- and when I think back on it --- just wrecks me. I've had a hard time of it, and get a new depth of meaning for Frost's "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening." I think we may be getting a pup in the spring.

[stuckincincy]

It's just the being there and the finality of seeing them go.

 

 

Most folks know that you can never do enough for the dead. Ever. We always re-visit it, most all have what-if-I-did, why didn't-I-do, etc.

 

Be with your pet. For them firstly, and also for some peace for yourself.

[Fezmid]

Ok, sorry, just sounded weird when I read it. Speaking of money though, does anyone think pet insurance is worth the money? I heard it's usually about $200-300 dollars a year with a deductible. I have Dachshunds and I always fear for their backs. I don't want to change the subject, but was just curious if anyone has pet insurance...

I wouldn't. Save $300/year yourself, in an interest bearing account that's marked just for the pet. After 12 years, you'll have $3,600 plus interest. If it costs more than that to help the pet, then I'd say it's time to say goodbye anyway.

 

That's my opinion, anyway.

[millbank]

I have appreciated reading of those making comments and their obvious love for their dogs, cats, and others.

It really is such a individual decision regarding being with your Pet, if his or her death comes by way of euthanize.

I am not ashamed to admit having to go lay on my bed and having a cry. Some in sadness , some in just remembering the joy each did bring.

I appreciate all , your love and appreciation for the blessings and gift of our special friends. My goodness i can remember looking at my Sheltie Sam, and him standing wagging his tail , looking into his beaming eyes. The vet telling me it was time to let go, me looking back at Sam and telling him, "come on Sam, try hard, they want me to kill you." ( he could not lay down anymore as his organs were pushing against his trachea , that when he lay down he could not breath). We had spent gladly many thousand on medications to allow him more days. We as family talked that night and decided we all would go to vet. That evening I held Sam upright, he died in my arms. I guess I just don't have a opinion for others on the matter.

But God yes , how it does hurt.

I buried Sam the next day. We wrapped in in our best Quilt and pillow, each family member placed a item of theirs in box. We have stone for marking outside for him , along with others that came before. This on are family farm. I walk past everyday, and remember the many special special times.

[KD in CA]

We have a Sheltie just shy of 12 years. In the past few months, we have had her back and forth to the Vet, trying every pain medication known to help her cope with her arthritis and hip dysplasia. Nothing has helped and now she struggles to climb even one step from the walkway to the porch. She has been urinating and defecating in the house when we are gone for any prolonged period of time during the day. So, my question is, how does one know when it is time to humanely put an end to their suffering. Everyone has said, you will know, the dog will tell you in her own way. I'm not convinced by this notion. By all accounts, she still "appears" fairly happy and wants to be in our company; however deep down we know she is in tremendous pain. The reality is, taking care of her is becoming a challenge and for a lack of better words, she is becoming a burden. This is why we are struggling with the decision. We don't want to end her life prematurely and then question whether our motives were selfish, however we also don't want to selfishly prolong her life because we are so emotionally attached to her…..talk about a double edge sword. Anyone here share some of their own experiences in how they arrived to the final decision?

 

I've had to do it too and it sucks, but from what you've described here I'd say it is time now. If she is in pain and can no longer do what dogs like to do (run, jump and play), she is probably not enjoying life any longer.

 

You have my sympathies.

[Ramius]

Good stuff by everyone in this thread. I've got an almost 14 year old lab back home, so i feel for everyone. My girl had her dalmatian put down last year about this time. Not the brightest bulb, but a happy fun loving dog that would sit there and be happy if you just talked to her. She'd just look at you while you talked, wag her tail and sit there. If you stopped, she'd paw you or nudge you. I've never seen a dog that just loved a voice before. It was tough when they put her down. The dog's back had gone out a week or so earlier, and she could barely sit or move around. They couldn't let the her go on like that, so they did what needed to be done. Not an easy task for anyone involved. To me, its more about the pet's quality of life than the people's feelings. Show your pet how much they mean by not forcing them to hang on too long.

[ricojes]

I have appreciated reading of those making comments and their obvious love for their dogs, cats, and others.

It really is such a individual decision regarding being with your Pet, if his or her death comes by way of euthanize.

I am not ashamed to admit having to go lay on my bed and having a cry. Some in sadness , some in just remembering the joy each did bring.

I appreciate all , your love and appreciation for the blessings and gift of our special friends. My goodness i can remember looking at my Sheltie Sam, and him standing wagging his tail , looking into his beaming eyes. The vet telling me it was time to let go, me looking back at Sam and telling him, "come on Sam, try hard, they want me to kill you." ( he could not lay down anymore as his organs were pushing against his trachea , that when he lay down he could not breath). We had spent gladly many thousand on medications to allow him more days. We as family talked that night and decided we all would go to vet. That evening I held Sam upright, he died in my arms. I guess I just don't have a opinion for others on the matter.

But God yes , how it does hurt.

I buried Sam the next day. We wrapped in in our best Quilt and pillow, each family member placed a item of theirs in box. We have stone for marking outside for him , along with others that came before. This on are family farm. I walk past everyday, and remember the many special special times.

Being a dog lover, that sure brought a tear to my eye. I'm looking at my 2 best friends now and dread the day it will come to that awful decision. I guess it's like anything in life, appreciate what you have today as you never know if you will have it tomorrow. I recently read Rick Pitino's book and he references the parable of the precious present, words to live by IMHO....

[BuffaloBill]

We have a Sheltie just shy of 12 years. In the past few months, we have had her back and forth to the Vet, trying every pain medication known to help her cope with her arthritis and hip dysplasia. Nothing has helped and now she struggles to climb even one step from the walkway to the porch. She has been urinating and defecating in the house when we are gone for any prolonged period of time during the day. So, my question is, how does one know when it is time to humanely put an end to their suffering. Everyone has said, you will know, the dog will tell you in her own way. I’m not convinced by this notion. By all accounts, she still “appears” fairly happy and wants to be in our company; however deep down we know she is in tremendous pain. The reality is, taking care of her is becoming a challenge and for a lack of better words, she is becoming a burden. This is why we are struggling with the decision. We don’t want to end her life prematurely and then question whether our motives were selfish, however we also don’t want to selfishly prolong her life because we are so emotionally attached to her…..talk about a double edge sword. Anyone here share some of their own experiences in how they arrived to the final decision?

 

 

We had to put a cat down last year .. she was like a child to my wife so she took it very hard. As to when ...

 

When the dog is in enough pain that it can not move comfortably on its own

When it eats very little

When it can't or will not maintain regular contact with family members .. goes off on its own frequently

Listen to your vet .. they know it is heartbreaking and will try to do the right thing

 

I wish you well. I know this is a difficult situation.

[Johnny Coli]

Has anyone had two pets, possibly brothers from the same litter that are very attached to each other, and one has to be put down? Not anything we're going to have to deal with for a long, long time (hopefully), but I don't think either one would last too long without the other. They're pretty inseperable and I've wondered what will happen when they get on in years.

[VABills]

I have a lab myself. Only 4 but someday that day will come. I had a friend just go through it and he kept it up for nearly a year. Dog had several problems and couldn't really go outside by himself. Had to replace his rugs once and ready a second time. he finally put his dog down when he kept using the statement it's about quality of life. Dog was happy, wagging his tail, etc...

 

I said to him one day, it wasn't about the dogs quality of life, but also his, and his family. They had no life becuase they had to constantly monitor the dog. he had the dog put down that weekend.

[John from Riverside]

Samson let me know when it was time.....

 

God was that one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

[VABills]

Has anyone had two pets, possibly brothers from the same litter that are very attached to each other, and one has to be put down? Not anything we're going to have to deal with for a long, long time (hopefully), but I don't think either one would last too long without the other. They're pretty inseperable and I've wondered what will happen when they get on in years.

In about 3 years add another dog to the mix. That way when one is put down the other will have a long time companion. That is what my friend does, he adds another dog to his mix every 3-4 years that way he usually has 3 dogs going and one is not overly distraught when when one is removed.

[Steely Dan]

It's always tough to lose a member of the family . . .

 

We had a golden retriever mix back in the day who had arthritis and hip problems. We knew it was time when she could no longer squat to pee. She kept falling down and could not get back up. Her hips were so sensitive that she would snap at us when we would grab her near her back legs to help her get back up.

 

She was 13 . . .

 

Condolences in advance for your loss . . .

 

My sisters dog did the same thing and the dog had been my brother in-law's dog longer than he knew my sister and he just couldn't bear to take the dog to the vet so my sister had to do it. A few weeks later the cat that she had had before meeting him had to be taken in by her too.

 

They got a kitten and named it Raven because he's black and they are Raven's fans. I told them they had to dye him with a little purple to truly make him Ravenesque but they balked at the idea.

 

I had a cat that I gave to my brother and about 5 years ago he had to put that animal down because it was having seizures but it lived for 15 years.

 

It's a tremendously hard decision to make but you have to look at it objectively. Do what you really know is right and God bless.

 

After that doggy passes away go and get a puppy or a rescued dog. You'll never replace your dog but you'll be building another relationship that I'm sure your dog would be proud of.

[aussiew]

It's not as bad as you might imagine. They first administer a strong sedative. Over 10 minutes or so, your pet progressively gets calmer and calmer - their pains dissolve at last, and they lapse into a peaceful unconsciousness. In your lap, or you with it on the floor is it's a large dog. You caress it, pet it. Your eyes meet steadily for the last time. On their eyes is the look of relief...you will see that. Like people, they prefer to have their hands (paws) held at the end by loved ones... Finally, the heart-stopping injection is made.

 

Of course you will be weepy. As so you should, James.

 

Exactly how I put my cat down last year. It felt like a real relief along with the sadness. It's such a dignified way to go - I wish people could do that.

 

Please don't feel guilt for the burden - perhaps that's your brain's way of telling you it's time.

[PromoTheRobot]

We had to put down two dogs. "Angus" a scottie/poodle got cancer at 9. The vet told us when Ang was be in too much pain. Our next dog "Elmo", a schnauzer/poodle lived till he was 13 but in his last year became so unstable to the point of being a danger to us and others. Fine one minute, snarling uncontrollable rage the next. That was tough because Elmo was healthy enough physically to keep going but the dog would go berserk without warning. Either way it's never easy. I cried like a baby each time.

 

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