Jump to content

When's a private message not private?


Recommended Posts

Folks:

 

as i'm old and altogether unfamiliar with these issues, i've got myself wondering on what proper protocol on message boards are when it comes to private messages.

 

it's come to my atttention that there's a member of this board who has shared the contents of a private message exchange i had with said member about a month ago. it's nothing terrible, and nothing that i wouldn't have shared in a natural exchange on this board.

 

since it's been published, the poster noted that in a response to his private message (which followed a lengthy exchange on TSW that left said poster unsatisfied), i wrote "i really don't have time for this, sorry."

eventually, the poster persisted, at which point i accused him of being "absurd."

i won't share any other part of the private message exchange discussion, since that hasn't been published.

 

my question is since the person reached out to me in a private message, i kinda assumed that the conversation would be kept, you know, private.

and yet, lo and behold, i happened upon another discussion board in which this information was shared.

 

sure, i understand that everything that we write -- whether it's posts on the board or in private messages -- are open to be made public. and yet, it seems to me that it crosses a bit of a line -- an unwritten rule, perhaps -- to publish the contents of private messages, and on another board no less.

 

 

perhaps, i'm making too much of this. but i'd rather not have private messages shared.

yer thoughts?

 

jw

Edited by john wawrow
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 61
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Private messages are meant to stay private unless both parties agree to let it be made public. If you let the mods know who it is, we can deal with them.

 

Oh, and send me a valid credit card number so I can be sure you are who you say you are, I promise not to share it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with you. The difficulty though is that you can't control the actions and "groundrules" that others will follow. As for me, I assume everything I put in email, PM's and certainly on this board might be seen by the public. As a result, I am very conservative about what, if anything, I say or share. There is also an unknown element. Everything that is put out on the internet is "discoverable." This may be legitimately through tools like Google or it may be through malicious action. No matter how or where along this spectrum words are exposed they can be very damaging.

 

Interesting topic.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Private messages are meant to stay private unless both parties agree to let it be made public. If you let the mods know who it is, we can deal with them.

 

Oh, and send me a valid credit card number so I can be sure you are who you say you are, I promise not to share it.

 

 

Didn't see that anywhere in the terms of service. Maybe it should be?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just sent you a private message with my thoughts... :-)

 

Folks:

 

as i'm old and altogether unfamiliar with these issues, i've got myself wondering on what proper protocol on message boards are when it comes to private messages.

 

it's come to my atttention that there's a member of this board who has shared the contents of a private message exchange i had with said member about a month ago. it's nothing terrible, and nothing that i wouldn't have shared in a natural exchange on this board.

 

since it's been published, the poster noted that in a response to his private message (which followed a lengthy exchange on TSW that left said poster unsatisfied), i wrote "i really don't have time for this, sorry."

eventually, the poster persisted, at which point i accused him of being "absurd."

i won't share any other part of the private message exchange discussion, since that hasn't been published.

 

my question is since the person reached out to me in a private message, i kinda assumed that the conversation would be kept, you know, private.

and yet, lo and behold, i happened upon another discussion board in which this information was shared.

 

sure, i understand that everything that we write -- whether it's posts on the board or in private messages -- are open to be made public. and yet, it seems to me that it crosses a bit of a line -- an unwritten rule, perhaps -- to publish the contents of private messages, and on another board no less.

 

 

perhaps, i'm making too much of this. but i'd rather not have private messages shared.

yer thoughts?

 

jw

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Folks:

 

as i'm old and altogether unfamiliar with these issues, i've got myself wondering on what proper protocol on message boards are when it comes to private messages.

 

it's come to my atttention that there's a member of this board who has shared the contents of a private message exchange i had with said member about a month ago. it's nothing terrible, and nothing that i wouldn't have shared in a natural exchange on this board.

 

since it's been published, the poster noted that in a response to his private message (which followed a lengthy exchange on TSW that left said poster unsatisfied), i wrote "i really don't have time for this, sorry."

eventually, the poster persisted, at which point i accused him of being "absurd."

i won't share any other part of the private message exchange discussion, since that hasn't been published.

 

my question is since the person reached out to me in a private message, i kinda assumed that the conversation would be kept, you know, private.

and yet, lo and behold, i happened upon another discussion board in which this information was shared.

 

sure, i understand that everything that we write -- whether it's posts on the board or in private messages -- are open to be made public. and yet, it seems to me that it crosses a bit of a line -- an unwritten rule, perhaps -- to publish the contents of private messages, and on another board no less.

 

 

perhaps, i'm making too much of this. but i'd rather not have private messages shared.

yer thoughts?

 

jw

 

 

I think it's kinda crappy, but you can't really trust some on here......

 

Also, what are you doing going to other discussion sites? I thought we had exclusive rights?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it's kinda crappy, but you can't really trust some on here......

 

Also, what are you doing going to other discussion sites? I thought we had exclusive rights?

i get around. 0:)

 

i'll also not name the poster. the intention i had in starting this thread is not to call or rat someone out -- i've never put a poster on ignore or reported a questionable post (other than those in which copyrighted information was used in a post without credit).

instead, i considered it a good time to open a discussion and perhaps have it serve as a reminder for everyone here who exchange private messages that, perhaps, it's good form to keep them private.

 

jw

Edited by john wawrow
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Private messages should always stay private, however there are a few common sense exceptions in which you might NOT want to keep something private anymore.

 

  • Offensive
  • Threatening
  • Illegal

Then whats the point of private messaging at all? Especially with Wawrow?

 

In all seriousness, let a moderator know - we need to police ourselves people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i get around. 0:)

 

i'll also not name the poster. the intention i had in starting this thread is not to call or rat someone out -- i've never put a poster on ignore or reported a questionable post (other than those in which copyrighted information was used in a post without credit).

instead, i considered it a good time to open a discussion and perhaps have it serve as a reminder for everyone here who exchange private messages that, perhaps, it's good form to keep them private.

 

jw

First of all we all understand why you thought Beerboy would be able to help you with remedy advice for your "itching". Truth be told, he doesn't know much about anything. The reason you went back and forth with him so much is that he obviously

And I could have told you he can't keep a secret.

 

P.S. The bald look really doesn't work for him any better than the "with hair" look does.

Edited by ieatcrayonz
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Folks:

 

as i'm old and altogether unfamiliar with these issues, i've got myself wondering on what proper protocol on message boards are when it comes to private messages.

 

it's come to my atttention that there's a member of this board who has shared the contents of a private message exchange i had with said member about a month ago. it's nothing terrible, and nothing that i wouldn't have shared in a natural exchange on this board.

 

since it's been published, the poster noted that in a response to his private message (which followed a lengthy exchange on TSW that left said poster unsatisfied), i wrote "i really don't have time for this, sorry."

eventually, the poster persisted, at which point i accused him of being "absurd."

i won't share any other part of the private message exchange discussion, since that hasn't been published.

 

my question is since the person reached out to me in a private message, i kinda assumed that the conversation would be kept, you know, private.

and yet, lo and behold, i happened upon another discussion board in which this information was shared.

 

sure, i understand that everything that we write -- whether it's posts on the board or in private messages -- are open to be made public. and yet, it seems to me that it crosses a bit of a line -- an unwritten rule, perhaps -- to publish the contents of private messages, and on another board no less.

 

 

perhaps, i'm making too much of this. but i'd rather not have private messages shared.

yer thoughts?

 

jw

 

KRC and I were discussing this via PM, and he said you should stop being such a wuss...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Private messages are meant to stay private unless both parties agree to let it be made public. If you let the mods know who it is, we can deal with them.

 

 

What happens if it is a mod?

 

Does that go for names and identity? I found the some mods themselves have broken this protocal and released information without consent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Settle down, Eric.

 

Part of the reason I took Exiled in Illinois... It always gave me the option of changing it to 'Eric in Illinois."

 

I really don't care that people know my name... I would have agreed if they would have asked permission. Yet, it was a mod that leaked it from a PM and now you and I are on a first name basis. I think this is great. But please, feel to use it in positive exchanges, not just in contentious ones. I never understood why they leaked it? I must have really bothered them or something and that is the only way they thought they could "best me." I have nothing to hide. You would think mods would know the etiquette??

 

Many people I get PM's from sign their name...

Edited by ExiledInIllinois
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...