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moa. Generally, moas are easy-going and mellow, but this one was pissed off (though more accurately, as an easy-going and mellow creature, it can be described as "mildly put-out") to find that it did not, in fact, exist, having gone extinct some 550 years ago. In addition to being mildly put-out, if the moa were capable of higher thought, the moa would have been very confused, for not only did it not exist, but with a lifespan of only about 20 years, the moa had either been alive more than 550 years, or was spawned by other moas that likewise had gone extinct and did not exist. There is, of course, a third possibility - a platinum-blonde woman jumped into a fire holding a petrified moa egg, and the following morning both moa and platinum-blonde woman emerged from the fire unscathed. While this is considered an unlikely event, there is rumored to exist evidence for this very happening, This rumored evidence is said to only be available in the planned George R. R. Martin novel "A Matter for Moas," which he has only just started outlining, but plans to write very quickly, so it should hit bookshelves sometime around 2060. Sadly, this does our poor, confused, non-existent door-pounding moa little good, as 1) it is not, currently, 2060, and 2) it does not explain why the moa is pounding on a door in Hoboken, New Jersey. For indeed, the moa is pounding on a door in Hoboken, New Jersey, which should be of much greater concern to the poor confused moa, as behind that door is...

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JR in Pittsburgh having a hallucination about a moa because he smoked a joint laced with...

Gugny's back hair, parenthetically speaking, Gugny back hair has been known to make a moa take flight, and they always flew to Hoboken because they flew standby on

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A magic carpet that just jack got at a garage sale next to hammers house. He did not know it could fly until jboyst gave him a quart of his best moonshine that

had hints of lavender, old spice and

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