Orton's Arm Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I don't know who the next owner of the Bills will be, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was someone reminiscent of John Elwes. Who was John Elwes, you ask? Elwes was an English politician, born in 1714. He inherited his uncle's fortune, worth about $25 million in today's dollars. ******* On assuming his uncle's fortune, however, Elwes also assumed his uncle's miserly ways. He went to bed when darkness fell so as to save on candles. He began wearing only ragged clothes, including a beggar's cast-off wig he found in a hedge and wore for two weeks. His clothes were so dilapidated that many mistook him for a common street beggar, and would put a penny into his hand as they passed. To avoid paying for a coach he would walk in the rain, and then sit in wet clothes to save the cost of a fire to dry them. His house was full of expensive furniture but also moulding food. . . . Rather than spend the money for repairs he allowed his spacious country mansion to become uninhabitable. A near relative once stayed at his home in the country, but the bedroom was in a poor state. So much so, that the relative was awakened in the night by rain pouring on him from the roof. After searching in vain for a bell, the relative was forced to move his bed several times, until he found a place where he could remain dry. On remarking the circumstance to Elwes in the morning, the latter said: "Ay! I don't mind it myself... that is a nice corner in the rain!" . . . Elwes lost huge sums of money to his colleagues in unrepaid loans, uncollected debts and dubious investments. He believed that one did not ask a gentleman for money, regardless of the circumstances. On one notable occasion Elwes, unsolicited, lent Lord Abingdon £7,000 [about $700,000 in today's money] to enable him to place a bet at Newmarket. On the day of the race, Elwes rode on horseback from Suffolk to the racetrack with nothing to eat for fourteen hours save a piece of pancake which he had put into his pocket two months earlier and which he swore to a startled companion was “as good as new”. . . . At his neglected estates he continued to forbid repairs, joined his tenants in postharvest gleaning, and sat with his servants in the kitchen to save the cost of a fire elsewhere. Even on the coldest day of winter he was known to sit fireless at his meals, saying that eating was "exercise enough" to keep him warm. If a stableboy put out hay for a visitor's horse, Elwes would sneak out and remove it. . . . His barrister, who drew up his £800,000 [$80 million] will, was forced to undertake his writings in the firelight by the dying man's bedside in order to save the cost of a candle. . . . After having lived on only £50 [$4,000] a year, Elwes left £500,000 (Approx £28,000,000 as of 2010) to his two sons who were born out of wedlock. ******** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-9 Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 You owe me six minutes of my life back. Five minutes for reading that. And one more for trying to figure out WTF point you were trying to make, other than a taking a shot at Ralph Wilson. GO BILLS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Best Player Available Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I didn't ask anything! But i know this. This is the lamest thread of the week by far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mitchmurraydowntown Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Douchy post, maybe ££££ yourself is in order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris heff Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Somebody should write a story about a miser that is mean and hates Christmas. Oh, wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jr1 Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Somebody was cramming for a Trivial Pursuit tournament Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chandemonium Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 You have your '90's era QB's mixed up. John Elwes is heavily involved with the Broncos. It's Jim Kelly who wants to buy the Bills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-9 Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 You have your '90's era QB's mixed up. John Elwes is heavily involved with the Broncos. It's Jim Kelly who wants to buy the Bills. LoL. Outstanding. GO BILLS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
You herd it hear last Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 At least he got laid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Barbarian Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Jim Kelly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcelstephon Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I don't know who the next owner of the Bills will be, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was someone reminiscent of John Elwes. Who was John Elwes, you ask? Elwes was an English politician, born in 1714. He inherited his uncle's fortune, worth about $25 million in today's dollars. ******* On assuming his uncle's fortune, however, Elwes also assumed his uncle's miserly ways. He went to bed when darkness fell so as to save on candles. He began wearing only ragged clothes, including a beggar's cast-off wig he found in a hedge and wore for two weeks. His clothes were so dilapidated that many mistook him for a common street beggar, and would put a penny into his hand as they passed. To avoid paying for a coach he would walk in the rain, and then sit in wet clothes to save the cost of a fire to dry them. His house was full of expensive furniture but also moulding food. . . . Rather than spend the money for repairs he allowed his spacious country mansion to become uninhabitable. A near relative once stayed at his home in the country, but the bedroom was in a poor state. So much so, that the relative was awakened in the night by rain pouring on him from the roof. After searching in vain for a bell, the relative was forced to move his bed several times, until he found a place where he could remain dry. On remarking the circumstance to Elwes in the morning, the latter said: "Ay! I don't mind it myself... that is a nice corner in the rain!" . . . Elwes lost huge sums of money to his colleagues in unrepaid loans, uncollected debts and dubious investments. He believed that one did not ask a gentleman for money, regardless of the circumstances. On one notable occasion Elwes, unsolicited, lent Lord Abingdon £7,000 [about $700,000 in today's money] to enable him to place a bet at Newmarket. On the day of the race, Elwes rode on horseback from Suffolk to the racetrack with nothing to eat for fourteen hours save a piece of pancake which he had put into his pocket two months earlier and which he swore to a startled companion was “as good as new”. . . . At his neglected estates he continued to forbid repairs, joined his tenants in postharvest gleaning, and sat with his servants in the kitchen to save the cost of a fire elsewhere. Even on the coldest day of winter he was known to sit fireless at his meals, saying that eating was "exercise enough" to keep him warm. If a stableboy put out hay for a visitor's horse, Elwes would sneak out and remove it. . . . His barrister, who drew up his £800,000 [$80 million] will, was forced to undertake his writings in the firelight by the dying man's bedside in order to save the cost of a candle. . . . After having lived on only £50 [$4,000] a year, Elwes left £500,000 (Approx £28,000,000 as of 2010) to his two sons who were born out of wedlock. ******** This quote is similar to one of my dads (who is rambling more than ever) rants...Dad is that you? Time for a nap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nucci Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Jim Kelly Besides the fact the team would stay in Buffalo, why Kelly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FitzShowUsYourTitz Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 (edited) "Billy Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." -from Billy Madison Edited October 13, 2012 by Cville Bills Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PearlHowardman Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 ...and what became of the two sons who interited the wealth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San Jose Bills Fan Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 You have your '90's era QB's mixed up. John Elwes is heavily involved with the Broncos. It's Jim Kelly who wants to buy the Bills. I think he meant Cary Elwes who had the role of Robin Hood… the outlaw who stole from the rich and gave to the poor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim in Anchorage Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 This quote is similar to one of my dads (who is rambling more than ever) rants...Dad is that you? Time for a nap Like this? http://www.hulu.com/#!watch/26211 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wagon Circler Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I was going to go with AEG Entertainment Group but this blew my mind, man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KOKBILLS Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Somebody was cramming for a Trivial Pursuit tournament Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awwufelloff Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Terry Pegula. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe W Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Excellent post. It sums up the hopelessness of the Bills ownership situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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