How Do All of Us Get Inner City Dads Involved?

[Irv]

Any ideas?  I lived in the inner city in Rochester between my 20's and 30's.  There were no Dad's ANYWHERE.  I'm white, a man and the boys died for my attention.  I did everything I could to fix their bikes, help them out.  Just listen.  How can white, Black, Hispanic, anybody help fix this problem?  The kids need Dad's.  Moms can't do everything.  This is the core of black-on-black violence.  Hand-outs don't work.  How does it end?  

Edited August 31, 2023 by Irv

[Tiberius]

10 hours ago, Irv said:

Any ideas?  I lived in the inner city in Rochester between my 20's and 30's.  There were no Dad's ANYWHERE.  I'm white, a man and the boys died for my attention.  I did everything I could to fix their bikes, help them out.  Just listen.  How can white, Black, Hispanic, anybody help fix this problem?  The kids need Dad's.  Moms can't do everything.  This is the core of black-on-black violence.  Hand-outs don't work.  How does it end?  

I was in court lately for a property issue but got to watch other people go before the judge. This was a very rural court and the cases I saw were all women trying to get some scum bag dude to just leave them alone. They all had kids together. This one women didn't want to even stand near this guy. All the guys said they "getting their lives back together," just got a job, yada yada. They were white. Rural America has a serious male problem. 

 

Toxic masculinity is a real problem in a world where work is less and less about having a strong back and more about having an open mind and thinking outside the box 

[Westside]

3 hours ago, Tiberius said:

I was in court lately for a property issue but got to watch other people go before the judge. This was a very rural court and the cases I saw were all women trying to get some scum bag dude to just leave them alone. They all had kids together. This one women didn't want to even stand near this guy. All the guys said they "getting their lives back together," just got a job, yada yada. They were white. Rural America has a serious male problem. 

 

Toxic masculinity is a real problem in a world where work is less and less about having a strong back and more about having an open mind and thinking outside the box 

Why are you so threatened when lack of a father in the black community is brought up? You just have to bring up some example, weather real or imagined to show there are white dads who suck as well. 
You just can’t help yourself can you? Lol

 

[Tiberius]

7 minutes ago, Westside said:

Why are you so threatened when lack of a father in the black community is brought up? You just have to bring up some example, weather real or imagined to show there are white dads who suck as well. 
You just can’t help yourself can you? Lol

 

Because, rural America has the same issues as the inner city. 

[AlBUNDY4TDS]

3 hours ago, Tiberius said:

I was in court lately for a property issue but got to watch other people go before the judge. This was a very rural court and the cases I saw were all women trying to get some scum bag dude to just leave them alone. They all had kids together. This one women didn't want to even stand near this guy. All the guys said they "getting their lives back together," just got a job, yada yada. They were white. Rural America has a serious male problem. 

 

Toxic masculinity is a real problem in a world where work is less and less about having a strong back and more about having an open mind and thinking outside the box 

As someone who grew up without a father, and had to cobble together different aspects of being a man from complete strangers. Toxic masculinity is the least of our problems. The lack of fathers is a real problem. I just happen to be the few that made it. I'm not where I want to be but I have a college degree and I believe I'm on the right track.

[Doc]

14 hours ago, Irv said:

Any ideas?  I lived in the inner city in Rochester between my 20's and 30's.  There were no Dad's ANYWHERE.  I'm white, a man and the boys died for my attention.  I did everything I could to fix their bikes, help them out.  Just listen.  How can white, Black, Hispanic, anybody help fix this problem?  The kids need Dad's.  Moms can't do everything.  This is the core of black-on-black violence.  Hand-outs don't work.  How does it end?  

 

I don't think there is a solution.  And after several generations, it's become their norm/what they know.  

[AlBUNDY4TDS]

1 minute ago, Doc said:

 

I don't think there is a solution.  And after several generations, it's become their norm/what they know.  

The government wants and encourages single family homes.........

3 hours ago, Tiberius said:

I was in court lately for a property issue but got to watch other people go before the judge. This was a very rural court and the cases I saw were all women trying to get some scum bag dude to just leave them alone. They all had kids together. This one women didn't want to even stand near this guy. All the guys said they "getting their lives back together," just got a job, yada yada. They were white. Rural America has a serious male problem. 

 

Toxic masculinity is a real problem in a world where work is less and less about having a strong back and more about having an open mind and thinking outside the box 

Maybe women should make better choices on who they let impregnate them?????

[Tiberius]

18 minutes ago, AlBUNDY4TDS said:

The government wants and encourages single family homes.........

Maybe women should make better choices on who they let impregnate them?????

A lot of them are pressured into sex. Or are just young and dumb and targeted by an older male 

[AlBUNDY4TDS]

27 minutes ago, Tiberius said:

A lot of them are pressured into sex. Or are just young and dumb and targeted by an older male 

So no accountability for women? Got it.......tell ya what my mom should've picked better.

[Tiberius]

12 minutes ago, AlBUNDY4TDS said:

So no accountability for women? Got it.......tell ya what my mom should've picked better.

Is there accountability for men? 

[AlBUNDY4TDS]

6 minutes ago, Tiberius said:

Is there accountability for men? 

They were in court right? Smells like accountability to me.

[Tiberius]

2 minutes ago, AlBUNDY4TDS said:

They were in court right? Smells like accountability to me.

Women end up in court, too 

[All_Pro_Bills]

Men and women are both capable of making good and bad choices and unfortunately when they make bad choices its usually the children that suffer the most. 

 

And this toxic masculinity fantasy is dreamed up by feminists fighting "the patriarchy" portraying men as irredeemable and immoral hapless idiots, dependent on "strong" empowered women for guidance on proper conduct.  

Edited August 31, 2023 by All_Pro_Bills

[AlBUNDY4TDS]

33 minutes ago, Tiberius said:

Women end up in court, too 

Apparently not at the court you were at......do better.

[Over 29 years of fanhood]

16 hours ago, Irv said:

Any ideas?  I lived in the inner city in Rochester between my 20's and 30's.  There were no Dad's ANYWHERE.  I'm white, a man and the boys died for my attention.  I did everything I could to fix their bikes, help them out.  Just listen.  How can white, Black, Hispanic, anybody help fix this problem?  The kids need Dad's.  Moms can't do everything.  This is the core of black-on-black violence.  Hand-outs don't work.  How does it end?  

fixing fatherless kids’ bikes and giving them attention = toxic masculinity 😂 

[sherpa]

I think it is a cultural thing.

For bona fides, I did two years in a big brother program in Raleigh, NC. The kid I was pared with was an inner city kid and there was palpable hostility from the local men when they observed me pick the kid up.

They were far more concerned, and spent far more time, hanging out with each other in athletic clothes that were were fare more expensive than what this 13 year old was provided.

There was no sense of community regarding kids. 

I also did a couple years where I live now serving as a personal finance/budget instructor for a Christian group that serves the local inner city community and has been quite successful.

I have never had a male attend. It would always be a number of inner city single mothers.

Great group, but they were always without male support.

 

My daughter in law is a fourth grade teacher who did two years in an inner city school before getting out into the county.

Very bad view of inner city dads.

Draw your onw conclusions, but mine is that they simply don't care, and are more interested in hanging out with their buds than in being male role models for their kids. 

[Doc]

2 hours ago, All_Pro_Bills said:

Men and women are both capable of making good and bad choices and unfortunately when they make bad choices its usually the children that suffer the most. 

 

And this toxic masculinity fantasy is dreamed up by feminists fighting "the patriarchy" portraying men as irredeemable and immoral hapless idiots, dependent on "strong" empowered women for guidance on proper conduct.  

 

And here I thought it was ugly chicks who couldn't get a man.  Or lesbians.

 

25 minutes ago, sherpa said:

I think it is a cultural thing.

For bona fides, I did two years in a big brother program in Raleigh, NC. The kid I was pared with was an inner city kid and there was palpable hostility from the local men when they observed me pick the kid up.

They were far more concerned, and spent far more time, hanging out with each other in athletic clothes that were were fare more expensive than what this 13 year old was provided.

There was no sense of community regarding kids. 

I also did a couple years where I live now serving as a personal finance/budget instructor for a Christian group that serves the local inner city community and has been quite successful.

I have never had a male attend. It would always be a number of inner city single mothers.

Great group, but they were always without male support.

 

My daughter in law is a fourth grade teacher who did two years in an inner city school before getting out into the county.

Very bad view of inner city dads.

Draw your onw conclusions, but mine is that they simply don't care, and are more interested in hanging out with their buds than in being male role models for their kids. 

 

"See more of your friends than you do of your kids."

[Tommy Callahan]

Dad's, or "mamas man" show up after 5.  Don't use the house for tax and monetary reasons.  

 

If married and considered a couple they would pay more taxes and wouldn't get the services that put the roof over the kids heads, food in the bellies. 

 

Problem is, that's what the kids see and live so it goes from generation to generation 

 

It's called "surviving", "hustling".  

[cle23]

8 hours ago, Tiberius said:

A lot of them are pressured into sex. Or are just young and dumb and targeted by an older male 

 

Yeah, this happens, but it's not the majority of cases at all. Most are impregnated by similar aged men. 

 

Fatherless children is a 2 way street.  Worthless men and clueless women.  Or women who WANT to live on assistance. 

[Buffarukus]

7 hours ago, Tiberius said:

Is there accountability for men? 

 

Its called child support. I dont know any women who had to pick up a second job and live in their car just to pay after a nasty divorce but know alot of men who basically have to start over from scratch simply because a marriage didnt pan out. Do you?

 

Maybe instead of incentivising women to have children out of wedlock or winfalls from divorce we incentive men to stay in the home and spend time with their children. Why does a woman need child support if the father is willing to take them 50%? Why do judges give women huge settlements and force a man to continue decades after divorce even if she is engaging in new relationships or working full time. 

 

Obv this is case by case as women are the ones who give up occupations for family but to suggest men have no accountability? The ones who dont are because women dont hold them to it and let them skate. Otherwise its HIGHLY slanted against men.

 

 

[Wacka]

All starts with LBJ's "Great Society"

[Tommy Callahan]

24 minutes ago, Buffarukus said:

 

Its called child support. I dont know any women who had to pick up a second job and live in their car just to pay after a nasty divorce but know alot of men who basically have to start over from scratch simply because a marriage didnt pan out. Do you?

 

Maybe instead of incentivising women to have children out of wedlock or winfalls from divorce we incentive men to stay in the home and spend time with their children. Why does a woman need child support if the father is willing to take them 50%? Why do judges give women huge settlements and force a man to continue decades after divorce even if she is engaging in new relationships or working full time. 

 

Obv this is case by case as women are the ones who give up occupations for family but to suggest men have no accountability? The ones who dont are because women dont hold them to it and let them skate. Otherwise its HIGHLY slanted against men.

 

 

Many get billed for the delivery and pre delivery appointments.  Like they are paying since conception.  

[AlBUNDY4TDS]

34 minutes ago, Buffarukus said:

 

Its called child support. I dont know any women who had to pick up a second job and live in their car just to pay after a nasty divorce but know alot of men who basically have to start over from scratch simply because a marriage didnt pan out. Do you?

 

Maybe instead of incentivising women to have children out of wedlock or winfalls from divorce we incentive men to stay in the home and spend time with their children. Why does a woman need child support if the father is willing to take them 50%? Why do judges give women huge settlements and force a man to continue decades after divorce even if she is engaging in new relationships or working full time. 

 

Obv this is case by case as women are the ones who give up occupations for family but to suggest men have no accountability? The ones who dont are because women dont hold them to it and let them skate. Otherwise its HIGHLY slanted against men.

 

 

Someone gets it! Great post.