Just in Atlanta Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 So the Nanny Staters continue their BS, this time a school in New Hampshire. They've banned dodgeball, as well as other "human target" games. Just one thing in a long line of things, including drawings of guns, Pop Tart guns, hugging and more. I've written about these types of school policies many times, including things like the drive in NY to ban youth football, and I still just don't understand why parents don't fight it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 Dodgeball is nature's way of determining who is good and who is fat. Without dodgeball many children will grow up totally unaware that they are different, and that being different is in fact bad. Dodgeball teaches girls about the safety of the herd. Unless of course you're the dumb B word in the back who gets plugged in the face after all the nimble girls in the front scatter. I had front row seats for the demise of dodgeball in school. When I was in elementary school and junior high we played dodgeball constantly in gym class with those super pumped up, vinyl kickballs of all sizes. Those were legit, and I dealt a few concussions and couple of KOs with those bad boys. By high school those had all disappeared and we were then playing with "gator balls" I believe they were called. They were foam and the threat of bodily harm and injury had been almost completely removed. At that point it just wasn't fun anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B-Large Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 How do you humiliate the pussies, geeks and dweebs in school then? I was 6'2" 210 as a Junior in High School... I loved Dodge Ball Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 How do you humiliate the pussies, geeks and dweebs in school then? I was 6'2" 210 as a Junior in High School... I loved Dodge Ball I was a puny kid in elementary school but you threw the ball at me at any speed I was going to catch the !@#$er. I would just stand there and dare them to throw it. I was also the goalie when we played soccer or hockey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 I was a puny kid in elementary school but you threw the ball at me at any speed I was going to catch the !@#$er. I would just stand there and dare them to throw it. I was also the goalie when we played soccer or hockey. Goalies are f@#$ing weirdos. What kind of person volunteers to be the human shield protecting twine from projectiles and is proud of it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 (edited) Goalies are f@#$ing weirdos. What kind of person volunteers to be the human shield protecting twine from projectiles and is proud of it? A !@#$ing weirdo. Oh and I also was a catcher in baseball. And it all started when I was on a pond at a friend's house. His older brother put some homemade goalie gear on me and sent a bucket of pucks zinging past my head. I was forever hooked. Edited March 29, 2013 by Chef Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B-Large Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 (edited) I was a puny kid in elementary school but you threw the ball at me at any speed I was going to catch the !@#$er. I would just stand there and dare them to throw it. I was also the goalie when we played soccer or hockey. Goalies are f@#$ing weirdos. What kind of person volunteers to be the human shield protecting twine from projectiles and is proud of it? I am going to go with Jauranimo here, goalies are !@#$ing weirdos... I've played with some great ones over the years, but I wouldn't let them date my sister Edited March 29, 2013 by B-Large Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magox Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 Dodgeball is nature's way of determining who is good and who is fat. Without dodgeball many children will grow up totally unaware that they are different, and that being different is in fact bad. Dodgeball teaches girls about the safety of the herd. Unless of course you're the dumb B word in the back who gets plugged in the face after all the nimble girls in the front scatter. I had front row seats for the demise of dodgeball in school. When I was in elementary school and junior high we played dodgeball constantly in gym class with those super pumped up, vinyl kickballs of all sizes. Those were legit, and I dealt a few concussions and couple of KOs with those bad boys. By high school those had all disappeared and we were then playing with "gator balls" I believe they were called. They were foam and the threat of bodily harm and injury had been almost completely removed. At that point it just wasn't fun anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just in Atlanta Posted March 29, 2013 Author Share Posted March 29, 2013 I was small in school, and loved dodgeball. We also had a brutal game--that the teachers loved watching--where a ball thrower would stand on top of the hill and throw a football or kickball to a group of kids below. Not only did you have to catch it in traffic but make it up to the top of the hill without being A) tackled by the kid on top of the hill or B) Being gang tackled by the 10 kids at the bottom. When you were tackled, everyone would pile on and it would all start over again. Skinned knees, bruises, and healthy entertainment for those who wanted to play. We're turning our kids into sissies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B-Large Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 I guess kids can't play "Smear the Queer" anymore? I was small in school, and loved dodgeball. We also had a brutal game--that the teachers loved watching--where a ball thrower would stand on top of the hill and throw a football or kickball to a group of kids below. Not only did you have to catch it in traffic but make it up to the top of the hill without being A) tackled by the kid on top of the hill or B) Being gang tackled by the 10 kids at the bottom. When you were tackled, everyone would pile on and it would all start over again. Skinned knees, bruises, and healthy entertainment for those who wanted to play. We're turning our kids into sissies. Its funny, dodgeball and other contact games were where some kids not so physcially or athlectially developed earned some respect and clout just for stepping up and playing the game.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 I guess kids can't play "Smear the Queer" anymore? Yup, that's what we called it. Brutal game. We also had rock fights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 Yup, that's what we called it. Brutal game. We also had rock fights. We called it kill the carrier. Didn't know what queers were in grade school. Apple fights were the norm. While every apple fight began differently, they all ended the same way when the kid with glasses got rocked in the face and ran home screaming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magox Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 So I was reading in the Urban Dictionary regarding the origin of "Smear the Queer" !@#$ing priceless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 We called it kill the carrier. Didn't know what queers were in grade school. Apple fights were the norm. While every apple fight began differently, they all ended the same way when the kid with glasses got rocked in the face and ran home screaming. Well it was originally smear the man but smear the queer had a nice ring to it. Kill the carrier?? Really??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3rdnlng Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 (edited) I am going to go with Jauranimo here, goalies are !@#$ing weirdos... I've played with some great ones over the years, but I wouldn't let them date my sister He'd be the safest person to be with your sister. He did say he was a catcher, you know? Edited March 29, 2013 by 3rdnlng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim in Anchorage Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Well it was originally smear the man but smear the queer had a nice ring to it. Kill the carrier?? Really??? This should go in the gay football player thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B-Large Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Yup, that's what we called it. Brutal game. We also had rock fights. I never wanted to be the queer... rock fights, like with real rocks? He'd be the safest person to be with your sister. He did say he was a catcher, you know? He took a lot of shots from dudes, so I would have to concur.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigfatbillsfan Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 When I played High School Football I was a Safety. I loved playing that position because I liked hitting people really hard without being blocked. Does this make me a bad person? Yup, that's what we called it. Brutal game. We also had rock fights. Were you hit in the head a few times with those rocks? That might explain a few things... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B-Large Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Well it was originally smear the man but smear the queer had a nice ring to it. Kill the carrier?? Really??? Yep, MIA has it right, this belongs in the gay thread... KIll the carrier? Who wants to kill the carrier, but everybody wants to smear the queer.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 So I was reading in the Urban Dictionary regarding the origin of "Smear the Queer" !@#$ing priceless You had to read it in Urban Dictionary?? Smear the Queer was a daily staple of playground life in 6th grade. Good times! As for dodgeball, we had these furry things, but they were softball size so they could be fired at a pretty good clip. I was one of the small guys but was always quick enough to avoid serious harm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Yup, that's what we called it. Brutal game. We also had rock fights. I've still got a scar over my right eye from a rock fight. It was an early lesson in the advantage of the high ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Rock fights, stick wars (beat each other up with sticks. idiots grabbed the huge sticks too heavy to swing), smear the queer.... as many have mentioned. Maybe it was a younger generation but we had... King of the Hill. Pick a patch of land, stand there and the last one left standing at the top of the hill was the winner. You'd throw the others down the hill, etc, etc. If attacking you could throw stuff, too. Red Rover. This is where it helps being the fat kid. Form a line holding hands, have the other line across from you. All of you decide who gets called, "red rover, red rover, send Jim right over." Jim disengages the line and tries to break through the other line. Capture the flag - maybe it was just hardcore addition, but you could beat the piss out of anyone trying to get it. Rock the boat - try to tip the canoe of the other group, oars were valuable weapons, stitches had by a few, but if you focused on hitting the other people you would usually get tipped. I think we played all of those in Boy Scouts. Playing with fire, too, was a highlight. It's a damn shame these kids are such pussies now-a-days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TakeYouToTasker Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Well it was originally smear the man but smear the queer had a nice ring to it. Kill the carrier?? Really??? If the game is what I think it is, we called it "Muckle". We also played a game that didn't actually have a name. Half the class would stand on the top seat of those old steel bleacher sections standing so that they were facing away from the ball field. The other half of the class would run past the bleachers while the kids on top jumped off and tried to drop kick them to the ground. If you successfully drop kicked them down, you were rewarded by getting to switch roles with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 "Muckle". Made me remember getting in a hucklebuck. Just wrestling others then trying to basically submit them in MMA standards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3rdnlng Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 You guys were a bunch of pikers. We fought (played) with apples stuck on the end of an apple tree branch that we could whip at some pretty high speeds. The losers had to jump off the cliff into the waters of Lake Erie with the clincher being that they had to clear the ledge if they wanted to live. Nobody died, a few of us got bruises, there were no lawsuits and none of us were traumitized by our parents calling us dumbschits. Our winter games were another story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Our winter games were another story. Speaking of winter, I haven't seen a kid throw a snowball at a car in at least 20 years. That was an automatic feature of any snowstorm when we were kids. It's probably a "hate crime" now or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
\GoBillsInDallas/ Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Speaking of winter, I haven't seen a kid throw a snowball at a car in at least 20 years. That was an automatic feature of any snowstorm when we were kids. It's probably a "hate crime" now or something. Well, of course it’s a hate crime, you idiot. Snow is “white.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Dodgeball is nature's way of determining who is good and who is fat. Without dodgeball many children will grow up totally unaware that they are different, and that being different is in fact bad. Dodgeball teaches girls about the safety of the herd. Unless of course you're the dumb B word in the back who gets plugged in the face after all the nimble girls in the front scatter. I had front row seats for the demise of dodgeball in school. When I was in elementary school and junior high we played dodgeball constantly in gym class with those super pumped up, vinyl kickballs of all sizes. Those were legit, and I dealt a few concussions and couple of KOs with those bad boys. By high school those had all disappeared and we were then playing with "gator balls" I believe they were called. They were foam and the threat of bodily harm and injury had been almost completely removed. At that point it just wasn't fun anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigfatbillsfan Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I hate to ruin you old man "back in my day" rant session with the news that kids are still playing these games. I have three daughters and they're playing **** like this. The other day they were playing this game where my 6 year old was riding her big wheel down the street while my ten year old was bashing her from behind with her bike. My six year old would try to turn her at the last second and knock my older daughter off her bike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 (edited) Speaking of winter, I haven't seen a kid throw a snowball at a car in at least 20 years. That was an automatic feature of any snowstorm when we were kids. It's probably a "hate crime" now or something. My son did 5 years back waiting for school... He was in like grade 4 or something if I recall. An old battle axe lady (according to him when I read him the riot act about not getting caught) got out of her car and read them the riot act and blew him and his friend into the principal... LoL... She wasn't even affiliated with the school, just passing by... LoL According to her, "he could have caused a serious accident... There could have been a rock in it." Ah, the joy's of parenting, what is a parent to do in that situation? Undermine authority or go along with it? Pretty torn... I should have told him: "KD in CT said it was okay..." ;-) ;-) Anyway... I figure I will pile on with the old man rants: I had to walk uphill to school in the pouring rain... BOTH WAYS! Boy... Them were the days! Back to snowballs... On a camp out one time, my friend shattered the rear window of one of our friend's father's Dodge... Man those 1970's car were POS... My one friend was making faces @ the other through the rear window... Said other friend chucked a snowball... Rear window goes POW! Shatters in a million pieces... LoL... Our friend's Dad wasn't the least bit happy! LoL... Edited March 30, 2013 by ExiledInIllinois Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I never wanted to be the queer... rock fights, like with real rocks? Well stones actually. Used trash can lids as shields. I've still got a scar over my right eye from a rock fight. It was an early lesson in the advantage of the high ground. Yeah, one of our friends got hit in the head and it bled pretty good. We figured best to go back to throwing dirt balls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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