Chef Jim Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Chef, you went to CIA, so you probably did this too. When we were in Pantry Kitchen, the kid on the omelette station would get his a$$ kicked with orders because everyone wanted an omelette that came through the line. You got to pick what kind of omelette you were going to serve if you were on that station. The first couple kids to man that station would do something stupid, like pick a four-cheese omelette, or try to kiss a$$ and put something fancy together to impress the instructor. After seeing those guys get buried, our group started to put really horrible sounding omelettes on the board...tuna and sundried tomato, head cheese and olives, etc. It made for a pretty easy shift. Rettata would make for a pretty easy shift as a special. You'd probably lose you job, but it would be a pretty easy last shift. 372211[/snapback] You just gave me the chills. There were some classes there that just kicked your a$$. For instance did you have chef Bagna? I don't remember when you were there. He even makes it into Tony Bourdain's book Kitchen Confindential. He was a maniac. I mean there was this time I tried to put pickle juice in my fritatta and..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Coli Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 You just gave me the chills. There were some classes there that just kicked your a$$. For instance did you have chef Bagna? I don't remember when you were there. He even makes it into Tony Bourdain's book Kitchen Confindential. He was a maniac. I mean there was this time I tried to put pickle juice in my fritatta and..................... 372213[/snapback] Wasn't Bagna Stage Kitchen? Didn't he lock a kid in the pot cage and throw boiling water at him? Chef Hessner threw a frozen duck at my head, once. Good times at the CIA...good times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Wasn't Bagna Stage Kitchen? Didn't he lock a kid in the pot cage and throw boiling water at him? Chef Hessner threw a frozen duck at my head, once. Good times at the CIA...good times. 372226[/snapback] Not stage kitchen. K-7 or probably K-9 because he treated us like dogs. But I did cut my finger pretty bad in his kitchen and he turned into a real kitty cat. Changed completely to make sure I was ok. Very weird but I think I really got to see the true chef Bagna, not the a-hole front he put up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BF_in_Indiana Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Damn, I could have that gem of a gourmet dish done in under 15 minutes. But then again, I am a professional. 372207[/snapback] THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE. You start with uncooked macaroni. You have to boil the water, throw it in there, wait for it to get finished, drain it, and then fry them, adding the eggs towards the end when the noodles begin to brown. Even on "high" the cooking portion takes 15 to 20 minutes. That's not counting the boiling, adding the noodles, and draining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BF in Indiana Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Hang in there BF. Some girl is going to see pickle juice stains on your Bills t-shirt and will consider you a project guy. Ripe for the molding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BF_in_Indiana Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Screw you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Hey BF, fear factor called. They want you to stop publishing their recipes in the TBD cookbook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE. You start with uncooked macaroni. You have to boil the water, throw it in there, wait for it to get finished, drain it, and then fry them, adding the eggs towards the end when the noodles begin to brown. Even on "high" the cooking portion takes 15 to 20 minutes. That's not counting the boiling, adding the noodles, and draining. 372234[/snapback] It's possible when you don't spend 40 minutes on the phone asking "Mama??? How do you peel an egg???" I cooked for my wife the other day: steamed broccoli with garlic butter and grilled chicken served over angel hair pasta with an olive oil and sun-dried tomato sauce. It took half an hour...15 minutes of which was thawing the frozen chicken. And you can't boil noodles and scramble eggs in less than an hour? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 I'm not sure I'd be tossing that name around when you've publically admitted it takes you an hour to cook this friggin abortion. Of course, that may include the drive to the store and the other 43 minutes it takes you to pick the shell out of the pan. "Ow, hot. Ow, hot. Ow, hot!" Fried eggs, pasta, and pickle juice? That's not a recipe, it's wicked hangover Saturday morning breakfast at the college bachelor pad with all the food left in the house. Well, unless you're pregnant. 371539[/snapback] This is the funniest fuggin post I have ever read! I thought about it a few times a day and started laughing my ass off! My friends are asking me "what the hell are you laughing at?" Of course I laughed harder and said you would not understand. I can imagine what they are thinking. Man-everytime I think of pickle juice, eggs, noodles and an abortion I will laugh my ass off. Greatest post ever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Dude, add cheese and subtract the pickle juice (WTF????) and it's a frittata. It's a rather common way of disposing of leftover pasta...the operative words there being "disposing" and "leftover". In fact, I've got that same recipe in a cookbook, with three alterations: 1) use cheese, 2) don't use pickle juice, and 3) prep time is 20 minutes. But it takes you an hour???? Does pouring the pickle juice over it REALLY take an extra 40 minutes? Fried noodles and scrambled eggs with pickle juice. Christ. You should just call it "Hearty meal for the single male with no prospects". 371744[/snapback] Frittatta usually has vegetables in it, lots of vegetables. Pickle juice does not count as a vegetable unless you live in Indiana Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Frittatta usually has vegetables in it, lots of vegetables. Pickle juice does not count as a vegetable unless you live in Indiana 372405[/snapback] I've seen a few recipes without vegetables. I've even seen a few without pasta (with potatos instead). Either way, BF's concoction can properly be called a Short Bus Frittata or, as seems to be the consensus, a Retard frittata or 'Retatta'. And it still doesn't explain how it takes an hour to boil noodles and scramble eggs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverNRed Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 I've seen a few recipes without vegetables. I've even seen a few without pasta (with potatos instead). Either way, BF's concoction can properly be called a Short Bus Frittata or, as seems to be the consensus, a Retard frittata or 'Retatta'. And it still doesn't explain how it takes an hour to boil noodles and scramble eggs... 372428[/snapback] Holy crap, this may be the funniest thing I've ever read. The "Retatta" sentence is headed straight for my signature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverNRed Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 I'm not sure I'd be tossing that name around when you've publically admitted it takes you an hour to cook this friggin abortion. 371539[/snapback] ...another nominee for funniest sentence ever..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CentralVaBills Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 This is the funniest fuggin post I have ever read! I thought about it a few times a day and started laughing my ass off! My friends are asking me "what the hell are you laughing at?" Of course I laughed harder and said you would not understand. I can imagine what they are thinking. Man-everytime I think of pickle juice, eggs, noodles and an abortion I will laugh my ass off. Greatest post ever! 372402[/snapback] Pete, I agree. That had to be the greatest post in TBD history. I was doing the same thing at work today. Check in on TSW, and I kept re-reading AD's particular post and laughing my ass off. I know people were like.....WTF is he doing. A perfect blend of anger, humiliation, disbelief, cockiness, and sarcasm. I mean, you can't write up better stuff than that. An instant classic. "This Friggin Abortion" should live on forever. I almost choked when I first read that, and then followed the link. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BF_in_Indiana Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 All I can say is that it's quite easy to entertain monkeys. You guys prove that fact every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nick in* england Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Pickle juice is optional. I don't use it, but some people do. It takes almost an hour to make the dish. The noodles take a while to boil, sit, and then you have to fry them. 371993[/snapback] I'm sorry to prolong the misery here... But this has got to be a misnomer... Pickle juice is optional. I don't use it, but some people do. What fuggin people?? The french (Nouilles frites par oeuf sans jus de cornichon)?? The germans (Ei gebratene Nudeln ohne Essiggurkesaft)??? The chinese (蛋油煎的麵條沒有嫩黃瓜汁)???? The spanish (Tallarines fritos huevo sin el jugo del pepinillo)????? Sorry but this recipe looks to me like it's basically re-freid barf. YOU are the ONLY person who would make and eat this steaming heap of vomit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eball Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 That would be the idiot from Alaska who had nothing better to do with his Wednesday night than to look for the stupidest thing he could find 372073[/snapback] ROFLMAO....and he succeeded in finding the stupidest thing ever. well done AD. i can't believe i missed this yesterday. how do you get coffee off an LCD monitor screen and keyboard? i had to share this one with my wife (a gourmet cook) and she was crying with laughter. DING! that's the timer. the 30 minute noodles are almost done. another 30 and the retard frittata will be ready! damn, i wish the recipe wasn't so complicated... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 I'm sorry to prolong the misery here... But this has got to be a misnomer... Pickle juice is optional. I don't use it, but some people do. What fuggin people?? The french (Nouilles frites par oeuf sans jus de cornichon)?? The germans (Ei gebratene Nudeln ohne Essiggurkesaft)??? The chinese (蛋油煎的麵條沒有嫩黃瓜汁)???? The spanish (Tallarines fritos huevo sin el jugo del pepinillo)????? Sorry but this recipe looks to me like it's basically re-freid barf. YOU are the ONLY person who would make and eat this steaming heap of vomit. 372507[/snapback] Or people looking for a snack when drunk, after goosing the Queen. Right Nick? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nick in* england Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Or people looking for a snack when drunk, after goosing the Queen. Right Nick? 372536[/snapback] ok maybe them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CentralVaBills Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 ROFLMAO....and he succeeded in finding the stupidest thing ever. well done AD. i can't believe i missed this yesterday. how do you get coffee off an LCD monitor screen and keyboard? i had to share this one with my wife (a gourmet cook) and she was crying with laughter. DING! that's the timer. the 30 minute noodles are almost done. another 30 and the retard frittata will be ready! damn, i wish the recipe wasn't so complicated... 372522[/snapback] Even now, a full two days later.......I'm not dying laughing, but just knowing that you just read and laughed at the post made me re-laugh at it also. I think the post should be pinned somewhere permanently. It has even spunoff into other off-shoot posts. It even took over FAT. Perhaps the most influential post of all time. Maybe not thread, but no single individual post may have done more damage than this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gantrules Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 No joke I was driving yesterday night and " this friggin abortion" kept popping in my head and I kept smiling and chuckling. I think my wife thought I was losing it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramius Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Even now, a full two days later.......I'm not dying laughing, but just knowing that you just read and laughed at the post made me re-laugh at it also. I think the post should be pinned somewhere permanently. It has even spunoff into other off-shoot posts. It even took over FAT. Perhaps the most influential post of all time. Maybe not thread, but no single individual post may have done more damage than this one. 372571[/snapback] AD's post that makes me still laugh thinking about it, belgongs where onyl 1 other post has gone to, with regards to completely changing a thread and the tune of the board...and that other post was the now famous Cutting Drew with Dignity... "Are you missing a chromosome, or do you just continually want attention" Great stuff AD... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puhonix Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 The beauty is that AD posted, and then sits back and lets his work construct itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BF_in_Indiana Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 ROFLMAO....and he succeeded in finding the stupidest thing ever. well done AD. i can't believe i missed this yesterday. how do you get coffee off an LCD monitor screen and keyboard? i had to share this one with my wife (a gourmet cook) and she was crying with laughter. DING! that's the timer. the 30 minute noodles are almost done. another 30 and the retard frittata will be ready! damn, i wish the recipe wasn't so complicated... 372522[/snapback] You better hope you and I never meet. I mean that whole heartedly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BF_in_Indiana Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Even now, a full two days later.......I'm not dying laughing, but just knowing that you just read and laughed at the post made me re-laugh at it also. I think the post should be pinned somewhere permanently. It has even spunoff into other off-shoot posts. It even took over FAT. Perhaps the most influential post of all time. Maybe not thread, but no single individual post may have done more damage than this one. 372571[/snapback] You are the kid in the back with ADD that just won't shut up. HEY HEY HEY OVER HERE, LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT THIS!!!!! GOD SHUT THE F U C K up already Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puhonix Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 You better hope you and I never meet. I mean that whole heartedly. 372780[/snapback] Wow, that sounds serious... I'd be careful. I see BF has a free afternoon, and his tupperware and travelling spoon are ready to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BF_in_Indiana Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Wow, that sounds serious... 372783[/snapback] I am serious. Maybe someday you will be lucky enough to recieve PM's from eball telling you how he really doesn't care that your relative just passed away and that you posted about it just for attention. Maybe you will be so lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 All I can say is that it's quite easy to entertain monkeys. You guys prove that fact every day. 372498[/snapback] Don't know how you find the time when you spend so much boiling elbow macaroni. C'mon, man..an hour???? (I already know your answer, too..."Well, you gotta FRY them too..." ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BF_in_Indiana Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Don't know how you find the time when you spend so much boiling elbow macaroni. C'mon, man..an hour???? (I already know your answer, too..."Well, you gotta FRY them too..." ) 372789[/snapback] Well cook it yourself (hell throw it out when you are done if it looks horrible to you) and tell me you can do it in any less than 45 minutes. It's not possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 I am serious. Maybe someday you will be lucky enough to recieve PM's from eball telling you how he really doesn't care that your relative just passed away and that you posted about it just for attention. Maybe you will be so lucky. 372787[/snapback] You mean like when you told Tom to kill himself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Well cook it yourself (hell throw it out when you are done if it looks horrible to you) and tell me you can do it in any less than 45 minutes. It's not possible. 372793[/snapback] "Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a noodles slower in Indiana kitchens than in any other place on the face of the earth? Or perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on Indiana stoves! Were they magic noodles?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 You are the kid in the back with ADD that just won't shut up. HEY HEY HEY OVER HERE, LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT THIS!!!!! GOD SHUT THE F U C K up already 372781[/snapback] Let's try and remember when I told you to be a good sport. What are you, twelve? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CentralVaBills Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 You are the kid in the back with ADD that just won't shut up. HEY HEY HEY OVER HERE, LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT THIS!!!!! GOD SHUT THE F U C K up already 372781[/snapback] And this is precisely why, I played the "look over here" card on your dumb ass. You can just never shut up. Seriously "dipshit" ......did you notice "this friggin abortion" to be dying down today, until you again just stirred the pot? HOW UTTERLY STUPID ARE YOU? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puhonix Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 "Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a noodles slower in Indiana kitchens than in any other place on the face of the earth? Or perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on Indiana stoves! Were they magic noodles?" 372798[/snapback] My Cousin Vinny.... well done. I was thinking the same thing reading where this was headed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 My Cousin Vinny.... well done. I was thinking the same thing reading where this was headed. 372817[/snapback] But was it a good movie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puhonix Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 But was it a good movie? 372821[/snapback] I'll just say its an academy award winner... by accident or not, is not for me to decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike in Syracuse Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 I'm just curious, after reading this monstrosity is it possible that "pickle juice" is a euphamism for "man pudding"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puhonix Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 I'm just curious, after reading this monstrosity is it possible that "pickle juice" is a euphamism for "man pudding"? 372827[/snapback] wow.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BF_in_Indiana Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 You mean like when you told Tom to kill himself? 372794[/snapback] Two things. I wasn't too much of a chikenshit to say it out in front of EVERYONE like eball is. Secondly, that has no real bearing on this situation, because I felt bad after doing what I did. I apologized and it was accepted. eball still wants to get into it with me. I'm more than happy to oblige with that !@#$. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BF_in_Indiana Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 And this is precisely why, I played the "look over here" card on your dumb ass. You can just never shut up. Seriously "dipshit" ......did you notice "this friggin abortion" to be dying down today, until you again just stirred the pot? HOW UTTERLY STUPID ARE YOU? 372809[/snapback] That's because I will NEVER allow you hate mongers to get the last word in. When you decide to screw with me, you better be prepared to do it a long time, because I'll go the distance with any of you !@#$s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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