Tipster19 Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 My predraft portfolio reads like this. 5'10.", 183 lbs, and runs probably a 5.8 40. Alledged past pot using but never proven. High school drop out who's wonderlic score I'm sure sucks, if I had to guess it's probably around a 3 or 4. Don't put me in the secondary because I couldn't cover a saucepot but I'd probably make a good STer if they would just run on my side of the field and somehow get in arm's length because I'd be more than willing to stick them in the chest if I could. I could also possibly run a Wildcat package but don't expect me to throw the ball because I have an arm like a noodle and I'm too short to see over them massive bastards up on the OL. I just recently quit smoking so I should be able to snap off a 30 yder without taking a break as long as nobody touches me. The good news is that I'm salary cap friendly because as of now I work for peanuts and anything would be a pay hike so there would be no contract hold out. I'll go to all practices and would even be willing to be a tackling dummy. This is something that I know that I'd excel at. Oh, btw, if anyone thinks that this might be predraft rumors just to devalue me it's not. This is all true **** and I'm looking to hopefully go in the very late rds (6th or 7th??). I'm having a draft party on Saturday, anticipating a phone call from some stupid ass team (Miami?) to take a shot on me, thinking that they can "turn me around". Everyone is welcomed to join me for this big event and the first beerball is on me. I have everyone has a good time and I'll see yas at the draft! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 [This is an automated response] This subject matter is being currently being discussed or has already been discussed in a previous thread. Please consider using the "search" function before starting new topics. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 I would have to pass. Your 40 time is impressive but we already have a full waterboy staff and I'd hate to have to cut the little guy. He works so hard at his craft Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JinWPB Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 Well aren't we the spunky one......good to see! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bangarang Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 How long are your arms? That's important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b-unit Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 Can you set up a pro day at the local park i would attend. and laugh my a$$ off for someone doing a proday at a park Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1B4IDie Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 Can you set up a pro day at the local park i would attend. and laugh my a$$ off for someone doing a proday at a park CHarity "Pro Day" ! Genius idea! Have fans go to the practice field house and run the combine drills. You can have Andre Reed sell his hot sauce there and find Jeff Wright, Mark Pike and Kenny Davis sign autographs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San Jose Bills Fan Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 Measurables: 5'9, 155 lbs. 51 years old, but recently kicked his 6' 3", 28-year old nephew's ass in one-on-one hoops. Scouting Report: Never played organized football but has won 2 fantasy football leagues a total of 5 times and was a standout scholastic electric football player (Coleco and Tudor). More quick than fast, plays with good leverage, long arms, good anticipation but can be overaggressive biting on play fakes and misdirection. Good ball athlete with sure hands, plucks the ball but shows soft hands on hard throws. Plays with good pad level and natural hip sinker but lacks elite speed and will bite on pump fakes. Eager run defender but lacks pop at point of attack, hustle player but smoking habit has limited 4 quarter endurance in the past. Has recently quit smoking. Projection: Priority free agent. Good training camp body and with competitiveness and attitude, could find a spot as a developmental practice squadder but more likely would make an outstanding ball boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooderson Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 Measures: 6'1" 250 lbs. 24 years old, but a history of torn hamstrings. Scouting Report: Solid, thick projected LB in a base set. Played three years of high school football. Football savvy with great instincts and a nose for the ball. Low-end speed with slight quickness, but does well moving from sideline to sideline. Good in run support but a hazard in man coverage. Plays low and hits hard, but beyond plugging up the middle, he's basically useless. Projects as a scout team MLB, could make practice squad as long as it doesn't interfere with slow-pitch softball leagues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipster19 Posted April 25, 2012 Author Share Posted April 25, 2012 Touché guys, you both nailed it on what I was hopefully trying to project. This was EXACTLY the spirit I was looking for! Great job guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaattMaann Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 favorite draft thread BY FAR, kudos to you all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 5'10'' 165 40 time couldn't be calculated because sonic boom was heard and stop watches exploded Minor injury history, mostly to other players. Hard Hitting safety that is often seen as a blur on the field. Had 16 interceptions in one game, in which only played the first quarter. Excellent in coverage and run support. Projection: Pure Awesome Now back to reality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddog69 Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 Let's be honest here. Your measurables are a joke. You lack any skill whatsoever and your 'red flags' are a major concern. Most teams will eliminate you from their draft boards right away. But I like you attitude. If I win the lottery (multiple times) and purchase of professional sports team, I will sign you. Not as a player, but as a human tackling dummy. It would be worth the money to watch you running for your life out there, screaming like a little girl and then ending up curled up like an armadillo. BTW - Thanks for the thread. It is a nice distraction from the rest of the regurgitated draft talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loserlovers Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 if you change the 40 time isnt this really Mckelvins Bio? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) 6'4", 280. 40 years old. 40-time: don't know, but did the Kessel run in twelve parsecs. Scouting report: white guy with a high motor. Still probably a better prospect than Maybin. Edited April 25, 2012 by DC Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 If only when I worked out just 3 yrs ago when I was just turning 28 6' 2 1/2" 243 lbs. 4.7 40. Benched 215 23 times. Squat had like 575 or more. Plus I never lost my ability to long snap; I was very good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewEra Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 6'2 220 37 years old 4 year high school letterman. Has a history of alcohol problems stemming from the Buffalo Bills 4 consecutive super bowl losses. Hasn't played a down of football in 20 years but has immense rage built up, also stemming from the buffalo bills, due to watching the Buffalo Bills games the last 12 years. This rage could be used as a kicker as he has learned to visualize Scott Norwoods face onto the ball. Big boom or bust pick, but could be the first kicker selected in the first round since Sebastian Janikowski. 4 SB losses + rage = 75 yard FGs on the reg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevewin Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 if they would just run on my side of the field and somehow get in arm's length because I'd be more than willing to stick them in the chest if I could We need more dudes willing to shiv a mofo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilsner Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 5'10 175 Played one year in HS and was an assistant coach later on for 2 seasons. Pros: High motor even tho I'm not white. Ready to be a fearless tackling dummy if called upon. Does not shy away from contact. Will wrap up and hold on for dear life. Decent hands. Will study playbook until my eyes bleed. Team first attitude. Quick reaction time (twitch skills) which helps swatting down balls. If contract is offered, willing to renegotiate my measley pay if it helps bring in a player we need. Cons: 40 time is 5.00+ Haven't played football in pads in 20 years. Right elbow still recovering from tennis injury so that's a red flag. Therefor not projected to be a QB. After giving as severe a hit as I can muster and wrapping up, will be dragged for a first down and more by most any NFL sized player. Not super fit atm so it would be a bonus to make it to half time. Most likely will need an oxygen machine at the half tho. Have already received one concussion. Might request in the contract that the Bills provide me a 12 pack of pilsner after every win. Perhaps after every loss too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b-unit Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 we have a bunch of franchise players here pilsner will be a safty, newera is our kicker, jboyst62 olb, dc tom dt, captain hindsight whatever position he wants because of his blazing speed ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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