Jauronimo

That was my first Bills game. I was sitting in the upper deck next to a guy dressed as a Bills clown. Red wig, big red nose, zubaz, a cape, the works. The Raiders had just ended our little comeback with another TD and lone Raider fan in the section, sporting serious plumbers crack, stood up to give us Bills fans another emphatic Nature Boy style "Wooooooooooooo!". The clown threw his beer at him and offered to "come down there and kick your a$$ in front of your kid!". Everyone else around me agreed that was a very good idea. In a rain of popcorn, beer, and verbal abuse, Raider fan grabbed his 7 year old son and made a break for the nearest exit. That's when I knew that this was the team for me.

I can confirm that he did. Source: I have a lifetime ban from all IHOPs in the continental US.

I'm surprised as well. Your average Raider fan typically hasn't been out of jail long enough to study up on the opponent in any given week. Guess these guys smuggled in cell phones.

If they drafted Wentz, they'd at least be 1-5 by now. At LEAST! In another shocking turn of events, Jordan Reed injured on the play. Can't believe he went this long.

Still, to this day, the most famous Philadelphian is a fictional mentally challenged person who left his job at the pet shop and went on to get punched in the face for a living. Not Ben Franklin, not actual boxer Joe Frazier. Rocky f$#@%ing Balboa. Great work, Philly.

As many as it takes?

Halftime Thoughts Wentz was mostly garbage until the last 2 mins. Washington was mostly good until the last 2 mins of the half. I have barely noticed Gruden's buffoonery. Turns out these beers are 7.6% ABV. I guarantee I'd try to plant one on Suzy Kolber right now #BroadwayJoe style. I have noticed Hochuli's buffoonery early and often. Dude needs to get over himself. Why the f@$# is a ref a celebrity in the first place?? Van Pelt has a voice for TV but a face for a highway rest stop toilet. He looks like he's been taking skin care tips from Mike Shanahan. Schwartzy's D is fun to watch but I hope the Eagles lose badly.

He got the ball out faster on the 46 yarder.

Hes going to have to get the ball out a lot faster if he's going to have success in the intermediate and short passing game.

"Not a lot to dislike about Nigel Bradham" unless you're a bellhop.

Did Al Michaels take the night off to work on his Weinstein rape jokes? Beach chairs are to Aaron Kromer as Umbrellas are to Nigel Bradham. Ain't nothing to f@#$ wit!

You'd probably be way less of a @#%^ if you were 25, rich and famous. Either that or you'd be way worse. I know I'd have been way worse.

First Quarter Reactions: Junior Galette is looking like he may be back to form. I expect to hear his name included in the race for the Greg Hardy Comeback Player of the Year Award. Look out, ladies! Deuce Gruden, although not tall enough for most of the rides at Six Flags, is definitely not on steroids. There's no such thing as too many penalties when you have Ed Hochuli's overly elaborate explanations.

Little known facts: Philadelphia Eagles QB Carson Wentz is actually not related to beloved actor George Wendt of Cheers fame who is, surprisingly, very much still alive. Who would have guessed? The Washington Redskins, despite an up and down 3-2 start to the season, actually lead the NFL in active lawsuits against.

I'm going to wait until the All 22 comes out before passing judgment, but my hunch is that Wentz yelled "500!" before lobbing that one up for grabs.

Ed Hochuli puts asses in the seats.

Fun Bills related Fact from Tonight's game: former Bills TE Jason Peters has made 9 Pro-Bowls which is only 7 more Pro Bowls than every Bills OL combined over the same span.

@RealAdamScheffler 3m BREAKING NEWS: I am hearing from sources deep within organizations that Redskins head coach Jay Gruden may have a prior relationship with MNF commentator John Gruden which may explain the unadulterated ball washing of Cousins and the Skins we're being subjected to yet again. Will provided updates as I receive them.

The official MNF thread for football geniuses and tough guys. Tonight's game features a matchup of two cities with a rivalry dating back to the founding of this nation. Perhaps the most controversial team in the NFL with a truly shameful past faces off against the city synonymous with our founding fathers and the birth of the USA. I'm not totally sure which team is which at the moment but we might learn a little more today as the self-proclaimed "most passionate fans in football" (read: irrationally violent) takes on the Washington "we swear its not racist" Redskins Washingtons. Key Matchups: Jordan Reed vs Frailty Dan Snyder vs Jim Schwartz - Who will be the most smug summabich in the NFL? Betting Line: Who will be tonight's Gruden Ground Grinders?? - Josh Doctson, Nelson Agholor, a 3-legged dog that runs onto the field Over/Under on "Here's a guy"s - 27

The Ol' Tonawanda Sunday Roast, as its know in some parts.

Inserting the Ol' "Polish table slats", as its known in some parts, is a proud Buffalo tradition and traditions don't have to make sense (for further proof see: Day, Dyngus). It may seem silly to outsiders, but "Canadian Table Dancing" is part of the fabric of our community.

If our grandparents were all as scared and sheltered as you, we'd all be speaking German right now. If you can't handle the ol Cheektowaga Centerpiece then maybe you should be sipping rosé with the Pats fans.

What part of four confuses you? Its an integer between 3 and 5. You don't even have to take off your shoe to do this math. They traded their second round pick, the 44th overall pick, the 191st overall pick to move up to 37. That's three picks. Then they used the 37th pick on Zay for a total of FOUR picks! Do you need me to set this one up for you in common core?

And rules, like tables, were made to be broken.

I'm very sorry for your loss. My condolences.