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Favorite Quotes?


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My favorite:

I have some bizarre news. Starting at the beginning of 2011 on January 1, I will be embarking on a year-long journey, during which I will be eating nothing but plain medium green lentils. That's right...365 days of nothing but lentils. No recipes, no seasonings, nothing but plain prepared lentils (and a daily vitamin supplement to make sure I don't find myself dangerously low on any nutrient). Beginning tomorrow morning, I plan to eat nothing else until January 1, 2012. Originally, I planned on starting earlier than January 1, but for the sake of organization, why not bow to the Gregorian calendar as we always do?
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My absolute favorite is in my signature. I doubt Tyson really meant it that way, but to me it's a perfect metaphor for the grind of human experience.

 

Another favorite is from Carl Sagan...

 

"To make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

 

At first it's just a good chuckle, but upon further thought I think it's a really nice meditation on man's failure to consider the world outside his own frame of reference.

 

What are some of your favorites?

 

Another great Tyson one is "I will (bad word for make love) until you love me you (bad word for a gay person)." Guy was a romantic.

 

A nice simple one I always liked I heard Jake Delhomme of all people say. "Losers make excuses. Winners find solutions."

 

I have a few I really like:

 

Do you know why you never read about suicides in the newspaper? Because it's not news.

- Joey Comeau

 

I eat vegetables in case I'd feel worse otherwise. And, so I can't blame anything on vitamin deficiencies. So I can be like: this is me, this is exactly how ****ty I feel.

- John Campbell

 

If you gave Falwell an enema he could be buried in a matchbox.

- Christopher Hitchens

 

(I really didn't like Falwell)

 

and...

 

Please nigga, I'm immune to all viruses; I get that cocaine, it cleans out my sinuses.

- His Holiness Pope John Paul II

 

 

I realize he was Big Baby Jesus, but ODB was also the Pope? That man could do anything.

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Another great Tyson one is "I will (bad word for make love) until you love me you (bad word for a gay person)." Guy was a romantic.

 

A nice simple one I always liked I heard Jake Delhomme of all people say. "Losers make excuses. Winners find solutions."

 

 

 

 

I realize he was Big Baby Jesus, but ODB was also the Pope? That man could do anything.

 

 

Losers whine about doing their best. Winners go home and !@#$ the prom queen.

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And the worst side effect of your lentil eating campaign is getting "What ever happened with your lentil eating campaign?" ten months later.

 

I wonder if I'm the only person in the history of the world to answer that specific question more than ten times. If not, who are the others? Was my claim of lentil exclusivity the douchiest among them?

 

These are the questions that keep me up at night.

Edited by SageAgainstTheMachine
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"It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody." Brendan Behan

 

"To be Irish is to know that in the end, the world will break your heart." Daniel Patrick Moynihan

 

"Can't turn a ho into a housewife"-Unknown

 

Si vis pacem, para bellum is a Latin adage translated as, "If you wish for peace, prepare for war"

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!.) "Teaching isn't filling a bucket, it's lighting a fire" William Butler Yeats

 

2. "Our moments of transformation are never our moments of triumph."

 

3. "There are three kinds of people of in this world, those who make things happen, those who have things happen to them, and those who wonder what happened." I don't know, but I like it.

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