It's 2032 and I retired in 2027. I am the GOAT of all time and the leagues golden boy, I should've been enshrined the year I retired at the latest, if not after I won my 10th Super Bowl.
I'd like to thank Bob Kraft for pumping 10's of millions of dollars into my "business".
I'd also like to thank Mark McNally for keeping the correct pressure in my balls, I couldn't do it without your helping hands.
Finally I'd like to thank all of my coaches and bluetooth for keeping me informed of what the defense looks like just before the ball is snapped.