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Colonscopy Tomorrow, What A Pain In The Ass!!


Steely Dan

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Gotta get a colonoscopy tomorrow morning. :doh: I start prepping around 6pm yrs old. I've had one before so I know what to expect but if you haven't had one, and you eventuallydefinately should, it's no picnic pretty sweet.

 

The last time I had one approx. 10 years ago they anesthetized me with Midazolam which doesn't knock you out but makes it so you don't remember a damn thing! Then they shove a camera up your sphincter and wind it along looking for anything out of the ordinary. It's a good thing medical science has progressed as it has because back in the day the cameras weren't so small feeling.

 

What drives someone in medical school to say; "You know what. I think my specialty will be pushing things up peoples asses! ? I get the whole gynecology thing but proctologist? <_<

 

I also don't get the podiatrists. Why would anyone want to look at peoples smelly feet all day?

 

My night is gonna be extremely :wallbash: ty. anxious, like Christmas eve!

 

fixed it for ya

 

"....million to one, doc, million to one."

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I just know that the endoscopy was brutal!!!

 

No sedation?

 

Well, that's possible back then. Kids bit the bullet. No choice.

 

I had a bone marrow spike pounded into my hip when I was a kid. A quack that taped together tongue depressors to pry open my mouth to jamb his fingers down my throat to feel my adenoids. That SOB told the nurse to go in for a feel, too. They and tonsils were yanked out. Teeth drilled, filled and some extracted. A phenol/iodine solution painted on my nuts and crotch to chemically burn away a ringworm infection. A bashed, dead fingernail pulled out with pliers - slowly. That guy's nurse put a board across my hand and pushed hard on it so I wouldn't jerk away. The bruises were colorful.

 

Any anesthetics? Pain pills? Pfft.

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No sedation?

 

Well, That's possible back then. Kids bit the bullet. No choice.

 

I had a bone marrow spike pounded into my hip when I was a kid. A quack that taped together tongue depressors to pry open my mouth to jamb his fingers down my throat to feel my adenoids. That SOB told the nurse to go in for a feel, too. They and tonsils were yanked out. Teeth drilled, filled and some extracted. A phenol/iodine solution painted on my nuts and crotch to chemically burn away a ringworm infection. A bashed, dead fingernail pulled out with pliers - slowly. That guy's nurse put a board across my hand and pushed hard on it so I wouldn't jerk away. The bruises were colorful.

 

Any anesthetics? Pain pills? Pfft.

so this confirms you grew up during the civil war.

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:lol:

 

 

fixed it for ya

 

"....million to one, doc, million to one."

 

Jackass!!

 

 

I'd rather have ten colonoscopies than have to endure a urinary catheterization again.

 

:wallbash:<_<

 

I know people who've had them and it's something I never, ever, ever want to endure. :doh::lol:

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You're welcome. I posted also for anyone else out there that faces (rears?) the fearful pipe. :wallbash:

 

BTW - have the friend that is transporting your recovered self take you to a breakfast joint for a heaping plate of pancakes. Soothing to the violated tissue, pleasurable to eat. Pound 'em down.

 

I suppose you might drool a bit because you will still be buzzed, but drooling and pancake consumption isn't out of the ordinary. Nobody will notice. Put it in your mind that it's really 4 AM and and there is unusually early sunrise today.

 

You'll do alright with this.

You might wanna wait until you've expelled most of the air they pump you up with - people will look at you funny if you're in public when that happens.

 

Voice of experience. Word.

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I don't know? This is for a specific problem to look into.

Ok I assumed it was for a routine checkup. My father in law just got out of the hospital and they did one of these on him. He went in because he had diarrhea for several days before. He was dehydrated and had low potassium. They found nothing. He's out now but they are still not sure what the deal is with him. At least they didn't find anything in his colon. Again, good luck. Hope there is no problems.

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Ok I assumed it was for a routine checkup. My father in law just got out of the hospital and they did one of these on him. He went in because he had diarrhea for several days before. He was dehydrated and had low potassium. They found nothing. He's out now but they are still not sure what the deal is with him. At least they didn't find anything in his colon. Again, good luck. Hope there is no problems.

 

Moo-Chose-Grassy-Ass! :wallbash:

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Steely, based on my experiences (many years ago, and recent) a colonoscopy is now a breeze. It's the prep that kind of sucks. As you note, you don't feel a thing. In my case, I was totally out for the procedure. I made sure to schedule an early appt, and didn't sleep most of the night, so the twilight knocked me right out. My advice is, go in very tired.

 

Years ago i had a sigmoidoscopy, and THAT sucked. No anesthesia whatsoever.

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You might wanna wait until you've expelled most of the air they pump you up with - people will look at you funny if you're in public when that happens.

 

Voice of experience. Word.

Oh.

 

I never had that air thing done. Why wouldn't the evil man doing the procedure just stick his finger in and vent you in the confines of the room? Does the pressurized air get adsorbed onto the villi? :wallbash:

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Oh.

 

I never had that air thing done. Why wouldn't the evil man doing the procedure just stick his finger in and vent you in the confines of the room? Does the pressurized air get adsorbed by the villi? :wallbash:

 

 

When I had my sigmoidoscopy, they gave me instructions. They explained they would be pumping air into your ass, so the camera could move through. Then the instructions said something to the effect of, "If you feel the need to expel some gas, you may unless the doctor asks you not to."

 

<_<

 

I was imagining the doctor, with a camera up my ass, yelling "How DARE you fart on me!" and then ramming it in further.

 

I took the afternoon off, to spare my coworkers, and drink at Founding Fathers.

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