The OFFICIAL American Idol 2006 Thread

[bobblehead]

Are you f-ing serious? Queen night?

 

 

Is Ace going to wear a spiked leather strap on his arm? I'm surprised he hasn't already.

 

It's a shame that Kevin is gone, cuz I would totally peg him as the guy that would drill sailors in the dressing room after the show. (rock myth alert)

 

Queen night has the potential of putting Mandisa in quite an embarassing situation, If you catch my drift.

 

Also, I noticed that Ryan has been giving Pickler zero face time after the performance the last couple of weeks. Must be the dumbass bit got old on him real quick.

[Rico]

Queen night has the potential of putting Mandisa in quite an embarassing situation, If you catch my drift.

652809[/snapback]

Are you talking about the homophobe rumors

or her singing "Fat-Bottomed Girls"?

[bobblehead]

or her singing "Fat-Bottomed Girls"?

652869[/snapback]

 

 

I was expecting Mrs. T to sing that, actually.

[slothrop]

Where is Coli's summary! I have forwarded his posts to people at work and I have about ten e-mails asking where it is.

[inkman]

Ace's falsetto isn't going anywhere until the week after Queen night.

and Bucky & Pickler are safe after Country night.

Time to make some new faces sweat.

 

Chris won't be bottom 3 yet, & they made Katherine McFunbags sweat last week.

My man Spazz may have been the worst one of all yesterday, just horrible, but I don't think he's bottom 3 this week either... still too funny to leave.

 

That leaves Tootie, Mandisa, and Elliott standing out there tonight.

Tootie because her sorry ass deserves it, Mandisa because she sure didn't look like an Idol last night (i.e. HUGE), and Elliott.

And Snaggletooth Elliott gets sent home.

652796[/snapback]

 

Please no more jeans Mandisa. She looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow woman dipped in chocolate.

[inkman]

Also, I noticed that Ryan has been giving Pickler zero face time after the performance the last couple of weeks.  Must be the dumbass bit got old on him real quick.

652809[/snapback]

 

...or maybe Teri Hatcher is getting jealous. Bravo my man Ryan, Bravo. (I need a smiley with a little scruff on it)

[BuffaloBud]

I personally thought that Kelli was playing for the "guy vote" last night with the way she was dressed.

[inkman]

I personally thought that Kelli was playing for the "guy vote" last night with the way she was dressed.

653201[/snapback]

 

I think Ace plays for the "guy vote" every night.

[Johnny Coli]

Better late than never I suppose….

Please direct any and all hate mail to my boss for making me earn my pay today, and try not to get wet as we jump the shark with this review.

 

Idol followed up last week’s colossally terrible hour of TV by curling out another steamer this week. What did they expect when they caved into corporate interests and killed off The Most Dangerous and Complex Contestant this show has ever had on two weeks ago? Add in the fact that my wife abandoned me and Idol this week for the pop-culture rope-a-dope of The Gilmore Girls, and AI was going to have to really bust out the big guns to get me interested last night.

 

So imagine my horror when the featured country artist turned out to be Kenny Rogers? What!?!?! The Fried Chicken guy?!? The guy who played Brewster Baker in the movie Six Pack?!?!….Spoiler Alert via Wiki….

Stopping in a small Texas town, race car driver Brewster Baker stops at a local diner to eat. He sees someone stealing his parts from his race car. He chases after their van. The van goes into a river. Brewster discovers the victims are just kids. He saves the youngest, who was trapped. Later, he discovers they are orphans. The kids are stealing auto parts for a local corrupt sheriff, who throws Brewster into jail because of speeding and not tipping the waitress at the diner. The kids help get Brewster out of jail. Brewster reluctently takes the kids along and later they form a friendship and bond. The kids become his mechanics because of their great mechanical skills.

As expected, he offered little useful help, and the suggestions that did come out of his mouth were totally ignored by the contestants who were wondering who this homeless man was that smelled like fried chicken.

 

Taylor Hicks:

He’s done. Last week wasn’t an aberration. The Old Shoe Patrol (let that one simmer in your brain for a few minutes, return, and then laugh your ass off at the genius of it) was a one-trick epileptic pony. No jumping around like an idiot means you have to have some other talent, like singing (ahhhh, nope), or looks (ahhhh, nope), or charisma (ahhh, nope).

A horrible, horrible start to the show. (Wife laughing out loud in the other room while watching another show)

 

Mandisa:

If you’re slightly overweight (and who couldn’t stand to lose a few pounds) there is only one thing worse than wearing horizontal stripes on a light-colored blouse…and that’s wearing horizontal zig-zag stripes on a light-colored blouse. The way it clung to her boobs combined with the horizontal pattern and her gyrating around on stage made it look like two giant bulging eyes blinking and threatening to explode out of their sockets. I was reminded of those fat drunk guys who paint faces on their bare torsos and run around in giant hats, only in this case it was one butt-ugly hat with fake eyebrows. She’s probably safe, but I’ll never be the same.

 

Elliot:

Another dull performance, more praise from the judges. What are they hearing that I’m not? Are all the dentists in America watching this show and stabbing at their cell phones keeping him on TV? I never made a dime in the music business after years of rolling around in broken glass, and to think all I had to do was stop brushing my teeth. If I knew then what I know now….

(My wife is laughing at another pop-culture reference in the other room)

 

Paris:

Little miss hair extensions went with a bob this week. She totally nailed her song just to spite me, and I loath her for it. Best line of the night from Simon…. “She reminds me of a young Dionne Warwick!” Silence and scattered golf claps from the teenagers in the AI audience. Uproarious laughter from the jaded viewer watching on a spare TV in the office. He might as well have called her a young Anita O'Day.

 

Ace:

Looks but no talent earns another trip to the bottom three. More worried shrieks from teenage girls and used up, manic-depressive, alcoholic, pill-popping dance choreographers. He did enough pouting to get through another week, though.

 

Pickler:

Another shameless attempt by FOX and AI to rehab the image of one of their contestants. It’s too late, because the bag is already over the head of that cat. Sixty percent of the respondents in an US weekly poll (I read it for the articles) think Pickler is faking it. But that’s not an altogether bad talent to have for where she’s going to end up… “You’re in the bottom three.” Get used to hearing that phrase, La Chica Estúpida.

 

Chris Daughtry:

He sang so soft you could almost hear Bo Bice cackling from beyond the grave. You stayed a week to long, buddy. Welcome to hell.

 

Katherine:

I loved every minute of it. How about you?

 

Bucky:

YESSSS! I was looking forward to this performance for six freaking days (writer’s embellishment). This was theeee night for Bucky Covington! The rest of these hacks didn’t know a damn thing about country music. Bucky’s been painting cars, training in honkey-tonks, drinking unflouridated water, all leading up to this…the moment that he was put on this earth for! What song would he pick?!? What would he wear!?! How much solid ass would he kick!?!?! Like this review, the show has completely sucked up until this moment. But the kid from North Carolina, who may or may not be speaking English, was going to bring the freaking house down!! (Me shouting into the other room: “Bucky’s up next!!!” Wife shouting back from the other room: “Who cares.”)

 

Whoa….Bucky comes out singing a ballad in Cantonese, with a stupid grin on his face. What a total and complete let-down. I sat through that tepid hour of entertainment for absolutely nothing, much like you just did in reading this horrible piece of journalism.

 

So who gets the boot tonight?

Bottom three…Ace, Bucky, and I’ll go out on a limb and say Taylor. Bucky’s gone.

[KRC]

Better late than never I suppose….

Please direct any and all hate mail to my boss for making me earn my pay today, and try not to get wet as we jump the shark with this review.

 

653492[/snapback]

 

Whoa...whoa...Are you going all "corporate" on us here? Are you letting "the man" dictate your actions? For shame...for shame...

[Live&DieBillsFootball]

Better late than never I suppose….

Please direct any and all hate mail to my boss for making me earn my pay today, and try not to get wet as we jump the shark with this review.

 

Idol followed up last week’s colossally terrible hour of TV by curling out another steamer this week.  What did they expect when they caved into corporate interests and killed off The Most Dangerous and Complex Contestant this show has ever had on two weeks ago? Add in the fact that my wife abandoned me and Idol this week for the pop-culture rope-a-dope of The Gilmore Girls, and AI was going to have to really bust out the big guns to get me interested last night.

 

So imagine my horror when the featured country artist turned out to be Kenny Rogers?  What!?!?!  The Fried Chicken guy?!? The guy who played Brewster Baker in the movie Six Pack?!?!….Spoiler Alert via Wiki….

 

As expected, he offered little useful help, and the suggestions that did come out of his mouth were totally ignored by the contestants who were wondering who this homeless man was that smelled like fried chicken.

 

Taylor Hicks:

He’s done.  Last week wasn’t an aberration.  The Old Shoe Patrol (let that one simmer in your brain for a few minutes, return, and then laugh your ass off at the genius of it) was a one-trick epileptic pony.  No jumping around like an idiot means you have to have some other talent, like singing (ahhhh, nope), or looks (ahhhh, nope), or charisma (ahhh, nope).

A horrible, horrible start to the show. (Wife laughing out loud in the other room while watching another show)

 

Mandisa:

If you’re slightly overweight (and who couldn’t stand to lose a few pounds) there is only one thing worse than wearing horizontal stripes on a light-colored blouse…and that’s wearing horizontal zig-zag stripes on a light-colored blouse. The way it clung to her boobs combined with the horizontal pattern and her gyrating around on stage made it look like two giant bulging eyes blinking and threatening to explode out of their sockets.  I was reminded of those fat drunk guys who paint faces on their bare torsos and run around in giant hats, only in this case it was one butt-ugly hat with fake eyebrows.  She’s probably safe, but I’ll never be the same.

 

Elliot:

Another dull performance, more praise from the judges.  What are they hearing that I’m not?  Are all the dentists in America watching this show and stabbing at their cell phones keeping him on TV?  I never made a dime in the music business after years of rolling around in broken glass, and to think all I had to do was stop brushing my teeth.  If I knew then what I know now….

(My wife is laughing at another pop-culture reference in the other room)

 

Paris:

Little miss hair extensions went with a bob this week.  She totally nailed her song just to spite me, and I loath her for it.  Best line of the night from Simon…. “She reminds me of a young Dionne Warwick!”  Silence and scattered golf claps from the teenagers in the AI audience.  Uproarious laughter from the jaded viewer watching on a spare TV in the office.  He might as well have called her a young Anita O'Day.

 

Ace:

Looks but no talent earns another trip to the bottom three.  More worried shrieks from teenage girls and used up, manic-depressive, alcoholic, pill-popping dance choreographers.  He did enough pouting to get through another week, though.

 

Pickler:

Another shameless attempt by FOX and AI to rehab the image of one of their contestants.  It’s too late, because the bag is already over the head of that cat.  Sixty percent of the respondents in an US weekly poll (I read it for the articles) think Pickler is faking it.  But that’s not an altogether bad talent to have for where she’s going to end up… “You’re in the bottom three.”  Get used to hearing that phrase, La Chica Estúpida.

 

Chris Daughtry:

He sang so soft you could almost hear Bo Bice cackling from beyond the grave.  You stayed a week to long, buddy.  Welcome to hell.

 

Katherine:

I loved every minute of it.  How about you?

 

Bucky:

YESSSS!  I was looking forward to this performance for six freaking days (writer’s embellishment).  This was theeee night for Bucky Covington!  The rest of these hacks didn’t know a damn thing about country music.  Bucky’s been painting cars, training in honkey-tonks, drinking unflouridated water, all leading up to this…the moment that he was put on this earth for!  What song would he pick?!?  What would he wear!?!  How much solid ass would he kick!?!?!  Like this review, the show has completely sucked up until this moment.  But the kid from North Carolina, who may or may not be speaking English, was going to bring the freaking house down!! (Me shouting into the other room: “Bucky’s up next!!!”  Wife shouting back from the other room:  “Who cares.”) 

 

Whoa….Bucky comes out singing a ballad in Cantonese, with a stupid grin on his face.  What a total and complete let-down.  I sat through that tepid hour of entertainment for absolutely nothing, much like you just did in reading this horrible piece of journalism.

 

So who gets the boot tonight?

Bottom three…Ace, Bucky, and I’ll go out on a limb and say Taylor.  Bucky’s gone.

653492[/snapback]

 

Thanks Johnny, I've been waiting for your review. Last night was one of the crappiest episodes ever. The only real info that I came away with was that Barry Manilow has a much better plastic surgeon than Kenny Rogers.

[GoodBye]

Better late than never I suppose….

Please direct any and all hate mail to my boss for making me earn my pay today, and try not to get wet as we jump the shark with this review.

 

Idol followed up last week’s colossally terrible hour of TV by curling out another steamer this week.  What did they expect when they caved into corporate interests and killed off The Most Dangerous and Complex Contestant this show has ever had on two weeks ago? Add in the fact that my wife abandoned me and Idol this week for the pop-culture rope-a-dope of The Gilmore Girls, and AI was going to have to really bust out the big guns to get me interested last night.

 

653492[/snapback]

Yeah, if this show doesn't get any better I may go back to watching The Gilmore Girls. I've been neglecting it to watch AI.

Keep up the the reviews. They are fun to read!

[LabattBlue]

I sat through that tepid hour of entertainment for absolutely nothing, much like you just did in reading this horrible piece of journalism.

 

653492[/snapback]

You underestimate yourself. Entertaining as always!

[JimBob2232]

So who gets the boot tonight?

Bottom three…Ace, Bucky, and I’ll go out on a limb and say Taylor.  Bucky’s gone.

 

Wrong, Wrong and um...Wrong.

 

I cant believe Paris is still on this show. She has to go tonight. I dont see Elliot leaving and Mandisa has been decent. My pick of tonights bottom 3...Paris

[cåblelady]

Mandisa

653627[/snapback]

I'm really surprised.

[DevilsAlum]

I am I bad person for being thankful that I don't have to look at Mandisa's oversized posterior anymore?

[ajzepp]

I'm really surprised. 

653667[/snapback]

 

Me too....DAMN YOU, RYAN SEACREST!!!! IF YOU'D HAVE NEVER EXPOSED MANDISA'S CANKLES AND NASTY TOES SHE'D STILL BE ON THE SHOW!!!

 

How the HELL does Bucky not hit the bottom three?????

[GoodBye]

Me too....DAMN YOU, RYAN SEACREST!!!!  IF YOU'D HAVE NEVER EXPOSED MANDISA'S CANKLES AND NASTY TOES SHE'D STILL BE ON THE SHOW!!! 

 

How the HELL does Bucky not hit the bottom three?????

653718[/snapback]

I dunno, but I don't think I can watch another week of Bucky!! I'm going to get sick. I'm also a little surprised that Mandisa is gone.

[Mark Vader]

Again, I got 2 out of 3 and again, I was wrong on the elimination.

 

I certainly did not think Mandisa would get eliminated before Ace & Bucky.

 

It looked like Katharine was going to McPhaint again. She looked terrified. Hey, can you blame her? She was in the same group as Ace & Bucky. However all is right this time and she was not in the bottom 3.

 

My current standings:

 

1.Katharine

2.Chris

3.Kellie

4.Taylor

5.Paris

6.Ace

7.Elliott

8.Bucky

 

Queen next week. How is this going to work?

[Live&DieBillsFootball]

Again, I got 2 out of 3 and again, I was wrong on the elimination.

 

I certainly did not think Mandisa would get eliminated before Ace & Bucky.

 

It looked like Katharine was going to McPhaint again. She looked terrified. Hey, can you blame her? She was in the same group as Ace & Bucky. However all is right this time and she was not in the bottom 3.

 

My current standings:

 

1.Katharine

2.Chris

3.Kellie

4.Taylor

5.Paris

6.Ace

7.Elliott

8.Bucky

 

Queen next week. How is this going to work?

653758[/snapback]

 

Does Queen even have enough songs for this group to butcher next week? What the hell are Kellie or Bucky going to sing? It is going to be painful to watch.