Johnny Hammersticks

This. Everyone likes a jock/pot head!

So don't get married if you're young and still want to bone lots of women. Some day you may want to get married. Don't end up like my Uncle Joe. Getting thrown out of the mall for making sexually inappropriate comments to elderly female mall walkers.

What a twatwaffle. Seems like you need to revisit your custody agreement in court. Get a good lawyer. It's worth it. Well, to be fair, chef's perception is based on JSP's posting record in PPP. So it must be legit.

Awww, man. You regret having your kids, bro? No bueno. How old are they? Do you see them? What's the scoop here?

Yes, but what are your thoughts about Adolphus Washington and the gun incident? I wonder what type of cheese Adolphus eats while he is shining his gun?

It's called getting old and becoming complacent. That's what happens when you hit your mid-late 30's and are still married. I got married when I was 29 and still had hot young women offering up the booty. When I first got married girls came out of the woodwork. Something about that ring. Never strayed though. My wife was a smokin hot piece of @$$. Still is pretty hot at 36 after 2 kids. She's a great mom, a decent cook, and she rarely gives me Schmitt about anything. That's why I'm still married. Some of my friends' wives are freakin twatwaffles. No way man. I'd be out of there. Living at an apartment complex with JSP and Kirk Van Houten.

Twatwaffle?! Hahahahaha! May I use that?

Wow. Gloves are off!! Dang chef...who pissed in your Wheaties this morning?

Jeebus! He'd make Gronk look like Wes Welker! 6'7" 280 with that type of athleticism...unreal.

Bunch of married people that hate each other. It seems like most of the couples the Mrs. And I hang out with actually really dislike each other. Seems like they stay married either for financial reasons or for the sake of the children. I gets really obvious and uncomfortable for everyone at times. Also an anecdotal observation here, but I recall a lot of my friends' parents splitting within 2-3 years of hem graduating high school.

Can't knock the hustle... My wife and I recently celebrated our 8th anniversary. She's cool and all, but I don't know about all this "the one" talk. You find one that is the least crazy that will let you bone her every once in a while. That's the secret to a happy marriage. Ouch...

What's the gayest cheese and the gayest cracker?

Dude is an absolute freak of nature.

Judge

Oops...meant Hodges.

Sam: Ragland/Lorax Mike: P. Brown/Ragland Will: Hughes/Humber

You're high on cracked pepper Triscuits? I gotta run to Price Chopper real quick...

Gotcha. I really enjoyed it (obviously), and I think Jeremy Renner was particularly awesome in this film. To each his/her own I suppose.

Wow. In Vermont the couple actually has to reside together for 6 months AFTER filing for divorce! I guess the rational is that they want you to give it one last chance or something. I have a coworker friend who is going through this process, and it has been ugly. They clearly are not a healthy couple, and should not be living together. I feel bad mostly for their 3 kids.

One time I accidentally sent an email bitching about a co-worker to the co-worker I was bitching about. It was pretty embarrassing, and it took a while to re-establish a trusting collegial relationship.

I'll let the mods field this one, but I believe 3 warning points is the equivalent of saying a curse word in front of your grandmother. 4 Hail Marys and 4 Act of Contritions should do it.

Good job. But do something secretly vindictive like hide a bag of raw shrimp in the cabin air filter of her car or something.

Few of the priests I've seen lately actually have a good grasp on the English language. Mostly, it seems the priests are "shipped in" from Eastern European and African countries. I went to a wedding last month in the church that I grew up in, and the priest was from The Ukraine. Could barely understand the guy. The priest who married my cousin (at a different church in my hometown) was from Cameroon.

My cousin Angie has been known to make people like this disappear. She's a pro. PM me.

Maybe she cra-cray?