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URGENT Medical Advice needed


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i am posting this from the woods- i just got a short moment of internet connectivity with my sat modem

 

one of my fellow deep woods hikers was bitten by a poisonous snake

 

his leg is now covered in green pus-ey welts and his eyes are red rimmed

 

we are 70 or so miles from the nearest civilization

 

can someone tell me what i should do

 

here are the materials i have at my disposal

 

nylon fabric

aluminum cooking utensils

knives

corkscrew

bent fork

flora in adirondack mountains

stream water

altoids

dessenex

misc clothing

ipod

30 ft of rope

thank you in advance- my signal is fading but any help could save a life- i will check back soon

395400[/snapback]

Eat them while they are still fresh

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Wow, that is from DEEP left field. Got some thing that have been on your mind lately?

395443[/snapback]

Based on an old joke:

 

One day the Lone Ranger was out in the woods taking a pee, when suddenly a rattlesnake came out of the bushes and bit him on his dick. He gave a loud yell, and Tonto came running to his side.

 

"What has happened Kimo Sabi?"

 

"A snake bit me on my dick Tonto, your gonna have to go find a doctor and ask what to do."

 

Tonto left his friend to find help. Soon he came upon a town, and found the local doctor.

 

"Help! Kimo Sabi has been bitten by a rattlesnake! What should I do?"

 

The doctor replied: "Well, you will have to suck the poison from the wound, then bandage it up."

 

"Thank you doctor!" Tonto replied while running back out the door. He ran for a while until he found the Lone Ranger lying on the ground.

 

"Well, what did he say Tonto?" asked the ranger.

 

Tonto again looked at the wound, and then looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "He said your gonna die Kimo Sabi!"

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Wouldn't your limited online time in this emergancy situation be better spent on google or WebMD as opposed to posting this question while getting your Bills Training camp reports..... wait, that was actually a pretty good use of your limited resources. Nice Job!

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take the nylon fabric and wrap it into the aluminum cooking utensils cut it in half with the knives and the stick one end onto the corkscrew. take your bent fork and gather some of the flora in adirondack mountains and then dip it into the stream water. crush some of the altoids and mix it with the dessenex. stick the cooking utensils into his mouth and then dip your misc clothing into the altiod/dessenex mixture. have him hold open the would with the flora/fork and them lay the clothing onto it. take the ipod and 30 ft of rope and secure the clothing to the wound.

 

simple as that. give him a few days to heal and then you'll be back onto your journey.

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new to the boards

Benjamin Franklin Posted on: May 3 2005, 05:17 PM

 

 

Rookie

 

 

Group: Members

Posts: 152

Joined: 9-April 04

Member No.: 4,419

 

 

For the most part, THIS is a great thread. It's what this board is all about. Welcome to the board and many happy returns. Feel free to post any question you have on the main board- on any topic... relationships, medical advice, whatever- there is a lot of expertience on here who can help you out when you need it.

Forum: The Stadium Wall Archive · Post Preview: #327363 · Replies: 74 · Views: 1,314

 

 

 

This is from a previous post by Benjamin Franklin. He has apparently decided to put his theory to the test. I hope his friend survives...

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i am posting this from the woods- i just got a short moment of internet connectivity with my sat modem

 

one of my fellow deep woods hikers was bitten by a poisonous snake

 

his leg is now covered in green pus-ey welts and his eyes are red rimmed

 

we are 70 or so miles from the nearest civilization

 

can someone tell me what i should do

 

here are the materials i have at my disposal

 

nylon fabric

aluminum cooking utensils

knives

corkscrew

bent fork

flora in adirondack mountains

stream water

altoids

dessenex

misc clothing

ipod

30 ft of rope

thank you in advance- my signal is fading but any help could save a life- i will check back soon

395400[/snapback]

 

No fried pasta or pickle juice? Forget it, you're screwed...

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green pus-ey welts and his eyes are red rimmed

 

395400[/snapback]

 

So you had a run in with Ron Mexico, and hes carrying mace now?

 

And if perchance this is a real emergency, and you spent your only connectivity on TBD asking for help, then this is a blessing...its called natural selection...

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Please people, when asking for life saving medical advice on TBD, use the friggin Off Topic icon.

 

RTB

395467[/snapback]

 

ROFLMAO

 

God I hope this was a joke, or we will feel bad.

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So you had a run in with Ron Mexico, and hes carrying mace now?

 

And if perchance this is a real emergency, and you spent your only connectivity on TBD asking for help, then this is a blessing...its called natural selection...

395526[/snapback]

 

 

Umm, except the poster ins't the one who was bitten... :doh:

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