RochesterRob Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 I worked with this fellow over 25 years ago but it surprised me upon the mention of this guy earlier today the animosity I had left for him. I'm usually the kind of guy who lets the sands of time blow over and cover up minor misdeeds done against me but all I could think of were all the bad times I had in dealing with this guy. The guy would always hide and never answer the phone in his department. He always had an excuse why he could never work late or why he could never come in on a Saturday. We all had lives and commitments and duties but he thought his circumstances warranted special treatment. Anybody else in a similar situation just well up with anger upon hearing similar news? Usually, I can find some morsel of good in the turds I knew in life but this guy even though he never directly stole from me or committed a crime I just can't forgive the guy. I guess the positive is that even though that job was a stepping stone to other things that in a number of other respects it was a decent time in my life. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
row_33 Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 A former dirtbag of a co-worker was killed in a bizarre road accident about a year ago, basically the same thing as you with the animosity still remaining. I take comfort i won't see him again and he won't be pointlessly antagonizing me every time he sees me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanker Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 Exhale. Or as they say in Jersey, fuggettaboutit. He left a scar on your spiritual self. It'll never heal if you keep picking at its scab. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Fan Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 (edited) Honestly no. Nobody in my adult life I disliked enough to that point. Well that I knew anyway Edited May 1, 2019 by Another Fan 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
row_33 Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 13 minutes ago, Another Fan said: Honestly no. Nobody in my adult life I disliked enough to that point. Well that I knew anyway that's good.... of 200 people i have worked with only 2 were totally beyond the pale people who would think nothing of lying or sabotaging another's work, even when it didn't help them out in the slightest i helped usher a dozen or so out of firms my own way, those 2 were worthy of champagne celebrations when it was over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RochesterRob Posted May 1, 2019 Author Share Posted May 1, 2019 3 minutes ago, Nanker said: Exhale. Or as they say in Jersey, fuggettaboutit. He left a scar on your spiritual self. It'll never heal if you keep picking at its scab. It's been over 25 years ago and honestly he was a person I very seldom thought about in the interim. I probably will have put it behind me by Saturday but it still boils my mind all the times I got stuck cleaning up his messes and problems. 1 minute ago, row_33 said: that's good.... of 200 people i have worked with only 2 were totally beyond the pale people who would think nothing of lying or sabotaging another's work, even when it didn't help them out in the slightest i helped usher a dozen or so out of firms my own way, those 2 were worthy of champagne celebrations when it was over Care to comment further on those assisted exoduses? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
row_33 Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 11 minutes ago, RochesterRob said: It's been over 25 years ago and honestly he was a person I very seldom thought about in the interim. I probably will have put it behind me by Saturday but it still boils my mind all the times I got stuck cleaning up his messes and problems. even so there has to be something that was good about the person to think about, for me this person was good at taking care of his workers financially on projects, but it was other people's money he was throwing around and he didn't care about a budget Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 Words easy to say, but harder to do: LET IT GO. I have had some pretty bad things happen, and I can’t think of anyone I have that kind of resentment over. I won’t let it eat me up. In fact, in some cases I actually feel sorry for them. They have to go through life that way. Setting people up, stabbing them in the back, harming their families is not something you want to look back on when this world is over. In almost every case, we would be considered far more fortunate than those who took the low road. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 show up at his funeral and if anybody asks you came, tell them you just wanted to make sure the son of a b*tch was dead 2 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 After all these years, you're letting a dead man piss you off? Holding a grudge is a choice - an unhealthy choice. Do yourself a favor and let it go. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
row_33 Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 53 minutes ago, RochesterRob said: Care to comment further on those assisted exoduses? it's an accounting specialty that takes a certain type of mindset and work ethic if you were obviously not going to fit in then you might as well leave, there are plenty of other accounting paths to take in your glorious future sometimes a direct chat with the person let them state what they already knew they weren't given a second change to prove they clearly didn't belong on the files and others... well office politics is natural to many we least suspect 26 minutes ago, WhoTom said: After all these years, you're letting a dead man piss you off? Holding a grudge is a choice - an unhealthy choice. Do yourself a favor and let it go. depends..... i knew audit partners who left a trail of former workers whom they sexually harassed at the very least before firing them.... probably not the case here.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 Think of it this way: you can still be angry at his memory. He, OTOH... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
row_33 Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 35 minutes ago, WhoTom said: After all these years, you're letting a dead man piss you off? Holding a grudge is a choice - an unhealthy choice. Do yourself a favor and let it go. you carry around the legacy of what people imprinted on you, most are fortunately forgotten from some you have learned what never to do to people.... ever.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 (edited) 56 minutes ago, row_33 said: you carry around the legacy of what people imprinted on you, most are fortunately forgotten from some you have learned what never to do to people.... ever.... 2 True, and rather than holding onto anger, which hurts myself but not them, I choose to be grateful that 1) I'm not them, and 2) they taught me that lesson. As Augie pointed out, it's easier said than done, but I find the effort is worthwhile for my own peace of mind and for the people around me. Edited May 1, 2019 by WhoTom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 6 minutes ago, WhoTom said: True, and rather than holding onto anger, which hurts myself but not them, I choose to be grateful that 1) I'm not them, and 2) they taught me that lesson. My wife was in sales then moved up to management with a major bank. One of the guys on the management committee was a neighbor who hated change, and was not too fond of women at his level. He undermined her at every opportunity. She has gone onward and upward, while he’s struggling to hang on at a much lower level bank and word is they are tired of him. He later admitted to her he was afraid of changes going on, and he hated losing control. Who won there? We actually feel for the guy. When my bank had a management change, I was one of two people in line to succeed my boss. The other person got it because she had previously worked with the new President. She had the pleasure of eliminating an entire level of management. Good, hard working people who could have had other positions in the bank. They just went with cut and run. A couple years later she was back in mortgage production at another bank. She did the dirty work, and I’d have hated myself had I been in that position. Life happens as it’s meant to happen. Do your best, forgive as much as possible. It’s best for everyone, including YOU. (Criminal stuff needs to face the music, but I don’t feel hatred.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Fan Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 Sometimes people are jerks because they are getting it bad some place else in life or have been victimized themselves. Not making excuses for the guy the OP is alluding too, just saying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
row_33 Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 33 minutes ago, Another Fan said: Sometimes people are jerks because they are getting it bad some place else in life or have been victimized themselves. Not making excuses for the guy the OP is alluding too, just saying It has to stop somewhere You don’t want a dozen people who, if they came across you having a heart attack, would put the fire hose in your mouth and turn it on full blast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koko78 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 3 hours ago, /dev/null said: show up at his funeral and if anybody asks you came, tell them you just wanted to make sure the son of a b*tch was dead Is that before or after he should take a crap in the coffin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boca BIlls Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 3 hours ago, RochesterRob said: I worked with this fellow over 25 years ago but it surprised me upon the mention of this guy earlier today the animosity I had left for him. I'm usually the kind of guy who lets the sands of time blow over and cover up minor misdeeds done against me but all I could think of were all the bad times I had in dealing with this guy. The guy would always hide and never answer the phone in his department. He always had an excuse why he could never work late or why he could never come in on a Saturday. We all had lives and commitments and duties but he thought his circumstances warranted special treatment. Anybody else in a similar situation just well up with anger upon hearing similar news? Usually, I can find some morsel of good in the turds I knew in life but this guy even though he never directly stole from me or committed a crime I just can't forgive the guy. I guess the positive is that even though that job was a stepping stone to other things that in a number of other respects it was a decent time in my life. Good riddance, you dont always need to mourn people. We are human, if a guys sucks you dont need to feel bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 1 hour ago, Koko78 said: Is that before or after he should take a crap in the coffin? Limeaid?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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