Mile High Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I heard he once swam the English Channel in 2 hours flat, with both arms tied behind his back. True story. You guys heard anything about him lately? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernMan Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I heard he once swam the English Channel in 2 hours flat, with both arms tied behind his back. True story. You guys heard anything about him lately? 492059[/snapback]  How about the time he won the Tour de France blindfolded, riding a unicycle with no seat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokinandjokin Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I heard that in a game back in 2005, he had already amassed 58 hits on the game's first 7 plays. Â This of course made him the career leader in hits, as this is the first time the stat has ever been calculated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I heard he once swam the English Channel in 2 hours flat, with both arms tied behind his back. True story. You guys heard anything about him lately? 492059[/snapback]  I heard one time that he died on Friday, but by the following Sunday had risen from the dead to record two assists, 65 "hits", and a tongue bath from Joe Theisman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boomerjamhead Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I heard he once swam the English Channel in 2 hours flat, with both arms tied behind his back. True story. You guys heard anything about him lately? 492059[/snapback]  Yeah, he simply walked across. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thailog80 Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 He's the first guy to run a three minute mile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramius Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 while he was on the PUP list, i read that brewski found a cure for cancer, and is putting his entire salary for the season to manufacturing it, before distributing it free of charge... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thailog80 Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Tedy Bruschi has made piece between the Isrealis and the Arabs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Fischer Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I heard that he missed the first SEVEN games of the season and then, gasp, returned to make two tackles. Â Nah, that could NEVER have happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMadCap Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I heard that he actually healed a blind man on the way home from the game last night. No lie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drnykterstein Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Broosky made it so my poor old dad could afford to buy christmas gifts for his children this year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Did Tedy play last night? Â Gee, I don't recall his name ever being mentioned during the game. Â I thought that he was in Iraq being greeted as a liberator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Tomcat Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I heard Teddy was greater the Picard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly the Dog Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 He's the stepson of God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drnykterstein Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 He's the second coming of Attila the Hun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokinandjokin Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 The hole in his heart was not surgically repaired. It was filled with man-love from Mike Patrick, Paul Maguire, and Joe Theismann. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopsGuy Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Did you know Tedy Bruschi is the godfather of my son? Â Well, anyway.. he shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' Bruschi pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calamari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!" Â ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Â Did I ever tell you about the time Tedy Bruschi showed up at my daughter's wedding? Â Well, he's standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He's got no right to be there, but he's drunk and he's Bruschi! Well, long story short: the priest accidentally marries Bruschi and me! We spend the weekend in the Pocono's - he loves me like I've never been loved before! Â ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Â Bruschi went public with his own buttocks and made 7 million. Â ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Â He orchestrated the merger between UNICEF and Smith and Wesson. Â ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Â We once had a bachelor party for tedy Bruschi. He ate the entire cake, before we could tell him there was a stripper in it. Â ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Â He has a toenail on the end of his penis. Â ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Â Bruschi is ranked 8th in the AP College Football poll. Â Â To Tedy Bruschi! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
udonkey Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 that Tedy Bruschi is a son of a B word Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drnykterstein Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Bruschi is ranked 8th in the AP College Football poll. Â That is really funny. Where is he ranked on Nascar circuit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 that Tedy Bruschi is a son of a B word 492287[/snapback] What did you call me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Coli Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Did you know Tedy Bruschi is the godfather of my son?  Well, anyway.. he shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' Bruschi pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calamari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!"  ------------------------------------------------------------------------  Did I ever tell you about the time Tedy Bruschi showed up at my daughter's wedding?  Well, he's standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He's got no right to be there, but he's drunk and he's Bruschi! Well, long story short: the priest accidentally marries Bruschi and me! We spend the weekend in the Pocono's - he loves me like I've never been loved before!  ------------------------------------------------------------------------  Bruschi went public with his own buttocks and made 7 million.  ------------------------------------------------------------------------  He orchestrated the merger between UNICEF and Smith and Wesson.  ------------------------------------------------------------------------  We once had a bachelor party for tedy Bruschi. He ate the entire cake, before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.  -----------------------------------------------------------------------  He has a toenail on the end of his penis.  -----------------------------------------------------------------------  Bruschi is ranked 8th in the AP College Football poll. To Tedy Bruschi! 492283[/snapback] That's good stuff, man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clockwork Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Did you know Tedy Bruschi is the godfather of my son?  Well, anyway.. he shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' Bruschi pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calamari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!"  ------------------------------------------------------------------------  Did I ever tell you about the time Tedy Bruschi showed up at my daughter's wedding?  Well, he's standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He's got no right to be there, but he's drunk and he's Bruschi! Well, long story short: the priest accidentally marries Bruschi and me! We spend the weekend in the Pocono's - he loves me like I've never been loved before!  ------------------------------------------------------------------------  Bruschi went public with his own buttocks and made 7 million.  ------------------------------------------------------------------------  He orchestrated the merger between UNICEF and Smith and Wesson.  ------------------------------------------------------------------------  We once had a bachelor party for tedy Bruschi. He ate the entire cake, before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.  -----------------------------------------------------------------------  He has a toenail on the end of his penis.  -----------------------------------------------------------------------  Bruschi is ranked 8th in the AP College Football poll. To Tedy Bruschi! 492283[/snapback] I just laughed so hard, I had to wipe my projectile laughter tears off my monitor.  That being said, I heard that Tedy was actually the one responsable for the CIA leak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drnykterstein Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I just laughed so hard, I had to wipe my projectile laughter tears off my monitor. That being said, I heard that Tedy was actually the one responsable for the CIA leak. 492295[/snapback] No that was TD not Tedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clockwork Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Tedy was the one responsable for the Pink Floyd reunion at Live 8. I heard that he actually was going to conjur up Lennon and Harrison and re-create The Beatles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokinandjokin Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 All of the new designs for the Peace Bridge include Tedy Bruschi laying across the Niagara River, single handedly providing international travel and commerce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopsGuy Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 That's good stuff, man. 492292[/snapback]  It's all cut & paste from a Bill Brasky site:  -----------------------------------------------------  You know he jumped off the Empire State Building this one time and he only sprained his ankle.  -----------------------------------------------------  Like an alligator he can fully digest a turtle shell.  -----------------------------------------------------  I once saw him scissor kick Angela Lansbury.  -----------------------------------------------------  So anyway, Bruschi would put on a white tie and tails and would walk his cobra through the park on a leash. He named the cobra Beverly, and he taught it how to fetch and dial a phone. But then one day it bit the maid. So with tears in his eyes Bruschi had to shoot the maid.  -----------------------------------------------------  Bruschi would use his own thigh as an anvil.  -----------------------------------------------------   You know it was the sight of Bruschi's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane.   -----------------------------------------------------  He showers in grain alcohol.  -----------------------------------------------------  He uses a shroud of tourine as a golf towel.  -----------------------------------------------------  He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident.  -----------------------------------------------------  He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.  -----------------------------------------------------  He makes every woman that sleeps with him refer to him as Bear Bryant.  -----------------------------------------------------  He once ate the bible while water skiing.  -----------------------------------------------------  Did I ever tell you he once had sex with a cigarette machine?!    To Tedy Bruschi!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CentralVaBills Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I heard Tedy Bruschi made over 25 million dollars from placing tiny classified ads in the newspaper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drnykterstein Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Bruschi > Brasky  ... but there is an eerie similarity in their names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boomerjamhead Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 That is really funny.Where is he ranked on Nascar circuit? 492289[/snapback] Â The same place that all the guys who lead every single lap and win every single race are ranked. The fans can't get enough... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnk Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I was in pouring rain last night on my way home from watching the game. I got a flat tire and didn't have a spare tire. Â Teddy Bruschi came "out of nowhere" and fiixed the flat without a jack, and tuned up my ford ranger for me. Â I am getting 45 MPG now..... Â I don't know how to thank him..... he just vanished.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramius Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Tedy turned down the papacy just so He could play football for the patriots again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernMan Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Tedy Bruschi picked his nose once, and out came a leprechaun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJ Bills backer Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Tedy Bruschi picked his nose once, and out came a leprechaun. 492424[/snapback] Â so THAT'S where Notre Dame got their mascot! Thanks nothing to sneeze at! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Tedy Bruschi wouldn't let Karen Carpenter eat. Â He also stole Hunter Thompson's stash. Â He gave Kurt Cobain a box of birdshot. Â He whispered messages to Berkowitz's neighbor's dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoachChuckDickerson Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Tedy Bruschi picked his nose once, and out came a leprechaun. 492424[/snapback] Â Doug Flutie lives in Bruschi's nose? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clockwork Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I head that Tedy pooped out a low-carb pizza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drnykterstein Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 He helped us win the Revolutionary War. Thats why he's the best Tedy of all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kasper13 Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Teddy had two strokes, a heat attack and the runs during last night's game and still played almost the whole game AND had 347 hits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 teddy is under the table doing brady and that is why brady has a smile on his face . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwight Drane Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 I heard he's buying a house in Lockport. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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