Logic

I would not get ANYONE'S autograph, because I'm an adult. I think it's cool to meet athletes and celebrities. To shake their hand, have a quick chat with them, thank them for their work, whatever. But...their signature on a piece of paper? Does nothing for me. What am I even supposed to do with it? Put it on a shelf? Walk by it and look at it admiringly and say "Burt Reynolds actually wrote on this. That's his actual hand writing!" ? To each their own. If autographs make people happy, then God bless 'em. I'm team "let people like things". But for me personally... I just don't get the appeal.

The comment that Bills fans are "sleeping on" 7th year receiver Mack Hollins -- whose career high in single season receiving yards was 690 but who has had 250 yards or less in every other season of his career -- is kind of this debate in a nutshell. There's objective reality: Mack Hollins has been a very average, replacement level receiver his whole career, and has exceeded 300 yards in a season just once. Then there's hopium: Y'all are sleeping on him! Watch what he does with a real QB! It's the same with Hamler, with Claypool, Cephus, etc, etc. After two straight years of "we need to get Josh more weapons", the Bills have gotten WORSE at WR. It's telling that any time someone wants to argue that the Bills offense is in good shape personnel wise, they immediately start talking about tight ends and running backs. Why? Because the wide receiver room isn't good enough. The strategy at WR beyond "hope Coleman gets up to speed quickly", "hope Shakir breaks out", "Hope Curtis Samuel posts a career high in receiving yards" -- you'll notice the common denominator with the top three receivers is "hope", already not a promising start -- seems to be "hope that one of the average JAGs we sign exceeds expectations and suddenly plays good football". There again, a big dose of "let's hope". Hope is not a strategy. And all of this is even assuming that the top three guys stay healthy. If Coleman or Samuel suffers any kind of long term injury, God help us. Hope you're ready to see Mack Hollins or Quintez Cephus be our WR2 in a pivotal divisional matchup. Look...some of the most consistently optimistic, kool-aid drinking members on this forum -- myself included -- feel super down about the WR room right now. Why do you think that is? Did we all suddenly turn into negative Nellie curmudgeons over night? Or could it be that we're reading the tea leaves and recognizing that our front. office seems to be in Groundhog Day mode, YET AGAIN failing to give our franchise QB adequate help?

@BADOLBILZ I can send probably like $36 or so to One Bills Drive for Beane to put towards signing a legitimate receiver. Might you consider matching my donation? Or like...can YOU play receiver? Do you KNOW anyone that can play receiver? I've heard we're pivoting to big guys who are a load in the run game, so...Is your refrigerator fast when it's running? This is getting dire. We signed QUINTEZ CEPHUS. I had to look that up to make sure it was a real human person. Then we signed a receiver from Canada. CANADA, Badol. I feel like I'm being pranked and the reveal just hasn't happened yet.

What's weird to me is that the Chiefs continue to roll out turbo-boosted smurfs at WR, and yet they somehow continue to produce at a high level in the playoffs. They doubled down on the strategy this offseason, signing Hollywood Brown and drafting Xavier Worthy. Why is it that all they have to do is press our guys and play really physical with them, and it makes us change our whole team philosophy at WR, but we -- with our defense-minded head coach and frequent top five regular season defensive rankings -- somehow haven't figured out after four years of playoff battles how to slow THEIR small fast guys down?

1. Get bigger and slower at WR 2. Take the ball out of Josh Allen's hands more Perfect offseason so far.

OBJ off the board now, too. Beane emphatically stating that no trade for a WR is forthcoming. Bills further adding to their depth chart with Quintez Cephus and Chase Claypool. With each passing day, Mack Hollins grows closer to the starting lineup. Do margaritas still taste good if you put four shots in them? I'm gonna try it.

That's kind of the problem in a nutshell. You ran out of receivers to list after the first three, and had to start bringing up tight ends and running backs. Unfortunately, good NFL offenses require more than three capable receivers -- if for no other reason than depth in case of injury -- and the Bills currently don't have any. They're throwing a bunch of a vet minimum and special teams guys at the wall to see what sticks, hence my camp battle comments. I disagree that "we fine". I think we lack any capable receivers past the first three you listed (one of whom is a rookie and hasn't even proven to be capable yet), and Beane's strategy for solving that issue is to scrape the bottom of the barrel and to cross fingers and hope. But as I've said before: Hope is not a strategy.

Obviously correlation does not equal causation, but...

It's really a $3M deal. And yes, I would've done that. Ah well. Cephus/Hamler/Claypool/Shaver/Shorter camp battle, here we come!

Fair. Now if only there had been a way to find some cheap WR labor with actual talent and upside...Some kind of way where the Bills could have, say, 11 opportunities to add cost-controlled players, and could use two or three of those opportunities to add receivers. If only.

"Alright, my friend. Lesson 1: When the ongoing problem with your team is that its star quarterback isn't surrounded with enough offensive talent, the best way to attack the problem is to sign a bunch of veteran minimum guys and hope one breaks out!"

That's one way to describe what the Bills are doing, sure...

DJ Chark signs with the Chargers. Tyler Boyd signs with a team that already employs Calvin Ridley and DeAndre Hopkins. Odell Beckham Jr signs with a team that already employs Tyreek Hill, Jaylen Waddle, Braxton Berrios, and just drafted Malik Washington. The Bills sign...Chase Claypool and Quintez Cephus. I'm sure I'll get a few thumbs down and eyeroll emojis for pointing out the wildly uninspiring way in which the Bills are approaching the wide receiver position. Whatever. Pour me a ***** shot.

If the Bills plan on being a "run heavy" team going forward, I'm moving to Australia and following rugby instead. It's two-thousand-twenty-four and the Buffalo Bills employ Joshua Patrick Allen at quarterback. RUN HEAVY?!