LabattBlue Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 My daughter who will be 11 in a few months wants to know why she can't go places like to the movies or skating with her friends with no parental escort. In this day and age, where you can't trust anyone, I think that 10 is too young to be going off alone. I'd like to hear your past experiences on how you handled this situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Warden Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 My daughter who will be 11 in a few months wants to know why she can't go places like to the movies or skating with her friends with no parental escort. In this day and age, where you can't trust anyone, I think that 10 is too young to be going off alone. I'd like to hear your past experiences on how you handled this situation. 229175[/snapback] Use the KISS principle - NO! It is a dangerous world - except maybe for Smallville Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Navy Chief Navy Pride Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 I still have 2 years before my oldest is 10 but she is starting that crap already! I am not looking forward to it at all. But let me know how it turns out for you and good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 I think 12 was sort of a magic number for us. It seems like a good age to start giving them almost enough rope to hang themselves. At that point I'd take them to the movies, but walk in and watch them go into the theatre and be there when they came out. We're pretty overprotective parents (she's 14 and not allowed boyfriends, unchaperoned dates or to ride in cars w/ teenage drivers) but at the 11-12 age I think they're pretty safe in public places like theatres and skating rinks (although I'd think twice about the pond) if you or an adult you trust is the one getting them there. If it makes a difference, we live pretty rural. And whatever you do, don't rile them w/ inconsistency. The eyes, mouth and body language of a young girl coming into womanhood is among the most fearful things known to man. May the graces of the gods be with you in your upcoming time of need..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rastabillz Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 No Simon you are not over protective, just being a sensible parent. Our oldest child, is also a girl (8 yrs old) and I can already see the day coming when my wife and I will have to contend with these issues. I've already told my daughter I am prepared for her to hate me until she is an adult. At 8 she already is agitating to wear makeup and clothes I do not find acceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Every situation is different. Not to scare anyone, but they recently caught an 18 year old guy here who'd raped 6 or 7 teenage girls. He picked everyone of them up walking around alone at the mall. Sick friggin' world. Take you daughters to jujitsu lessons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 fwiw, i have a 14 and 13 year old boys and i still haven't let them go out on thier own, over christmas, i did let them walk around the mall together, while i was in the mall. mainly because my wife is dead set against letting them out alone, but i would let them go to the movies etc... My daughter who will be 11 in a few months wants to know why she can't go places like to the movies or skating with her friends with no parental escort. In this day and age, where you can't trust anyone, I think that 10 is too young to be going off alone. I'd like to hear your past experiences on how you handled this situation. 229175[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RVJ Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Be carefful of the traps. My eleven year old daughter wanted to go with 14 kids to the movies. I said only if one of the parents were there to watch over the kids. Especially in and out of bathrooms. She said one of the kids parents were going to be there. When I got there...the kids were all there but no parent. She begged to let her stay. I felt the pressure and caved in. But next time I will ask to speak to the parent on the phone before I say yes. As my grandmother always said...its better they cry instead of you crying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 I agree with both Simon and Alaska..... I have a 9 year old daughter and a just turned 13 year old son.... Very protective of both.....and the whole friggen family takes karate lessons........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Let me preface this by saying that I'm not a parent, which means that everyone will probably just dismiss my entire post. But since I'm working on a Saturday night and have nothing better to do than wait for my damn servers to finish patching, I'll tell you anyway Personally, I think parents are way too overprotective. The reason I always hear is, "The world isn't as safe a place as it was when I was a kid." Well you know what, that's a load of hooey. EVERY generation says "things were better back in the day." Hell, I STILL hear people complain about cars, saying that that cars nowadays are made like junk. Excuse me? They're actually much more reliable today than they were 20-30 years ago. But I digress. I was struck by an episode of "All in the Family" I saw a few weeks ago. Michael and Gloria were talking about having kids and Michael goes off on her saying, (paraphrasing) "No way, this world is not a safe place to bring kids into! There's polution, wars, kidnapping, etc, we're not bringing kids into this world!" Sound familar? Personally, I think a lot of the crap you see on TV and read in the papers has been going on forever, but you just never heard about it. With the power of internet, you can read about stuff that you NEVER would've seen before. You think the article about the girls who were sued (and lost) because they tried giving cookies to their neighbor would've made the nightly news? Doubtful. So you hear all this crap and assume things are getting worse. I disagree. How many kids are there in this country? 80,000,000? More? But you hear a few stories in a year and you want to wrap them in bubble-wrap? I'd have no problem sending my 11-12 to the mall or a movie or something for a few hours with her friends. I'd drop her off at the mall and she better be ready to be picked up at a specific time or she'd be grounded for awhile. But kids need to learn independence and not be coddled their entire lives. That's how they become adults. Ok, off my (childlress) soapbox. CW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarthur31 Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 My daughter who will be 11 in a few months wants to know why she can't go places like to the movies or skating with her friends with no parental escort. In this day and age, where you can't trust anyone, I think that 10 is too young to be going off alone. I'd like to hear your past experiences on how you handled this situation. 229175[/snapback] Let her go! Just make sure there is at least 1 adult present as a chaperone (preferably a parent or someone else you trust)! That was easy. Next question....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zona Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 My son just turned 13, and my daughter will be 12 in May, and I still dont let them go ALONE to places like the Mall or movies. They can go places together, like the neighborhood park or a friends house. Now, my kids are a little sheltered and i acknowledge being overprotective, but I feel its my duty to be that way. They can hate me all they want to when they are 16, as long as I can get them to 17 as safely as I can. My daughter does not have any piercings (including her ears). She does not wear make-up. She does not wear any clothing we do not approve of. I am lucky though, in that, she doen't like her belly hanging out. So hopefully she wont dress in the latest style. There will be plenty of time for her to be a "woman", right now, and for as long as I can help it, she IS a little girl... BTW- Both my kids have taken Jujitsu and Karate. They studied with a former student of Hoyce Gracie (SIC). They know the basics of self defense, and my wife and I have told them to fight for thier life if ever assaulted, because it probably will be. And on a side note, we have several friends here in Phx whose kids are slightly older and finishing high school. Every one of these friends tells us their HS. stories from their kids. For example. At some schools the GIRLS are having competitions to see who can give the most Oral to the most guys in a school year. (I have heard this from 3 different couples that dont know each other, with kids in seperate schools, so I believe it) Girls as young as frosh and soph as well. The kids consider Oral as "second base". That BTW is 13-15 age group. And that scares the hell out of me. Yeah, i dont mind being an overprotective jerk. She can hate me all she wants to, but i will try and keep her from this kind of behavior as long as I can.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in San Diego Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Let me preface this by saying that I'm not a parent, which means that everyone will probably just dismiss my entire post. But since I'm working on a Saturday night and have nothing better to do than wait for my damn servers to finish patching, I'll tell you anyway Personally, I think parents are way too overprotective. The reason I always hear is, "The world isn't as safe a place as it was when I was a kid." Well you know what, that's a load of hooey. EVERY generation says "things were better back in the day." Hell, I STILL hear people complain about cars, saying that that cars nowadays are made like junk. Excuse me? They're actually much more reliable today than they were 20-30 years ago. But I digress. I was struck by an episode of "All in the Family" I saw a few weeks ago. Michael and Gloria were talking about having kids and Michael goes off on her saying, (paraphrasing) "No way, this world is not a safe place to bring kids into! There's polution, wars, kidnapping, etc, we're not bringing kids into this world!" Sound familar? Personally, I think a lot of the crap you see on TV and read in the papers has been going on forever, but you just never heard about it. With the power of internet, you can read about stuff that you NEVER would've seen before. You think the article about the girls who were sued (and lost) because they tried giving cookies to their neighbor would've made the nightly news? Doubtful. So you hear all this crap and assume things are getting worse. I disagree. How many kids are there in this country? 80,000,000? More? But you hear a few stories in a year and you want to wrap them in bubble-wrap? I'd have no problem sending my 11-12 to the mall or a movie or something for a few hours with her friends. I'd drop her off at the mall and she better be ready to be picked up at a specific time or she'd be grounded for awhile. But kids need to learn independence and not be coddled their entire lives. That's how they become adults. Ok, off my (childlress) soapbox. CW 229565[/snapback] Your right ! Until you have your own kids, dont dispense child rearing advice. Until you are a parent yourself, you havn't got a friggin clue about the emotions, fears, joys and stresses of being a parent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in San Diego Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 My daughter is 12 years old and very responsible for her age. I still wont let her go the mall or movies alone. She has to be with her friends, with a cell phone, and a specific agenda to stick to. I drop her off and pick her up at designated times. But my daughter is cautious, wise beyond her years and very trust worthy. So you really have to go by your gut instinct on what is right or wrong for your child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cåblelady Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Until you are a parent yourself, you havn't got a friggin clue about the emotions, fears, joys and stresses of being a parent. 229626[/snapback] All those emotions will be in full gear on 2/27 when my son turns 16.....and I get to teach him how to drive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Your right ! Until you have your own kids, dont dispense child rearing advice. Until you are a parent yourself, you havn't got a friggin clue about the emotions, fears, joys and stresses of being a parent. .... My daughter is 12 years old and very responsible for her age. I still wont let her go the mall or movies alone. She has to be with her friends, with a cell phone, and a specific agenda to stick to. I drop her off and pick her up at designated times. But my daughter is cautious, wise beyond her years and very trust worthy. So you really have to go by your gut instinct on what is right or wrong for your child. 229627[/snapback] And yet you said pretty much the same thing as I did..... Drop 'em off and pick 'em up at specific times. Besides, decisions should be made with logic, not emotions, fears, joys and stresses. That's why I think a non-parents perspective is a useful one - we're more level-headed. CW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LabattBlue Posted February 6, 2005 Author Share Posted February 6, 2005 Thanks to all for the advice. My instincts tell me that this is not up for discussion again until at least the age of 12 and even then I may still ask for at least one parent to be with my daughter and her friends. PS On a side note...She asks constantly for IM and I keep saying no. If she wants to talk with her friends, pick up the phone. I know nothing about IM as I think it is completely useless. Is there a way to set a filter on it, so you can only send/receive messages from certain people? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDH Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Your right ! Until you have your own kids, dont dispense child rearing advice. Until you are a parent yourself, you havn't got a friggin clue about the emotions, fears, joys and stresses of being a parent. 229626[/snapback] Oh stfu...I have a son and agree with him completely. How about looking at the content of his post instead of the "I don't have a child" part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffalomike Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 jesus let the kid live a little. IM should be a parents dream if you have cable or dsl. Your daughter wont be on the phone all the time tying it up. Yes you can set filters so only her friends can IM her but who else is going to anyways. Damn I could be home alone when I was 12/13. You have to earn the trust of your parents and the only way to do that is to let them live a little and give them enough rope to hang themselves. and one more thing... what town was that "oral" contest in? Thanks to all for the advice. My instincts tell me that this is not up for discussion again until at least the age of 12 and even then I may still ask for at least one parent to be with my daughter and her friends.PS On a side note...She asks constantly for IM and I keep saying no. If she wants to talk with her friends, pick up the phone. I know nothing about IM as I think it is completely useless. Is there a way to set a filter on it, so you can only send/receive messages from certain people? 229865[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockpile Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 All those emotions will be in full gear on 2/27 when my son turns 16.....and I get to teach him how to drive. 229648[/snapback] I taught all 4 kids to drive. You notice I have no hair. ALL of my kids had to have an adult around way into their teens. In some cases, that just meant having a parent in the theatre, at the concert hall, at the mall, it all depended on WHO the kids were and what the event was. On the PLUS side I would not have seen Weezer or Goldfinger if I had not taken Nikki to the shows. I also ALWAYS talked to the other parents to confirm plans, made sure I had a phone number for sleep overs, and when the girls started dating, the guy ALWAYS came to the door, no pulling in the driveway and honking the horn. Now that the youngest is in college, I talk to her about STDs, date rape drugs... hell she asks ME questions sometimes because she knows I will always tell her the truth. None of the 4 kids have ever been arrested, 2 of 4 have tried drugs, all have done things that make you gray but they have been better than I was at their age!! Back to the question from LabattBlue: My daughter who will be 11 in a few months wants to know why she can't go places like to the movies or skating with her friends with no parental escort. In this day and age, where you can't trust anyone, I think that 10 is too young to be going off alone. I'd like to hear your past experiences on how you handled this situation. NO WAY does she go alone without a parent around. She may hate you now, but one day she will understand. Fezmid, PLEASE check back on your opinions about this when you have kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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