Anyone else in recovery?

[Steely Dan]

Have a kid. You won't have time for drinking....or anything else.

 

Seriously....good luck.

 

Yeah, but that should require a wife and then the whole drinking motivation begins again.

[bbb]

Hi my name is mead107 and I love to drink wine . (SORRY, I had to do it )

 

 

My dad was an alcoholic and died of cirrhosis of the liver . He did AA a few times . GE even sent him away to dry out twice , never worked for him . I think that was because he never really wanted to admit that he was that bad about drinking so much .

 

You are going to have to make some big lifestyle changes .If you are going to make it work stay away from the people that you drink with and as most others have said get involved with some other activity.

 

Good luck to you .

 

I may be the exception, although my best friend in AA is exactly the same way, but I had very little lifestyle change. I still hang out with the same friends, do the same things, etc. - I just don't drink..........And, all the friends I hang out with (except my new ones in AA) drink, some very heavily. I told them my deal, we made a joke about if they see me going for a drink, they have to punch me in the face, and it's worked for 14 years. (The joke is getting kind of old now!) It's just not an issue. I hope his friends are as cool as mine are.

 

Concerts, parties, games - you name it. I do it. Now, if your lifestyle is hanging out in crackhouses, that may have to change. And, if you basically live in a bar right now, that should change. You'll be able to go into bars, but not make it your lifestyle. Although, I have a good friend in AA who owns a bar and is with alcohol all day every day, and stays sober.

[bbb]

First off, IMO, is that you're more than ready to quit if you're posting about it here. Take the initiative and keep at it.

 

One suggestion I've had, for friends who smoke only, is to take a jar and put the money you'd normally spend on your vice into it every week. Then after a year spend it on something you want not on something you need. Watching that money accumulate will show you how much money you've wasted and give you a goal to reach for.

 

 

 

He's right, IMO, avoid AA. You're much better off with a program like his wife's because they are there to help not convert.

 

Penn and Teller's BS on twelve step programs;

 

Part one. NSFW

 

Part two

 

Part three

 

AA after one year has a 5% success rate.

 

 

 

 

IMO, you're an alcoholic. JMO

 

Gomper's life is literally at stake here, and I don't think posting youtube videos made by some guys who have never had a drink is very helpful. How would they know anything about what he is going through.

 

I have no idea what AA's success rate is. I suspect poor, if you count every person who ever walked in a door, probably court mandated at that.............But, for those who really want to quit, and do the work, it is quite high.

 

Each year, we have a big book study and start out with about 12-13 guys. And, within that one year, one or two end up drinking. So, out of the guys who are willing to put in the work (the lifestyle change alluded to above is not so much in what you do for fun, but in what goes on in your head - the alcohol is just a symptom of the deeper issues), my expereince is over 85% success. And, even the ones who did drink, they then have stuck with the program and now are sober since that relapse. So, I would call that success that is close to 100%.

[The Dean]

I have no idea what AA's success rate is. I suspect poor, if you count every person who ever walked in a door, probably court mandated at that.............But, for those who really want to quit, and do the work, it is quite high.

 

 

I'd guess you are right, there. AA certainly works for millions of people. The reason I posted alternatives is, it isn't right for everyone, and you rarely hear about anything other than AA. People who are wary of AA, or who have tried it unsuccessfully, should know it isn't the ONLY resource available to them. But if you aren't serious about quitting, and willing to put in the work, no method is likely to be successful.

 

As for hanging around people who drink, when you are trying to quit, I'd say it depends on you, and the friends you hang with.

 

I have a friend who quits drinking during Lent, every year. Doesn't bother me one bit. If we are out, I drink, he doesn't. Who cares? I actually sort of like having a sober person around to talk to...and to drive.

 

He has other friends who lobby him to drink when they are together, though. It is as if they aren't happy if he isn't drinking. I think you have to avoid those kinds of friends if you are trying to quit.

 

I know some people "on the wagon" who are uncomfortable to be around booze, or drinkers. If you are one of them, you probably need to find a new group of friends. It is fine to ask your friends to be comfortable with your abstinence, and to allow you to do your thing. It isn't acceptable to ask your friends to not drink in your company, IMO. A good friend will adjust his/her behavior, when possible, to help you be comfortable, but don't expect them to become abstinent just because you are.

[bbb]

I'd guess you are right, there. AA certainly works for millions of people. The reason I posted alternatives is, it isn't right for everyone, and you rarely hear about anything other than AA. People who are wary of AA, or who have tried it unsuccessfully, should know it isn't the ONLY resource available to them. But if you aren't serious about quitting, and willing to put in the work, no method is likely to be successful.

 

As for hanging around people who drink, when you are trying to quit, I'd say it depends on you, and the friends you hang with.

 

I have a friend who quits drinking during Lent, every year. Doesn't bother me one bit. If we are out, I drink, he doesn't. Who cares? I actually sort of like having a sober person around to talk to...and to drive.

 

He has other friends who lobby him to drink when they are together, though. It is as if they aren't happy if he isn't drinking. I think you have to avoid those kinds of friends if you are trying to quit.

 

I know some people "on the wagon" who are uncomfortable to be around booze, or drinkers. If you are one of them, you probably need to find a new group of friends. It is fine to ask your friends to be comfortable with your abstinence, and to allow you to do your thing. It isn't acceptable to ask your friends to not drink in your company, IMO. A good friend will adjust his/her behavior, when possible, to help you be comfortable, but don't expect them to become abstinent just because you are.

 

Dean - I agree 100% with every word you said.

[DrFishfinder]

Gomper's life is literally at stake here, and I don't think posting youtube videos made by some guys who have never had a drink is very helpful. How would they know anything about what he is going through.

 

I have no idea what AA's success rate is. I suspect poor, if you count every person who ever walked in a door, probably court mandated at that.............But, for those who really want to quit, and do the work, it is quite high.

 

Each year, we have a big book study and start out with about 12-13 guys. And, within that one year, one or two end up drinking. So, out of the guys who are willing to put in the work (the lifestyle change alluded to above is not so much in what you do for fun, but in what goes on in your head - the alcohol is just a symptom of the deeper issues), my expereince is over 85% success. And, even the ones who did drink, they then have stuck with the program and now are sober since that relapse. So, I would call that success that is close to 100%.

Every AA person I ever spoke with, that had at least one year of sobriety and relapsed, said the same 5 words.

 

I

stopped

going

to

meetings.

 

Every single one....young, old, male, female....without exception.

 

The success rate for AA is generally accepted to be about 5%. That's not very good, except for the 5% who have managed to stay sober. I suspect, that like most things in life, a person will get out of AA (or any other addiction related program) what they put into it.

[thebug]

Good luck to you man! You can do it and kudos to the folks with some really good responses to this thread. This is obviously important to the OP and your willingness to help is nice to see.

 

GO BILLS!

[Fezmid]

So, I would call that success that is close to 100%.

You're basing these "statistics" on a sample size of 12-13 people....?

[bbb]

You're basing these "statistics" on a sample size of 12-13 people....?

 

Where the hell am I expounding this into a scientific sample study, saying I have statistics. I said I don't know the statistics. I'm telling you my experience.

[tennesseeboy]

Every few years Alcoholics Anonymous does a survey of its members. In 1992, a random survey of 6,500 A.A. members in both the United States and Canada revealed that 35 percent were sober for more than five years; 34 percent were sober from between one and five years; and 31 percent were sober for less than one year. The average time sobriety of members is more than five years. According to A.A. World services, the survey is designed to provide information to the professional community and the general public as part of its purpose to carry the message of recovery to those who still suffer from alcoholism. For more information about Alcoholics Anonymous, write to A.A. World Services

 

Got that from a Betty Ford website. I always wondered what "success" was. Someone quits for a year sounds like a success to me.

 

I agree with Dean that there are alternatives, but AA generally seems to be a very good option.

[Gordio]

I used to have drinking habits very similar to yours. Never an everyday drinker,never let it interfere with work or family,but still drank way more than what is healthy. If you're like me,you probably handle your alcohol very well and even after 8 or 10 beers,no one can really tell. I always said there was no real reason to quit so I didn't,even tho I knew it wasn't a healthy lifestyle. Then one morning after a night of moderate (6 pack) drinking I started feeling ill. So bad that I went to the ER. My blood pressure was off the charts. Doc gave me blood pressure medication and told me I needed to change my lifestyle. So I did,and that included stopping drinking. It's easy to stop when you have a reason to. Sometimes God just needs to give you a wakeup call. I hope the OP finds his reason to quit.

 

 

Yeah I could respect that. I have often been called a fun drunk, never getting nasty with anybody so I guess my wife has put up with it all these years. She has asked me to quit a couple times but I have always refused. She does not ride me to much as I drank like this before we got married so she definately knew what she was getting into & like I said I never really cause any problems when I am drinking, since I have had my son 5 yrs ago, I could probably count the times on my one hand that have drove while being intoxicated. I am not trying to justify my lifestyle, as if I was honest specially with 2 kids now I would be the first one to say I should tone it down on the drinking, the problem is it is so much fun. You have me pegged perfectly with 8-10 beers noone know I am even drinking. The health is good, just got some extra life insurance on myself & blood tests & everything came out great. Blood pressure was fine. I am probably about 15-20 pnds overweight(I am 6ft about 215) but who isnt at my age(I am 36) which I would probably lose if I stopped drinking. I never go to hard stuff, always stick with the beer. If it ever does come down to a health issue with me, I will try my best to quit if not for me for my kids.

[Just Jack]

Got that from a Betty Ford website. I always wondered what "success" was. Someone quits for a year sounds like a success to me.

Success is one day without a drink.

[Simon]

One of my oldest and closest friends finally admitted he had a problem this winter and let us help him get into a rehab. He did good coming out but then had a relapse.

He was dead within 2 weeks.

Left behind two kids under the age of 12.

Dead. In 2 weeks.

 

Stop fu(king drinking.

[Jim in Anchorage]

Success is one day without a drink.

With me it was more like a hour. Was in a work situation where the 10 AM coffee truck meant crack open a beer. Got a DWI[1994] and that was it for me.

[Chef Jim]

One of my oldest and closest friends finally admitted he had a problem this winter and let us help him get into a rehab. He did good coming out but then had a relapse.

He was dead within 2 weeks.

Left behind two kids under the age of 12.

Dead. In 2 weeks.

 

Stop fu(king drinking.

 

Holy shiit. You know, that's what got me to quit. I was working at a restaurant in Beverly Hills. Drank like a fish every day...EVERY day. Then one day the Chef of one of our sister restaurants passes out at work, three weeks later.....dead. They all said he drank like a fish every day. Scared me straight. But 10 years later I start with this firm and I go off the wagon but relatively controlled. Friday nights the wife and I go out for happy hour sometimes it's two drinks, sometimes four but I know when to say when. Saturdays we cook and drink together sometimes we over do it and sometimes we only have two but either way it's fun and we really enjoy eachother's company . During the week...no desire. Here it is 8:30pm on Monday and it's the farthest thing from my mind. I really feel for people that have to go to meetings and have their sponsor on speed dial. That's gotta suck.

[Lori]

The first step was to recognize there was a problem. The next is to work your way through it. I'm not in your position, so I don't have any specific advice ... but I can tell you to remember that you're not the only one going through this. Here's another one:

Columnist, others know what's being thrown at Texas Rangers' Hamilton

 

You and Cowlishaw both had the guts to discuss this in public. To me, that's a sign of strength, not powerlessness. Use that strength to your advantage, one day at a time.

 

Good luck.

[The Dean]

The first step was to recognize there was a problem. The next is to work your way through it. I'm not in your position, so I don't have any specific advice ... but I can tell you to remember that you're not the only one going through this. Here's another one:

Columnist, others know what's being thrown at Texas Rangers' Hamilton

 

You and Cowlishaw both had the guts to discuss this in public. To me, that's a sign of strength, not powerlessness. Use that strength to your advantage, one day at a time.

 

Good luck.

 

 

Great read, Lori. Thanks.

[JoeFerguson]

Yeah I could respect that. I have often been called a fun drunk, never getting nasty with anybody so I guess my wife has put up with it all these years. She has asked me to quit a couple times but I have always refused. She does not ride me to much as I drank like this before we got married so she definately knew what she was getting into & like I said I never really cause any problems when I am drinking, since I have had my son 5 yrs ago, I could probably count the times on my one hand that have drove while being intoxicated. I am not trying to justify my lifestyle, as if I was honest specially with 2 kids now I would be the first one to say I should tone it down on the drinking, the problem is it is so much fun. You have me pegged perfectly with 8-10 beers noone know I am even drinking. The health is good, just got some extra life insurance on myself & blood tests & everything came out great. Blood pressure was fine. I am probably about 15-20 pnds overweight(I am 6ft about 215) but who isnt at my age(I am 36) which I would probably lose if I stopped drinking. I never go to hard stuff, always stick with the beer. If it ever does come down to a health issue with me, I will try my best to quit if not for me for my kids.

 

What's worse, one shot of whiskey, or 8-10 beers? If you can't just have one beer, I think that means you're an alcoholic.

[BuffaloBill]

I'd guess you are right, there. AA certainly works for millions of people. The reason I posted alternatives is, it isn't right for everyone, and you rarely hear about anything other than AA. People who are wary of AA, or who have tried it unsuccessfully, should know it isn't the ONLY resource available to them. But if you aren't serious about quitting, and willing to put in the work, no method is likely to be successful.

 

As for hanging around people who drink, when you are trying to quit, I'd say it depends on you, and the friends you hang with.

 

I have a friend who quits drinking during Lent, every year. Doesn't bother me one bit. If we are out, I drink, he doesn't. Who cares? I actually sort of like having a sober person around to talk to...and to drive.

 

He has other friends who lobby him to drink when they are together, though. It is as if they aren't happy if he isn't drinking. I think you have to avoid those kinds of friends if you are trying to quit.

 

I know some people "on the wagon" who are uncomfortable to be around booze, or drinkers. If you are one of them, you probably need to find a new group of friends. It is fine to ask your friends to be comfortable with your abstinence, and to allow you to do your thing. It isn't acceptable to ask your friends to not drink in your company, IMO. A good friend will adjust his/her behavior, when possible, to help you be comfortable, but don't expect them to become abstinent just because you are.

 

 

Well said

[Fewell733]

AA dramatically improved the lives of several members of my family over the course of 30 years. I'm personally not into the religious aspect of it, and I'm not sure they were either, but I'll always be appreciative for the work AA does.

 

 

Gordio, I know that when I'm watching a Bills game at a bar I'll drink nervously and before I know it I've had way more than I had planned, though nothing like 12 to 15 beers. I don't know if that is any part of your issue, but perhaps even just alternating beer and water or some other nonalcoholic beverage when watching a game. could make a huge difference in the number you're drinking. Or maybe try loading the fridge with ales or something really heavy where it would be tough to drink more than 5. I guess it may be the difference if you're drinking to drink something, or drinking to try and get drunk. If its the former this might help, if its the latter I doubt it will.