Joe Miner Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 My very existence disproves what you wrote, which is my favorite way of disproving things. I exist, therefore, you are wrong. And, if you actually understood what I wrote above, you'd know that NONE of it hypothetical. I also said: the politics and power is the challenging part, but that any consultant PM, merely operating "as expected", knows how to deal with that aspect. Enterprise Consulting means: you will be dealing with large groups, led by powerful people that hate or envy each other, and have good reason to fear each other. I've only ever done this kind of work. For you to be right, I have to un-know what I know. Perhaps you still don't get it? The system I've described is the opposite of "consolidation". In fact, decentralization is it's chief premise. So, I don't know why you keep talking in terms of consolidation, because that's not what I am talking about. I am talking about giving everybody what appears, acts and operates in every way as: a custom system. Couldn't find a mirror so you went with viagra huh? Just make sure you get to the doctor when it lasts over 4 hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dayman Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 gib Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Enterprise Consulting means: you will be dealing with large groups, led by powerful people that hate or envy each other, and have good reason to fear each other. I've only ever done this kind of work. For you to be right, I have to un-know what I know. The implication being that an "enterprise consultant" knows much of anything to begin with. Now go right-size a mission-critical paradigm in "The Cloud" or something... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Now go right-size a mission-critical paradigm in "The Cloud" or something... And make sure you re-purpose something so it's a mutually beneficial win-win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 And make sure you re-purpose something so it's a mutually beneficial win-win. a/k/a "And this one time, in band camp..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCinBuffalo Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 gib The implication being that an "enterprise consultant" knows much of anything to begin with. Now go right-size a mission-critical paradigm in "The Cloud" or something... And make sure you re-purpose something so it's a mutually beneficial win-win. a/k/a "And this one time, in band camp..." Finally somebody busts my balls ...and it's actually funny. Laugh all you want, but every single one of you manage the way you do, in part or completely, using methodology we created. You use systems every single day, using architecture we originated, and the best part? All of you know that whatever "new" "businessy thingy" you will be doing..."going forward" ? Like..the one I am working on right this second, at 3am, preparing for ze Germans? Yeah, it will come from us. Even you LA: because one day soon a school system is going to say to you "why can't we order/make requests/whatever from you in the cloud"? The real schit-your-pants is when 3 of them do it, at the same time. And, that is the day you WILL call somebody like me, or it's your ass. We will solve your problem, and subject you to superior attitude, which will piss you off. But, your kids will go to college as a result, so you will live with it. It ain't braggin' if you can do it, and if you aren't cocky, then you don't belong in my job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanker Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Unfortunately, it appears to have been removed from Yousetoob, so with apologies for the TCM frame and clutter, I give you OC: http://www.tcm.com/m...Dr-Weasley.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Even you LA: because one day soon a school system is going to say to you "why can't we order/make requests/whatever from you in the cloud"? The real schit-your-pants is when 3 of them do it, at the same time. And, that is the day you WILL call somebody like me, or it's your ass. We will solve your problem, and subject you to superior attitude, which will piss you off. But, your kids will go to college as a result, so you will live with it. It ain't braggin' if you can do it, and if you aren't cocky, then you don't belong in my job. Uhhh, no. Not me, anyway. My company is built on providing a service to a select list of companies of our choosing. Their projects are too large, too high profile and tied too tightly to liquidation damages to ever make a request or place an order anywhere other than with a human who verifies the request is received, the price is given, the order is placed, and the schedule is in stone. I get what you're saying. It just doesn't pertain to my business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCinBuffalo Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Uhhh, no. Not me, anyway. My company is built on providing a service to a select list of companies of our choosing. Their projects are too large, too high profile and tied too tightly to liquidation damages to ever make a request or place an order anywhere other than with a human who verifies the request is received, the price is given, the order is placed, and the schedule is in stone. I get what you're saying. It just doesn't pertain to my business. Well, then on days like today? I envy you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B-Man Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 RECOVERY SUMMER! Retail Sales Fall . . . wait for it, wait for it . . . Unexpectedly! “Retail sales in the U.S. unexpectedly fell in March by the most in nine months as employment slowed, showing households ended the first quarter on softer footing.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 RECOVERY SUMMER! Retail Sales Fall . . . wait for it, wait for it . . . Unexpectedly! “Retail sales in the U.S. unexpectedly fell in March by the most in nine months as employment slowed, showing households ended the first quarter on softer footing.” Damn you, sequester! Damn you to hell!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCinBuffalo Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Unfortunately, it appears to have been removed from Yousetoob, so with apologies for the TCM frame and clutter, I give you OC: http://www.tcm.com/m...Dr-Weasley.html That is....entirely too tacky for me. Really. "Hey let's put up a pirate flag and, just for good measure, a confederate flag as well? Write MENSA on my jacket?" Please. Elite doesn't require decoration. Starting to understand my objection to scarves? Besides, why would I want anyone to know I was a pirate, rebel, or absolutely coming to pillage them, until it was too late? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Maybe they won't pass a budget and the government will be forced to close......oh wait, then they won't get paid..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Finally somebody busts my balls ...and it's actually funny. Laugh all you want, but every single one of you manage the way you do, in part or completely, using methodology we created. You use systems every single day, using architecture we originated, and the best part? All of you know that whatever "new" "businessy thingy" you will be doing..."going forward" ? Like..the one I am working on right this second, at 3am, preparing for ze Germans? Yeah, it will come from us. Even you LA: because one day soon a school system is going to say to you "why can't we order/make requests/whatever from you in the cloud"? The real schit-your-pants is when 3 of them do it, at the same time. And, that is the day you WILL call somebody like me, or it's your ass. We will solve your problem, and subject you to superior attitude, which will piss you off. But, your kids will go to college as a result, so you will live with it. It ain't braggin' if you can do it, and if you aren't cocky, then you don't belong in my job. Actually, my management methodology comes from Frederick the Great, Helmut von Moltke, and the German General Staff in general. It has ****-all to do with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 While don't you all tell your stories about how these government spending cuts have "devastated" your life? Not me, but this guy is figuring out how to eat for free in DC by crashing panels.... http://panelcrashing.blogspot.com/ Former Hill staffer and K Street nonprofit associate. Future grad student. Recently unemployed sequestration victim with lots of time, little money, and an unhealthy knowledge of DC's think tanks, Hill receptions, and speaker series. They can kick me out of the club, but they cant stop me from crashing their free events, eating their free food, totally ignoring their discussions, and then anonymously making fun of them on the internet. It's basically like Wedding Crashers, minus all the sex and partying...OR IS IT??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCinBuffalo Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Actually, my management methodology comes from Frederick the Great, Helmut von Moltke, and the German General Staff in general. It has ****-all to do with you. Of this, I also have little doubt. Does that mean your approach is to constantly interfere with the affairs of your co-workers, but then rely on your superior skills in the conference room to save you from their wrath? And, whoever runs the project plans and status reports...must be in love with you: since "the plan" is always dying, as soon as the first line of code is written, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCinBuffalo Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Not me, but this guy is figuring out how to eat for free in DC by crashing panels.... http://panelcrashing.blogspot.com/ Funny, I read that 3 times, and each time ended with the same question: Am I supposed to feel bad that there's one less of these guys? I read the latest post, and while it's funny, again, I'm sitting here asking: "we are paying people to have discussions like this, rather tasking them to train displaced workers?" I mean, it's not like I want to have the elderly lady teach powerpoint, but, she could help with public speaking, how to do research, etc., right? The paragraph you quoted could be: "Former giant tool, who was wasting his life f'ing about with 'intellectual' discussions, now stealing food from the employed giant tools, who f about wasting their lives". with 0 change in meaning. Perhaps the guy will look at this as an opportunity to do something actually useful? I mean, look at how he characterizes his own existence: ridiculous and pathetic. Do we really need this? Does he? Frankly, we do the same thing on this board, for free....and we get the same or better results. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 Of this, I also have little doubt. Does that mean your approach is to constantly interfere with the affairs of your co-workers, but then rely on your superior skills in the conference room to save you from their wrath? And, whoever runs the project plans and status reports...must be in love with you: since "the plan" is always dying, as soon as the first line of code is written, right? In other words, you have no idea what I'm talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCinBuffalo Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 (edited) In other words, you have no idea what I'm talking about. Right, those jokes aren't accurate at all. Edit: Frederick the Great didn't start most of the wars he fought in, due to f'ing around with other countries, and have to rely on his military skills to cover his ass. And, Monke baby isn't widely accepted as the coiner of "the battle plan is the first casualty of the battle". You're still having trouble with the fact that you are no longer the only poster who knows history here? Dude...I've been here since 2005. Time to get over it. Edited April 16, 2013 by OCinBuffalo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Right, those jokes aren't accurate at all. Edit: Frederick the Great didn't start most of the wars he fought in, due to f'ing around with other countries, and have to rely on his military skills to cover his ass. And, Monke baby isn't widely accepted as the coiner of "the battle plan is the first casualty of the battle". You're still having trouble with the fact that you are no longer the only poster who knows history here? Dude...I've been here since 2005. Time to get over it. In other words...you still have no idea what I'm talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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