Chef Jim Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Did they call you regarding your reference? And you said it was a personal one correct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 haven't seen the other comments yet, but as a professional reference is he/she eligible for re-hire.... If she's using you as a personal reference then you have options in what you can say, that's up to you. If you are a professional reference (previous employer) all you should provide is when she started working at the University and when she left. Since the University already knows this info they shouldn't come to you at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoSaint Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I am not close to the decision maker in this instance. And, being as tight on policies and procedures as a University can be, "sidebar conversations" are strictly prohibited. God, I hate this day! well, i know they would be "against the rules" but i would also be suprised if it didnt actually happen. You know, like im sure we talked to some agents about upcoming free agents from other teams at the combine. just my 2 cents, and you know the workplace you are in better than i do though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I think I would have a conversation with the applicant and be open with her about the plusses and minuses of the job and advise her that you would be uncomfortable recommending her for this particular position. You gave a reference for another job where you felt she was qualified, and this is one where you have reservations. That gives her a chance to 1) convince you that she is qualified or 2.) recognize she has to change and take action. If you go and tell the boss your opinion without advising her she will find out and you'll be seen as a guy who gives a good written recommendation then screws the applicant behind her back. You don't want to be doing that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoSaint Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I think I would have a conversation with the applicant and be open with her about the plusses and minuses of the job and advise her that you would be uncomfortable recommending her for this particular position. You gave a reference for another job where you felt she was qualified, and this is one where you have reservations. That gives her a chance to 1) convince you that she is qualified or 2.) recognize she has to change and take action. If you go and tell the boss your opinion without advising her she will find out and you'll be seen as a guy who gives a good written recommendation then screws the applicant behind her back. You don't want to be doing that! ideally, the decision maker wouldnt blab about the conversation as it would be against the rules for him to have it as well. also, ideally, you arent bashing her here based on what we know, as much as giving a more thorough bit of feedback - some good, some concerns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PromoTheRobot Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Postpone, evade and lie. PTR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buftex Posted February 28, 2013 Author Share Posted February 28, 2013 (edited) Did they call you regarding your reference? And you said it was a personal one correct. Yes, personal reference....just got t work, no word yet...but her interview isn't until 2pm (another hour)...not sure if she is getttnig an interview because she used me as a reference, or if that is incidental...I am not privy, in my current position to that kind of info...as far as the higher-ups know, I don't even know she applied, unless she told me...and she didn't do that. I suspect they will call me late today, or tomorrow. I just got to work about an hour ago...nothing changed. Thanks all for your advice....sometimes just helps to get it all out on "paper" and here what common sense has to say. It seems like I never get too old to avoid uncomfortable situations like this! It has been a while since I had a panic attack! Edited February 28, 2013 by Buftex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I am really conflicted, because while I want to help her get a job, I really don't want to work with her at my job again. Does this make me a ****ty person? No it doesn't and I think you already know that the bold part is way more important than the 'I want to be a good guy' part. Working with someone you don't want to work with sucks every single day. Not helping someone out sucks for maybe two days. You should be frank enough to let the hiring manager know that you don't recommend him hiring her. You don't need to tell her that of course and there's no reason you should. Let her think you tried your best to help her. That's one of those 'little white lies' in life that don't harm anyone and gets you out of the sticky situation without creating any hassles. I am not close to the decision maker in this instance. And, being as tight on policies and procedures as a University can be, "sidebar conversations" are strictly prohibited. God, I hate this day! WHAT?!? How does anything get done without sidebar conversations?!? I'd be a bum living in the gutter if it wasn't for sidebar conversations!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrags Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 (edited) If you have doubts about her not only as a person, but also as a co-worker and how she would handle the job, then I wouldn't put in a good word or give your blessing of employment. It sounds like a bad mix waiting to happen, not only for you and your company but for her as well since you said you don't think she would handle the workload well. Jmo. Edited February 28, 2013 by mrags Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 No it doesn't and I think you already know that the bold part is way more important than the 'I want to be a good guy' part. Working with someone you don't want to work with sucks every single day. Not helping someone out sucks for maybe two days. This. People grow and change (I'm not the employee I was even two years ago), but if you have reservations that strong about working with her again, the answer to your question should be obvious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chilly Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 This. People grow and change (I'm not the employee I was even two years ago), but if you have reservations that strong about working with her again, the answer to your question should be obvious. That doesn't apply to posting skills, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buftex Posted March 1, 2013 Author Share Posted March 1, 2013 (edited) All that fretting for nothing! My "friend" got another job....she didn't even show up for her interview, or let them know ahead of time. So relieved....thanks for all your input gents! This really gave me a reason to pause, and think a bit more, the next time somebody asks me if I they can use me as a reference. I will think more about the "worst case scenario" before so readily saying "yes". That old country song, "She's someone else's problem..." keeps running through my head.... This. People grow and change (I'm not the employee I was even two years ago), but if you have reservations that strong about working with her again, the answer to your question should be obvious. DC that is a good point. I worked with this girl 3 years ago..shw is about 37 or so....not sure how much people change at the core, at that point...but their attitude toward work, and how much they value having a job can change. Your point is well taken... I have heard you are nowhere near the idiot you used top be! Edited March 1, 2013 by Buftex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve O Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I think she would be a really bad match. This job relies heavily on working with others, and people aren't always super courteous, so you have to have a thick skin...not sure if she fills that part of it. Yes you are (she doesn't) Sorry for the long post...brevity is never my strength... fortunately it is one of mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in San Diego Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I know some of you who puruse this board are managers, or have been managers. I am in a little bit of a 'sticky wickett'...in a previous life, I was an office manager in an insurance office at a universlty. I left that job to take a job out in the "real world" for about a year and a half...that company folded, so I ended up back at the university, in a completely different, non-management job. This past December, a girl who used to work for me asked if she could use me for a job reference. I had always considered her a friend, and had no reservations giving her my blessing. She was trying to get a job back at the university. Fast forward three months, and I have come to find out that the girl has applied for a job in the very same area that I work now. She didn't tell me this, I just saw her name on a list of three folks being interviewed for an opening we have. My dilema: this girl is really smart, and can be great to work with..but I have also seen a much darker side to her, and the way she works with others. She is definitely somebody who works better on her own...she had frequent conflicts with co-workers in our past job (not always her fault, granted, but she also knows how to "push buttons")....I am really conflicted, because while I want to help her get a job, I really don't want to work with her at my job again. Does this make me a ****ty person? I am mindful too, if I give her a good reference, she gets hired, and has the same issues again, it makes me look bad. I have given out plenty of references over the years, without hesitation...but I have my reservations about this one. I have no doubt that she could handle the work part of the job she is applying for, but knowing how my current place works, I think she would be a really bad match. This job relies heavily on working with others, and people aren't always super courteous, so you have to have a thick skin...not sure if she fills that part of it. I have a feeling they will be asking me for a reference in the next day or two...what would you do? How frank would you be? The university trains their managers well, in getting negative info, if it exists, without crossing any lines. Sorry for the long post...brevity is never my strength... Share that with the decision makers. Its the only way to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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