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Emmitt Smiths 2013 mock draft. Hilarious


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"This is what a 2013 NFL Mock Draft would look like if Emmitt Smith created one. This is satire, so don't take this seriously. But please read it - Emmitt put blood, sweat and cry into it."

 

Definitely had an Onionish feel to it.

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Walter Football's April Fool's pick for Buffalo was mildly amusing:

 

Buffalo Bills: E.Geno Barkwilbray, QB, Buffalo Laboratory

General manager Buddy Nix is fed up. He's tired of not having a quality quarterback. He's also tired of missing out on the top quarterbacks in the NFL Draft.

 

"Why couldn't we have a doggone high pick last year when those guys named Luck and RG3 came out?" Nix lamented. "Now, there's not a true franchise quarterback in this doggone draft. Just a bunch of OK guys. So I put my scientist to work."

 

Nix's scientist apparently stole blood samples from E.J. Manuel, Geno Smith, Matt Barkley, Tyler Wilson and Tyler Bray at the Combine. He then infused a corpse with all of the blood samples. The new being was supposed to have the best traits of Manuel, Smith, Barkley, Wilson and Bray combined. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. "E.Geno Barkwilbray was supposed to have the best doggone abilities, but he has the worst doggone abilities!" Nix groaned.

 

This is true. E.Geno Barkwilbray is inconsistent. He misses wide-open receivers routinely. He leads a laid-back, Hollywood-type Southern California lifestyle. He has no arm strength. And worst of all, he spends every night throwing beer bottles at cars.

 

We believe that one day, Buffalo will finally have a franchise quarterback.

 

http://walterfootbal...3aprilfools.php

 

Who's the QB that "threw beer bottles at cars"?

Edited by ny33
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Anyone who ever watched Emmitt attempt "analysis" on TV understands the basis for these "mark drafts." His English is a disgrace to anyone who speaks English, and it's not like he hasn't had the opportunity to be around smart people and learn how to speak.

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Anyone who ever watched Emmitt attempt "analysis" on TV understands the basis for these "mark drafts." His English is a disgrace to anyone who speaks English, and it's not like he hasn't had the opportunity to be around smart people and learn how to speak.

He put blood, sweat, and cry into it... lol

 

emmitt went to college, a good one too, and he can barely speak coherently, let alone write a decent sentence, I have no pity for that. It's his own fault he's barley literate and should be embarrassed.

 

Read his book some time; he has a speech impediment. He nearly drove himself mad practicing his HOF speech out of fear that he'd suffer another "Emmittism"

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Read his book some time; he has a speech impediment. He nearly drove himself mad practicing his HOF speech out of fear that he'd suffer another "Emmittism"

 

Well, shucks. You should send that to the guy who runs the site.

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Well, shucks. You should send that to the guy who runs the site.

 

Nah...it's not as though I'm offended or anything, I just think it's worth noting when someone wonders why--with all his fame and fortune--he doesn't speak great English.

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