John from Riverside Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 It has always been easy for me to figure out what to do with my son....he is virtually maintenance free in a lot of things....good student, other kids dont mess with him....good kid.... My 10 year old daugher on the other hand I am at a loss...usually my wife handles it but she can get a little crazy when people do stupid crap and so I become the level headed parent. A little background. 6 months ago I came home and found out that my daughter had been suspended form school for a couple of days for fighting. Now....this is just a flat out oddity because my daughter is NOT the physical type....the exact opposite of my son actually, but she is a awesome kid. So I go to her to get the story and it was confirmed by some other kids I talked to who were there.....basically another girl at her school (black not that it makes any difference one way or the other) who I guess had not taken a liking to her when she arrived from another school or something like that but my daughter never mentioned it....as time went on things escelated and ended up with a day where this girl waited for her after she got out of class and struck her. Since the principle wasn't there and there were enough witnesses to say they were fighting (the black girls friends but more on that in a minute) they both got a 2 day suspension and were supposed to stay away from each other. I went down to the school to find out what was going on...the principle knows my daughter and knew damn well that this was not like her.....but he had to be "fair" about the situation even though (and he made the mistake of letting this slip in our conversation which became very heated after) that this girl was basically in and out of trouble even at this young age probably due to her home life. I left the principles office PO'd, angry, and feeling a little helpless....the principle assured me that he would be on the look out for any more trouble. Fast forward to this morning. My daughter didn't want to go to school and was faking sick....I eventually got out of her that she was scared because she was being threatened and harrassed by this girl and her friends (or should I say the witnesses of the "fight" that had happend months back) my wife went to the school to talk to the principle yet again about it and even while she was sitting there trying to explain the situation the "gang" walked by mad dogging her once again.....the principle pretended not to notice which flat out infuriated my wife. What to do? Serious answers only please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyBillsFan Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Heres a fact John, You need to contact the school and tell them you will take the issue to court. That will solve the problem on school grounds. Go see a suit and get the phones ringing. Also, you may want to notify the school board. Last thing schools needs is money taken from them. Now off school grounds. Teach her how to use mace and use it if she is in any type of physical danger. If she is having that many problems then its your right to protect her. First thing though is to contact the parents (record the phone call) and warn them about the situation and whats going to happen if the problem is not taken care of. Most parents are morons and tell you to $%^^ off because their child does not do that type of stuff. Just some help.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B Rob Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 It has always been easy for me to figure out what to do with my son....he is virtually maintenance free in a lot of things....good student, other kids dont mess with him....good kid.... My 10 year old daugher on the other hand I am at a loss...usually my wife handles it but she can get a little crazy when people do stupid crap and so I become the level headed parent. A little background. 6 months ago I came home and found out that my daughter had been suspended form school for a couple of days for fighting. Now....this is just a flat out oddity because my daughter is NOT the physical type....the exact opposite of my son actually, but she is a awesome kid. So I go to her to get the story and it was confirmed by some other kids I talked to who were there.....basically another girl at her school (black not that it makes any difference one way or the other) who I guess had not taken a liking to her when she arrived from another school or something like that but my daughter never mentioned it....as time went on things escelated and ended up with a day where this girl waited for her after she got out of class and struck her. Since the principle wasn't there and there were enough witnesses to say they were fighting (the black girls friends but more on that in a minute) they both got a 2 day suspension and were supposed to stay away from each other. I went down to the school to find out what was going on...the principle knows my daughter and knew damn well that this was not like her.....but he had to be "fair" about the situation even though (and he made the mistake of letting this slip in our conversation which became very heated after) that this girl was basically in and out of trouble even at this young age probably due to her home life. I left the principles office PO'd, angry, and feeling a little helpless....the principle assured me that he would be on the look out for any more trouble. Fast forward to this morning. My daughter didn't want to go to school and was faking sick....I eventually got out of her that she was scared because she was being threatened and harrassed by this girl and her friends (or should I say the witnesses of the "fight" that had happend months back) my wife went to the school to talk to the principle yet again about it and even while she was sitting there trying to explain the situation the "gang" walked by mad dogging her once again.....the principle pretended not to notice which flat out infuriated my wife. What to do? Serious answers only please 614350[/snapback] Truley only one thing to do.You have to your local board of education and file a complaint to someone in a higher position.Who knows maybe your situation was not the first this principle has ruled like this and may have other complaints similar to yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 The first though in my mind was to contact the parents.... It may sound rather childish but the first thing I wanted to do was take a pound of flesh from whoever was supposed to the the "man" in the house and see if it translates into "stay away from his daughter" instant gratification for me. Apparently this girl was either born under a rock or has parents that wont come to the school....because they didn't come up when their daugher was suspended and from what I can tell the girl walks back and forth to school from the "projects" in Hemet. The principle is a friggen jerkoff and I have no problem going through the hoops of putting heat on him..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Real Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Consider your options. If the situation is dangerous to her well being and she is going to be hindered in her learning experience it's time to find a way to resolve the scenario or move to another school district. If the issue isn't being handled by the proper authorities, ala the principle, then why would she feel comfortable there? I'm not much a fan of defending children (I think to one degree on another they are all guilty. ) but very little is going to be solved by staying and having continued worries because of the principal's lack of concern. You have to determine the severity of the scenario and consider it's affect on your daughter. If you deem the scenario fixable reach out to the parents of this little girl. If not get to steppin and before the situation gets out of hand. I'm sure most of the older members here will tell you she should probabily go to school with a bat or something. Try to let her resolve her own problems so she doesn't rely on you her whole life. Yet, in my opinion protect her to the best of your ability and take no chance on the lack of parenting of others. The_Real Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeFerguson Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 It has always been easy for me to figure out what to do with my son....he is virtually maintenance free in a lot of things....good student, other kids dont mess with him....good kid.... My 10 year old daugher on the other hand I am at a loss...usually my wife handles it but she can get a little crazy when people do stupid crap and so I become the level headed parent. A little background. 6 months ago I came home and found out that my daughter had been suspended form school for a couple of days for fighting. Now....this is just a flat out oddity because my daughter is NOT the physical type....the exact opposite of my son actually, but she is a awesome kid. So I go to her to get the story and it was confirmed by some other kids I talked to who were there.....basically another girl at her school (black not that it makes any difference one way or the other) who I guess had not taken a liking to her when she arrived from another school or something like that but my daughter never mentioned it....as time went on things escelated and ended up with a day where this girl waited for her after she got out of class and struck her. Since the principle wasn't there and there were enough witnesses to say they were fighting (the black girls friends but more on that in a minute) they both got a 2 day suspension and were supposed to stay away from each other. I went down to the school to find out what was going on...the principle knows my daughter and knew damn well that this was not like her.....but he had to be "fair" about the situation even though (and he made the mistake of letting this slip in our conversation which became very heated after) that this girl was basically in and out of trouble even at this young age probably due to her home life. I left the principles office PO'd, angry, and feeling a little helpless....the principle assured me that he would be on the look out for any more trouble. Fast forward to this morning. My daughter didn't want to go to school and was faking sick....I eventually got out of her that she was scared because she was being threatened and harrassed by this girl and her friends (or should I say the witnesses of the "fight" that had happend months back) my wife went to the school to talk to the principle yet again about it and even while she was sitting there trying to explain the situation the "gang" walked by mad dogging her once again.....the principle pretended not to notice which flat out infuriated my wife. What to do? Serious answers only please 614350[/snapback] You never should have allowed your daughter to be suspended the first time. Take action, the principal is clearly inept. Similar things happened to me and my brother at our high school, all due to a guilty until proven innocent policy used by the bonehead administrators. If what you say is true about the principal, you should demand the he/she be fired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick in RaChaCha Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 John I did some quick research on this and here is what I found: It is required by law that your child's school has an anti-bullying policy which sets out how it deals with incidents of bullying. You have a right to know about this policy which is as much for parents as for staff and pupils. Write the school board and principal and tell them that you want the bullying stop or you will take action. If your child tells you they are experiencing bullying at school, there are certain people you can speak with in order to resolve the problem. Initially, you should write to the head teacher and express your concerns. Try to work and resolve the issue. If that does not help, you could then write to the Chair of Governors, and then to the local authority (LA). If the problem still remains unresolved, the Department for Education and Skills can investigate the allegations with the school. You could also ring the helpline at Parentline Plus on 0808 800 2222 for general information Hope that helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick in RaChaCha Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 The first though in my mind was to contact the parents.... It may sound rather childish but the first thing I wanted to do was take a pound of flesh from whoever was supposed to the the "man" in the house and see if it translates into "stay away from his daughter" instant gratification for me. Apparently this girl was either born under a rock or has parents that wont come to the school....because they didn't come up when their daugher was suspended and from what I can tell the girl walks back and forth to school from the "projects" in Hemet. The principle is a friggen jerkoff and I have no problem going through the hoops of putting heat on him..... 614357[/snapback] BTW everyting I read on line stress the point that you should NOT talk to the bully or his/her's family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in San Diego Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 This may be an unpopular answer but Bullies only pick on people they can get away with it. Your daughter needs to pop this beotch in the nose whenever confronted by her. It will put an end to the problem. This girl will not harass your daughter if she gets hit in the nose each time she pesters your daughter. Believe it or not, my son was being harassed by a bully black girl in grade 6. (This year) He told her if she didn't back off he would kick the crap out of her. She has left him alone since. It's ugly and painful, but it is the cure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catholic Guilt Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Heres a fact John, You need to contact the school and tell them you will take the issue to court. That will solve the problem on school grounds. Go see a suit and get the phones ringing. Also, you may want to notify the school board. Last thing schools needs is money taken from them. Now off school grounds. Teach her how to use mace and use it if she is in any type of physical danger. If she is having that many problems then its your right to protect her. First thing though is to contact the parents (record the phone call) and warn them about the situation and whats going to happen if the problem is not taken care of. Most parents are morons and tell you to $%^^ off because their child does not do that type of stuff. Just some help.... 614354[/snapback] I agree with NavyBillsFan. I would also see if your local media is interested in your story. You'll find school administrators, shepards of the public, don't like to answer direct questions. School boards are good places to vent. Again, public forums are your friend. Make some noise and get some action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Private school, or ask for a transfer to another public school in the district. First off this principle has already shown several times they are inept. Any amount of lawsit, etc... is going to take time, money on your part, and will just make revenge against you and your family by the teachers and principle in the school worse while it is all going on. The public school should accomodate a school transfer pretty easily, and private school also is a quicker way. Sorry but kids nowadays are acting out a lot of what they see on TV and if this girl and friends are already agressive, you don't want your daughter there. There are plenty of stories anymore where teens are stabbing each other, there was the star basketball player that we discussed (She had scored over 100 poiunts in a game) here who didn't like a 13 year old from the neighborhood so her and her friends break her leg outside of a local store. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EZC-Boston Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Principal...he's your pal... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Principal...he's your pal... 614415[/snapback] It's the principle that I was trying to get across. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted March 1, 2006 Author Share Posted March 1, 2006 Private school, or ask for a transfer to another public school in the district. First off this principle has already shown several times they are inept. Any amount of lawsit, etc... is going to take time, money on your part, and will just make revenge against you and your family by the teachers and principle in the school worse while it is all going on. The public school should accomodate a school transfer pretty easily, and private school also is a quicker way. Sorry but kids nowadays are acting out a lot of what they see on TV and if this girl and friends are already agressive, you don't want your daughter there. There are plenty of stories anymore where teens are stabbing each other, there was the star basketball player that we discussed (She had scored over 100 poiunts in a game) here who didn't like a 13 year old from the neighborhood so her and her friends break her leg outside of a local store. 614402[/snapback] The problem is this is supposed to be the best school (that isn't private) in this area. There are actually worse ones in our district. At the end of this year she is outa there and on to middle school....problem is these kids are probably ALSO on their way there as well. One of the things I really regret doing was letting my wife pull my daughter out of Karate.....her confidence was always high when she was doing that and she didn't appear to have these problems.....and her instructor is great. She got pulled because her grades were starting to dip. I am not saying that my girl should go attack this group...but the first thing I did today was put my foot down and tell my wife I was taking her back. It was a good feeling to see my daughers and her instructor smile when I pulled up to his dojo. This doensn't take away that I need to act and I will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Honestly if I had a daughter I'd have her in a Brazilian Jujitsu class as soon as they'd take her. Self confidence is a big part of being bullied and most "gangs" won't mess with someone who can defend themselves. As far as the school thing, good luck. I don't know that there's a good answer for that mess. I'd probably end up in jail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 not to be a jerk here, but I am still trying to find out why it was important to bring up she was black, twice. It has always been easy for me to figure out what to do with my son....he is virtually maintenance free in a lot of things....good student, other kids dont mess with him....good kid.... My 10 year old daugher on the other hand I am at a loss...usually my wife handles it but she can get a little crazy when people do stupid crap and so I become the level headed parent. A little background. 6 months ago I came home and found out that my daughter had been suspended form school for a couple of days for fighting. Now....this is just a flat out oddity because my daughter is NOT the physical type....the exact opposite of my son actually, but she is a awesome kid. So I go to her to get the story and it was confirmed by some other kids I talked to who were there.....basically another girl at her school (black not that it makes any difference one way or the other) who I guess had not taken a liking to her when she arrived from another school or something like that but my daughter never mentioned it....as time went on things escelated and ended up with a day where this girl waited for her after she got out of class and struck her. Since the principle wasn't there and there were enough witnesses to say they were fighting (the black girls friends but more on that in a minute) they both got a 2 day suspension and were supposed to stay away from each other. I went down to the school to find out what was going on...the principle knows my daughter and knew damn well that this was not like her.....but he had to be "fair" about the situation even though (and he made the mistake of letting this slip in our conversation which became very heated after) that this girl was basically in and out of trouble even at this young age probably due to her home life. I left the principles office PO'd, angry, and feeling a little helpless....the principle assured me that he would be on the look out for any more trouble. Fast forward to this morning. My daughter didn't want to go to school and was faking sick....I eventually got out of her that she was scared because she was being threatened and harrassed by this girl and her friends (or should I say the witnesses of the "fight" that had happend months back) my wife went to the school to talk to the principle yet again about it and even while she was sitting there trying to explain the situation the "gang" walked by mad dogging her once again.....the principle pretended not to notice which flat out infuriated my wife. What to do? Serious answers only please 614350[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted March 1, 2006 Author Share Posted March 1, 2006 To me race is not an issue....just trying to give a visual of the situation... My daughter is white.....the ones messing with her are black (the WHOLE group)....and I have a principle who is acting like he doesn't want to act possibly because of a discrimination issue...... But in truth I have no friggen idea of what is going through his mind other then he is a complete @sshole who wont do what needs to be done. NOTE: Poojer...I see where you were going with this....trust me...race is not an issue around our house....my family is hispanic (my daugher looks white but is half) and as a coach my kids mingle interracially every day. I just dont want you to get the wrong idea. Now if you think I am accusing these actions because of how, where, and her parents upbringing.....then I am giulty of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 hey no problem, i know you, from here and I am not implying anything, and frankly if you have a problem with race, I would hope and expect that you be honest about it. I would rather hear someone say that they feel it is a race issue, which indeed it might be, than to dance around the subject. I was just playing devils advocate To me race is not an issue....just trying to give a visual of the situation... My daughter is white.....the ones messing with her are black (the WHOLE group)....and I have a principle who is acting like he doesn't want to act possibly because of a discrimination issue...... But in truth I have no friggen idea of what is going through his mind other then he is a complete @sshole who wont do what needs to be done. NOTE: Poojer...I see where you were going with this....trust me...race is not an issue around our house....my family is hispanic (my daugher looks white but is half) and as a coach my kids mingle interracially every day. I just dont want you to get the wrong idea. Now if you think I am accusing these actions because of how, where, and her parents upbringing.....then I am giulty of that. 614474[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frez Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Hope everything works out for your daughter. Have you asked her what she thinks needs to be done? I wish I had the correct answer for you but I don't. I'm just glad my kids are in a small school district. Your a good dad for taking care of her so well. My hat is off to you Dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubes Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 As far as the school thing, good luck. I don't know that there's a good answer for that mess. I'd probably end up in jail. 614436[/snapback] This is one of the main reasons I won't have kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IBTG81 Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 This is what I would do... Go to the school, find this "gang" (I hate when kids try and act tough), and threaten them. Say if your daughter is touched, you will beat the ever living sh-- out of them. Of course, if you do that, make sure there are no witnesses. The other approach would be to threaten a lawsuit. There is nothing more a school district hates than bad publicity/losing money. Good luck. Keep us updated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarolinaBill99 Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Contact every one of her teachers and explain the situation nicely. Ask if they can document any situation that they see either in class or the hallways when they are monitoring. Contact the school board or superintendent and put some heat on the principal's boss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taterhill Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 This is what I would do... Go to the school, find this "gang" (I hate when kids try and act tough), and threaten them. Say if your daughter is touched, you will beat the ever living sh-- out of them. Of course, if you do that, make sure there are no witnesses. Good luck. Keep us updated. 614579[/snapback] I hope this is a joke... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRC Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 After reading over some of the responses in this thread, I have a few comments: 1) Going to the school board or Superintendent is a good idea. Keep working your way up the ladder until you get satisfaction and results. Lawyer up. You would be suprised what a $25 letter from a lawyer can accomplish. 2) Do not go to the local media. All this is going to do is make things worse for your daughter. The public embarassment that it would cause her would be too great. People who may have been sympathetic to her, may turn on her. Don't do it. 3) Do not go to the parents of the bully(s). This is a waste of time and will only make things worse for your daughter. The parents will tell the child and the child will become worse towards your daughter. 4) I like the mace idea. Also, try to teach her things that can give her more confidence. You said that she took karate. Good, but it sounds like she no longer has the confidence. Talk to her about karate. Have her tell you about things she learned in class. Have her show you things she learned in class. Ask her, "what would you do if a person attacked you like this..." Have her show you. This may trigger the confidence that she used to have while taking karate. As others mentioned, confidence is one of the best ways to defend yourself against bullies. I will relay a personal experience via PM. As mentioned previously, whatever solution you pick, she needs to be on board with the decision. She needs to be a part of the decision process. Conflict resolution is very important to a child's development. Just my opinion, but parents who insulate their child from conflict (or anything negative) are doing a disservice to their kids. They are not preparing them for the outside world. When they get on their own, how are they going to handle adversity? The world is not always a friendly place. Kids needs the skills to be able to properly deal with adversity. Use this opportunity as a teaching tool. Remember, your actions can and/or will translate into how she deals with adversity in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheRocks Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 As far as the school thing, good luck. I don't know that there's a good answer for that mess. I'd probably end up in jail. 614436[/snapback] unfortunately this would be me too. i would tell my sweet little angel to point out who the bully was and kick his/her ass myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Sorry to hear about the situation John. I've had to deal with that and, having a University School under my jurisdiction, I'm afraid to say its a pretty common situation. First and first I would deal with the school in writing. Send a letter to the principal after every meeting summarizing what was discussed and what you expect to happen. This puts them in a position where there is an ongoing record of the situation from your point of view. If the school fails to react call and write to the school board itself. Finally, if the matter is not resolved, pull your child from school and put her into a parochial or private school for at least a year. I ended up doing that with one of mine and it turned out a lot better to have the child in a Catholic school where I worried about academic stuff than a public school where the matter might or might not get resolved. Wasn't going to let me kid hang while the school figured out what it was going to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Sorry to hear about the situation John. I've had to deal with that and, having a University School under my jurisdiction, I'm afraid to say its a pretty common situation. First and first I would deal with the school in writing. Send a letter to the principal after every meeting summarizing what was discussed and what you expect to happen. This puts them in a position where there is an ongoing record of the situation from your point of view. If the school fails to react call and write to the school board itself. Finally, if the matter is not resolved, pull your child from school and put her into a parochial or private school for at least a year. I ended up doing that with one of mine and it turned out a lot better to have the child in a Catholic school where I worried about academic stuff than a public school where the matter might or might not get resolved. Wasn't going to let me kid hang while the school figured out what it was going to do. 614657[/snapback] Damn my thinking must be screwed if you and I are agreeing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Something I have learned from my brother's and friends' kids. Girls start establishing pecking order between 10-12 yrs. It is when they are intolerably awful to each other. Boys usually don't start until 12-14, when they are merciless to each other. The fact that they are starting to form pecking orders is natural, this will happen even if it is not physical, through teasing , names, etc. The bullying gravitates to the weak and it is a way of showing off to the group. For whatever reason, probably your daughter being new and an outsider, she doesn't have a social group yet and is seen as weak. If possible any tips you can give her to stand up for herself will make her appear less weak, and anything you can do to help her facilitate friendships might help. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Damn my thinking must be screwed if you and I are agreeing. 614661[/snapback] Keep following my posts, grasshopper and you will find salvation! Just think three years ago you would have invaded, spent 300 billion dollars, and left the situation worse than it was when it started. See what creative thinking can do to address a problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in San Diego Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Something I have learned from my brother's and friends' kids. Girls start establishing pecking order between 10-12 yrs. It is when they are intolerably awful to each other. Boys usually don't start until 12-14, when they are merciless to each other. The fact that they are starting to form pecking orders is natural, this will happen even if it is not physical, through teasing , names, etc. The bullying gravitates to the weak and it is a way of showing off to the group. For whatever reason, probably your daughter being new and an outsider, she doesn't have a social group yet and is seen as weak. If possible any tips you can give her to stand up for herself will make her appear less weak, and anything you can do to help her facilitate friendships might help. Good Luck. 614662[/snapback] The social group advice is very true. If your daughter has a good core group of friends that she can hang with, will help eliminate alot of bullying problems. Unfortunately, bullies are a part of school, even when our generation was in grade school bullies were there, it is a part of growing up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheRocks Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Keep following my posts, grasshopper and you will find salvation! Just think three years ago you would have invaded, spent 300 billion dollars, and left the situation worse than it was when it started. See what creative thinking can do to address a problem? 614670[/snapback] you are a funny man Tenny. by the way....i am heading to Mongolia at the end of the month....any suggestions for travel safety? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catholic Guilt Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 After reading over some of the responses in this thread, I have a few comments: 1) Going to the school board or Superintendent is a good idea. Keep working your way up the ladder until you get satisfaction and results. Lawyer up. You would be suprised what a $25 letter from a lawyer can accomplish. 2) Do not go to the local media. All this is going to do is make things worse for your daughter. The public embarassment that it would cause her would be too great. People who may have been sympathetic to her, may turn on her. Don't do it. 3) Do not go to the parents of the bully(s). This is a waste of time and will only make things worse for your daughter. The parents will tell the child and the child will become worse towards your daughter. 4) I like the mace idea. Also, try to teach her things that can give her more confidence. You said that she took karate. Good, but it sounds like she no longer has the confidence. Talk to her about karate. Have her tell you about things she learned in class. Have her show you things she learned in class. Ask her, "what would you do if a person attacked you like this..." Have her show you. This may trigger the confidence that she used to have while taking karate. As others mentioned, confidence is one of the best ways to defend yourself against bullies. I will relay a personal experience via PM. As mentioned previously, whatever solution you pick, she needs to be on board with the decision. She needs to be a part of the decision process. Conflict resolution is very important to a child's development. Just my opinion, but parents who insulate their child from conflict (or anything negative) are doing a disservice to their kids. They are not preparing them for the outside world. When they get on their own, how are they going to handle adversity? The world is not always a friendly place. Kids needs the skills to be able to properly deal with adversity. Use this opportunity as a teaching tool. Remember, your actions can and/or will translate into how she deals with adversity in the future. 614618[/snapback] Sorry KRC gotta disagree with you. School districts do not like negative media stories. I come from a family of teachers. You'd be surprised how quickly they jump when camera crews arrive on campus. His daughter might get some negative comments at school, but she also could get postive feedback and help she needs. Sad to say but these bully kids are getting ignored at home and act out to get attention. My family has seen it countless times with misbehaving kids. Call the parents in for a conference and they don't show. If they do show - they are on the defensive and if the child is black racism comes into question. I do like KRC's advice on handling adversity (the cornerstone of every Bills fan). Give her some time to handle the problem herself, but let her know you have her back. If things get out of control, step in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 4) I like the mace idea. Also, try to teach her things that can give her more confidence. You said that she took karate. Good, but it sounds like she no longer has the confidence. Talk to her about karate. Have her tell you about things she learned in class. Have her show you things she learned in class. Ask her, "what would you do if a person attacked you like this..." Have her show you. This may trigger the confidence that she used to have while taking karate. As others mentioned, confidence is one of the best ways to defend yourself against bullies. I will relay a personal experience via PM. 614618[/snapback] Just make sure the mace never is on her person when she's on school grounds. Probably doesn't need to be said, but that's a sure fire way to get your daughter kicked out of school. That means that she then probably can't have it on her person on the way to and from school when she may be the most vulnerable, unless there is somewhere off campus she can keep it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 This is what I would do... Go to the school, find this "gang" (I hate when kids try and act tough), and threaten them. Say if your daughter is touched, you will beat the ever living sh-- out of them. Of course, if you do that, make sure there are no witnesses. The other approach would be to threaten a lawsuit. There is nothing more a school district hates than bad publicity/losing money. Good luck. Keep us updated. 614579[/snapback] Ed... (shakes ed) Get this girl into some self defense classes. You have to teach her to stand up for herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRC Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Sorry KRC gotta disagree with you. School districts do not like negative media stories. I come from a family of teachers. You'd be surprised how quickly they jump when camera crews arrive on campus. His daughter might get some negative comments at school, but she also could get postive feedback and help she needs. 614713[/snapback] I am not looking at things from the school district POV. I am looking at it from the student perspective. I do not see a lot of positives coming from her fellow students if she went to the media. I see more negative reactions. I see the bullying increasing against his daughter. It may not be the physical type, but there is no question in my mind that the teasing will increase as a result of going to the media. Also, it will make it more difficult for her to be accepted by other students. Unless there is school personnel following her from the time she leaves her house until the time she goes back into her house, kids will find a way of getting to her to make her life hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IowaBill Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 I hope this is a joke... 614614[/snapback] Everything Ed posts is a joke, intentional or otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Fong Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 One of the things I really regret doing was letting my wife pull my daughter out of Karate.....her confidence was always high when she was doing that and she didn't appear to have these problems.....and her instructor is great. She got pulled because her grades were starting to dip. 614432[/snapback] Don't send her back to karate class. Find a Jiu Jitsu studio near you. They'll teach her how to fight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Sorry KRC gotta disagree with you. School districts do not like negative media stories. I come from a family of teachers. You'd be surprised how quickly they jump when camera crews arrive on campus. His daughter might get some negative comments at school, but she also could get postive feedback and help she needs. Sad to say but these bully kids are getting ignored at home and act out to get attention. My family has seen it countless times with misbehaving kids. Call the parents in for a conference and they don't show. If they do show - they are on the defensive and if the child is black racism comes into question. I do like KRC's advice on handling adversity (the cornerstone of every Bills fan). Give her some time to handle the problem herself, but let her know you have her back. If things get out of control, step in. 614713[/snapback] I don't know if you have seen news around here. But it seems the more school violence stories they are doing on Buffalo city schools, the more violence the cameras are catching on TV. Now what badass wouldn't like a little more street cred by being on the 6 o'clock news? The media can deal with global problems, but I think there is little likelihood that they can deal with an individual problem unless there is a huge pattern. BTW, don't you come from a family of Coaches that happen to teach? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IBTG81 Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Everything Ed posts is a joke, intentional or otherwise. 614729[/snapback] Yawn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 you are a funny man Tenny. by the way....i am heading to Mongolia at the end of the month....any suggestions for travel safety? 614708[/snapback] My familiarity is with eastern europe in Ukraine and Belarus, but there are a few things that would be good pretty much anywhere. Try and use the little bit of Russian you might have with customs, as it goes a long way. The customs people can make your life EXTRAORDINARILY miserable. Ease ven Ist ye...is Russian for excuse me, and to get attention. Of course Da is yes and Nyet is no. Do not wear a university shirt or us flag on your shirt or hat. Most people actually like Americans in my experience, but they expect us to be a little pushy. Best to act the opposite of their expectations. I go out of my way to praise whatever they have and point out things that I admire. Look at the state department warnings. In Ukraine the ATM's were not bad although you had to be very careful to chose bank atms and watch for fraud. I had Ukrainian hosts and friends and developed a group of American expatriate friends who tended to steer me right. Mongolia sounds like an interesting place. Make sure you get out and meet the people. Many of my best experiences were in the homes of Ukrainian friends, and they showed me a lot of the country that most never see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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