KD in CA Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I'd be interested in hearing the other side(s) of the story. Really? You'd want to ready any more of this modern era whining? I Dont want to live here but im stuck in a lease....how can i make this bearable or better? Dude, you need to grow a set and stand up for yourself. Who gives a crap if these idoits don't talk to you anymore? What's the problem? I also don't understand how you signed a lease with 3 guys you never met before. Aren't you in the college housing? You can leave whenever you want -- just go find someone where else to live that has cheap rent (hint: find somewhere with only one roommate). Is someone really going to sue you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLZFAN4LIFE Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 its not that easy dude. LIFE is not that easy. you arent going to get a "perfect reply" typed on a message board that changes who you are and how you act. you gotta take it one day at a time and one interaction at a time. the fact that youre here, seeking advice from a bunch of strangers, and not dealing with the reality of your life that is right outside your bedroom door is your first mistake. theres a starting point for you. but just like everyone else in this entire world, you gotta figure life out for yourself. Does anyone ever figure life out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDawkinstein Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Really? You'd want to ready any more of this modern era whining? the only difference between this situation, and life-lessons that everyone has gone through for the past 50 years when going away to college, is that nowadays kids have the internet where they can post their stupid ****. and its stupid **** to us because we've been through it already. but kids in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, etc ALL went through stuff like this when they first went away to college. this has less to do with the "pussification of America" and more to do with growing up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDawkinstein Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Does anyone ever figure life out? great point. probably not. or, typical of the cosmic shame, we figure it out right as we're about to die. more likely, we figure it out after we pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millbank Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 LA i believe had it right. You need stand up for yourself and not be so concerned what these folk are thinking. Clearly they are going to give you a attitude if you seem susceptible. Simply make it clear you are just as they are and would like some help with the gas money to get groceries. That could be bartered somewhat, its in order they chip in with a case of beer or decent meal out on them. Be a decent honest person, tell the person giving out your beer it can't happen anymore or he will pay for it, you can't afford it. Given the situation, perhaps get speaking with other students, got to believe with some patience you should be able to find another person to take over your part of lease. Don't get all huffy, just stand your ground, if you don't get any results, relax, make some friends , enjoy your time, find another to take over your lease, plenty of young people are coming in and out of your environment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justnzane Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 the only difference between this situation, and life-lessons that everyone has gone through for the past 50 years when going away to college, is that nowadays kids have the internet where they can post their stupid ****. and its stupid **** to us because we've been through it already. but kids in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, etc ALL went through stuff like this when they first went away to college. this has less to do with the "pussification of America" and more to do with growing up. yes... we all dealt with it in some way, like me alternating between heavy drinking and "dating" girls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayFinkle Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 its not that easy dude. LIFE is not that easy. you arent going to get a "perfect reply" typed on a message board that changes who you are and how you act. you gotta take it one day at a time and one interaction at a time. the fact that youre here, seeking advice from a bunch of strangers, and not dealing with the reality of your life that is right outside your bedroom door is your first mistake. theres a starting point for you. but just like everyone else in this entire world, you gotta figure life out for yourself. The kid is just looking for some advice. Oddly enough, if I have a question which I don't feel like researching, I'll post it here. That is the beauty of the internet. Some folks here actually are fairly knowledgable and have been through similar situations. Most of my questions have to do with home improvement projects, but I guess somebody might know what to do if your roommate drinks your beer. 1. hide your beer 2. if you are driving to wegmans, invite your roomies to go with. 3. if they take longer to shop than you, warn them and then leave them there if they do not comply. guarantee after you do it once, they will learn. 4. NEVER take **** from an asian foreign exchange student Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 well just to give everyone an update i just went out in the commo n room and tried to make peace with the 5th year senior reguarding the 6 pack and he basically rejected my apology. Told me i was a coward for buying it with his card and that it was bull **** that i tried to just simply give it back to him and he said he straight cannot forget about it. I just tried to do the right thing and it blew up.....wtf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 well just to give everyone an update i just went out in the commo n room and tried to make peace with the 5th year senior reguarding the 6 pack and he basically rejected my apology. Told me i was a coward for buying it with his card and that it was bull **** that i tried to just simply give it back to him and he said he straight cannot forget about it. I just tried to do the right thing and it blew up.....wtf Duel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bartshan-83 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 well just to give everyone an update i just went out in the commo n room and tried to make peace with the 5th year senior reguarding the 6 pack and he basically rejected my apology. Told me i was a coward for buying it with his card and that it was bull **** that i tried to just simply give it back to him and he said he straight cannot forget about it. I just tried to do the right thing and it blew up.....wtf Nail in the coffin. Your roommate is a girl. I'll echo LA because he gave you the best advice given how you seem to have a pathological need to "fix" this. You don't need everyone to like you. I'm not being a dick because I have trouble with it too...I'm sure most people as well to a greater or lesser degree. Unless you really just don't give a fck about anyone (see the poster above me...I kid I kid Jim), it's natural to want people to get along with you. But this situation is broken. I don't know you and your personality, nor your roommates and theirs. But it's not working. It's easy for people to come on here and tell you to "man up" or something along those lines because they don't have to wake up in your apartment for the next 6 months. If I were you, I'd go back down there when all of them are there and tell them that you don't know how things got to where they are, but either we need to work it out RIGHT NOW, or we go our separate ways. If you don't get a positive and/or at least willing response, start researching your next move. Might have to pay some $$$ for breaking your lease, you might have to find some shtty temporary place. But pack your sht and move on. Life (and especially COLLEGE for chrissakes) is too short to waste being miserable. Best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDawkinstein Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 well just to give everyone an update i just went out in the commo n room and tried to make peace with the 5th year senior reguarding the 6 pack and he basically rejected my apology. Told me i was a coward for buying it with his card and that it was bull **** that i tried to just simply give it back to him and he said he straight cannot forget about it. I just tried to do the right thing and it blew up.....wtf it didnt blow up. he's being an idiot. he's going to let a 6 PACK OF EFFING BEER ruin the living situation? fine, youre better off without him. i dont know what you said exactly or how you said it, but dude sounds like a dick. you took advantage of having his card, like they took advantage of you having a car. if he cant "forget about it" then seriously, eff him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 it didnt blow up. he's being an idiot. he's going to let a 6 PACK OF EFFING BEER ruin the living situation? fine, youre better off without him. i dont know what you said exactly or how you said it, but dude sounds like a dick. you took advantage of having his card, like they took advantage of you having a car. if he cant "forget about it" then seriously, eff him. My exact words were hey Eddie i dont want there to be a huge rift here and he went off calling me a coward for using his card and saying it was bull the way i gave him back the 6 pack. I sat there looked him dead in the eye and listened to what he said. I told him look i agree with you i was stupid and selfish and what i did was wrong and truely i apologize. All he said was I'm sorry if you expected something else and stared at his computer.... neither of my other two roommates said a word they were both in the room. I sat there for a second and said. truely Eddie im sorry id take it back if i could I'm sorry really i am. He didnt say anything and nobody else did....i just got up and went in my room....what else could i do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDawkinstein Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 My exact words were hey Eddie i dont want there to be a huge rift here and he went off calling me a coward for using his card and saying it was bull the way i gave him back the 6 pack. I sat there looked him dead in the eye and listened to what he said. I told him look i agree with you i was stupid and selfish and what i did was wrong and truely i apologize. All he said was I'm sorry if you expected something else and stared at his computer.... neither of my other two roommates said a word they were both in the room. I sat there for a second and said. truely Eddie im sorry id take it back if i could I'm sorry really i am. He didnt say anything and nobody else did....i just got up and went in my room....what else could i do? eh, fug it. if he wasnt willing to accept your apology the first and second time, no need to keep at it. honestly (and yes this is stupid) but it just makes you look weak or like you were the only one who was wrong. there was a reason that you felt you should do that (even though it was indeed wrong and cowardly). giving away stuff that isnt his (like he did with your beers) is exactly the same thing. hes just being childish because youre the one being big enough to apologize. he's a baby. theres a reason he's a 5th year senior and has no friends to live with. the only other thing you could have done is, when you got up to leave said "ok, if you want to be a puzzy about it, have it your way" seriously, eff this dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 eh, fug it. if he wasnt willing to accept your apology the first and second time, no need to keep at it. honestly (and yes this is stupid) but it just makes you look weak or like you were the only one who was wrong. there was a reason that you felt you should do that (even though it was indeed wrong and cowardly). giving away stuff that isnt his (like he did with your beers) is exactly the same thing. hes just being childish because youre the one being big enough to apologize. he's a baby. theres a reason he's a 5th year senior and has no friends to live with. the only other thing you could have done is, when you got up to leave said "ok, if you want to be a puzzy about it, have it your way" seriously, eff this dude The worst part is agree with you but tomorrow i have to wake up and see this dipshit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 And what makes it even worse is i even stood up for myslef and told the one roomate whos not a dick to me all the time i wouldnt drive him to get beer bc i was sick of doing it sat there and watched me get destoyed by this fuching trashball and do nothing....there is not enough beer right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 OK. Seriously, HR... screw the dude. What do you care if he likes/respects you? First thing, though, don't apologize for buying a 6er when he gave away a 30 pack. When he first complained about it, you should have told him to" off, you took my beer I took yours. You got a problem with it leave my alone." Nothing more really needs to be said in that situation. Screw all the apology, can't we all just be friends stuff. He doesn't like you, you don't like him. That's just the way it is. I say go about your business in the house and screw him. No need to talk to him, no need to even acknowledge he's there. Yeah its a little uncomfortable, but there's not much way around that now. As for the other guys, I say same thing. If you're going somewhere and they want to tag along... sure why not. But screw all this drivin Miss Daisy crap. Gas costs money. If they want rides they need to give up gas money, its as simple as that. Unless you're just bored and want to get out. The situation sounds pretty uncomfortable all the way around. But, from your description, you've done nothing wrong. So, screw the apology stuff. Just go about your business, spend time at the library or somewhere like that studying. And basically don't worry about them. They'll either come around or they won't. But, that's out of your control so no sense worrying about it. Some people you meet are just wipes. As others have said, it's just the way it is. Why waste your time with them. Oh yeah, and next time they want to have a "house meeting" or whatever to talk about their feelings and crap, tell them you didn't join a sorority. Why don't they just throw Legally Blonde in the DVD and all have a good cry or something? I mean, really, guys don't have meetings to talk about what's bothering them. They rag the crap out of each other over beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rstencel Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Been in a very similar situation. Have to say there is no good way out of it. The maturity level of the people you are dealing isn't very high. They are self centered and only see their own point of view. Its probably too late to save those relationships, but in future may want to be less accommodating in early stages with roommates. Not saying to be a jerk, but don't try and go out of your way for them, unless they will expect that every time. Have to make them suffer some in beginning to get them to appreciate it when you do go out of the way. Think of it like coaching. When start out as a hard-ass can always get softer, but if start out nice and soft, cant try and be harder on them, unless will loose the team. Best thing to try and not let it show that it bothers you when being ignored, and not cave to demands for awhile. By saying hi every time to the guy that wont talk, its showing him that its getting to you, and spurring him on to continue. If try and stay to your own, and don't go out of way to communicate with him, he will stop putting effort into it, and will come around eventually. For the guy making the demands, once you got him the 6 pack, it showed him he can push you. That is probably going to get worse before it gets better. Would try and avoid dealing with him as much as possible, since he is a 5th year senior, should be a roomie past the end of year. By staying away from confrontation for awhile and taking away all the driving around from them for awhile, you can probably recover some of the relationships, by slowing going back to driving them occasionally when they start treating you with more respect. But till they are civil would try and go out of way not to help them, and if they questioned why, would tell them that not going to help someone who is disrespecting me. Is a way to go, and is a way the worked for me for the most part. Had the one guy, similar to the one threatening you for beer money that never did, but rest of people came around, and one ended up being my best man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tcali Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Does anyone ever figure life out? at the point we just about get it sorted out...its dirt nap time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bladiebla Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 My exact words were hey Eddie i dont want there to be a huge rift here and he went off calling me a coward for using his card and saying it was bull the way i gave him back the 6 pack. I sat there looked him dead in the eye and listened to what he said. I told him look i agree with you i was stupid and selfish and what i did was wrong and truely i apologize. All he said was I'm sorry if you expected something else and stared at his computer.... neither of my other two roommates said a word they were both in the room. I sat there for a second and said. truely Eddie im sorry id take it back if i could I'm sorry really i am. He didnt say anything and nobody else did....i just got up and went in my room....what else could i do? You made a mistake and were man enough to apologize to him about it. If he isn't man enough to accept it then that's his choice. Don't let the fact that nobody spoke get in the away, take it as a moral victory. They didnt talk because they did not know what to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stl Bills Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 And what makes it even worse is i even stood up for myslef and told the one roomate whos not a dick to me all the time i wouldnt drive him to get beer bc i was sick of doing it sat there and watched me get destoyed by this fuching trashball and do nothing....there is not enough beer right now Got destroyed? Why did you let yourself get destroyed?.... you should have told that turd to quit being a drama queen and sorry he got his panties all in a bunch over a six pack. You guys all sound like a bunch of girls....where the hell do you guys live? Somebody needs to come up there in slap some manhood in ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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